Irritated
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Washington
Posts: 137
Irritated
ok... i'm really trying to keep it together here. i've been struggling all day and the only thing i was looking forward to was going to the bookstore with hubby and getting some food. Well he just got home and informed me he was going to his brothers to watch the first seahawk game, and oh - did we still have any whiskey?
i don't even know what to do - i feel like my sanity and sobriety is hanging on by a thread. He just doesn't care! the fact that he knows i'm struggling and still thinks it's ok to keep booze in the house bothers me (i finished off the whiskey on wednesday) and the fact that i was counting on him and he left.
normally i'm not this much of a nag - i don't care if he wants to watch football, but i'm just really, really, really tired of being alone. I know that my husband feels like this is MY problem, and MINE alone and it bothers me.
i don't even know what to do - i feel like my sanity and sobriety is hanging on by a thread. He just doesn't care! the fact that he knows i'm struggling and still thinks it's ok to keep booze in the house bothers me (i finished off the whiskey on wednesday) and the fact that i was counting on him and he left.
normally i'm not this much of a nag - i don't care if he wants to watch football, but i'm just really, really, really tired of being alone. I know that my husband feels like this is MY problem, and MINE alone and it bothers me.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,460
My husband believed firmly that it was my problem and mine alone and that I needed to fix it.
I felt unbelievably alone, but I knew I had to do it.
Focus on yourself and what you can do. Take yourself out to eat, go to a movie, call a friend. Do something that makes you feel good.
I felt unbelievably alone, but I knew I had to do it.
Focus on yourself and what you can do. Take yourself out to eat, go to a movie, call a friend. Do something that makes you feel good.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
Hi Jen. So lets assume that your hubby is not going to help you in this at all, not because he doesnt care about you but because he doesnt understand alcoholism. Lets also assume that you want to stay with him. Lets find some ways for you to take care of yourself under these cicumstances.
1. Girlfriends you can talk to or hang out with instead of drinking?
2. Doing something fun by yourself without drinking?
3. Going to AA or another recovery program?
4. Staying alone and obsessing about alcohol?
Obviously, number 4 isnt the best. Can you think of anyother thing you can do?
1. Girlfriends you can talk to or hang out with instead of drinking?
2. Doing something fun by yourself without drinking?
3. Going to AA or another recovery program?
4. Staying alone and obsessing about alcohol?
Obviously, number 4 isnt the best. Can you think of anyother thing you can do?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Santa Rosa Beach, FL
Posts: 32
I'm so sorry Jen. Anyone can be schmucky sometimes. I'm sorry he picked a tough day to leave you hanging.
But you really aren't alone. These (and me) are real people on this board. They are really inspirational, caring, and helpful.
But you really aren't alone. These (and me) are real people on this board. They are really inspirational, caring, and helpful.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Washington
Posts: 137
i know you're all right and i do need to do this alone - but it's just hard, and it is so frustrating that he doesn't understand. i'll probably just go to the bookstore on my own. I've actually cut pretty much all friends out of my life because i'm a drunk - and that gets old for people after a while, so i really don't have any friends. i'm not saying that for sympathy, it's just a fact.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
Hi Jen,
My husband is similar.Just not really interested in it and thinks I should be 'over it by now'.'You've stopped drinking so why is it still a problem?' LOL.It's ridiculous really so I've had to learn to let it go and not depend on him for support in this.I get way too uptight if I do and that leads me to wanting to drink to spite him.It's insane thinking on my part but it has been a huge trigger in the past.
I'm really sorry you feel like this right now-but you have some good suggestions here. Definitely talk to someone you trust-or keep posting.You're not alone in this-believe me.
Julesxox
My husband is similar.Just not really interested in it and thinks I should be 'over it by now'.'You've stopped drinking so why is it still a problem?' LOL.It's ridiculous really so I've had to learn to let it go and not depend on him for support in this.I get way too uptight if I do and that leads me to wanting to drink to spite him.It's insane thinking on my part but it has been a huge trigger in the past.
I'm really sorry you feel like this right now-but you have some good suggestions here. Definitely talk to someone you trust-or keep posting.You're not alone in this-believe me.
Julesxox
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,344
sometimes JPat people just won't do what we want them to do - and I'm not being flippant - I feel your frustration...
Sometimes we have to go it alone - and that's the hardest walk I know. It sucks.
That's why this place is good tho Jen - they'll always be someone hereabouts who understands.
Go to the bookstore - spend up big
D
Sometimes we have to go it alone - and that's the hardest walk I know. It sucks.
That's why this place is good tho Jen - they'll always be someone hereabouts who understands.
Go to the bookstore - spend up big
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Washington
Posts: 137
i'm off to the bookstore - i really appreciate you guys getting me through this! i need to get off my little pity-pot and get out of the frickin house - thats my problem! :ghug
i'll be back on later when i get home! thats what i love about this site - i feel bad, i post, and within minutes i'm getting support. Thanks again!
i'll be back on later when i get home! thats what i love about this site - i feel bad, i post, and within minutes i'm getting support. Thanks again!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,947
it was really nice for me to come here and read this thread
i can tend to get very jealous when my gf drinks/drank....
she came home tonight drunk
she kicked me out of the house and I put money down for a new place
i'm kind've sad about it, i feel bad for hurting her so many times, getting high (if one would call it that because actually my using was a night mare experience, not a good one, that i've went to over and over and over...chasing that first buzz or whatever) and then abandoning her over and over.
i don't know ... maybe she, or our relationship, has been not good for my problem anymore...she has been supportive and helpful, and has put up with hell from my web of addiction, but the hurt may now be too much for there to be anything good to stand on in a relationship anymore.
but I don't much do good at being alone...i always want someone with me....
anyway enough about me....I appreciate this thread and i'm starting into recovery again
i can tend to get very jealous when my gf drinks/drank....
she came home tonight drunk
she kicked me out of the house and I put money down for a new place
i'm kind've sad about it, i feel bad for hurting her so many times, getting high (if one would call it that because actually my using was a night mare experience, not a good one, that i've went to over and over and over...chasing that first buzz or whatever) and then abandoning her over and over.
i don't know ... maybe she, or our relationship, has been not good for my problem anymore...she has been supportive and helpful, and has put up with hell from my web of addiction, but the hurt may now be too much for there to be anything good to stand on in a relationship anymore.
but I don't much do good at being alone...i always want someone with me....
anyway enough about me....I appreciate this thread and i'm starting into recovery again
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Washington
Posts: 137
hey ksplash - when my boyfriend drinks out with his friends it's not to bad because he doesn't do it often. what REALLY sucks is when i come home and his friends are over and they're drinking. at those times it's much easier for me to partake, and he doesn't really care because he's already buzzed.
I'm sorry about your living situation though, are you moving soon? that is actually one of my biggest fears - that one day he's just gonna come home and find me passed out/drunk and tell me thats it - i know if i don't stop it eventually will. I'm really sorry that happened to you.
Do you have many days of sobriety? I'm only on day 2 - and the good thing about posting here is that you get support/feedback very quickly - that totally saved me today!
take care of yourself!
I'm sorry about your living situation though, are you moving soon? that is actually one of my biggest fears - that one day he's just gonna come home and find me passed out/drunk and tell me thats it - i know if i don't stop it eventually will. I'm really sorry that happened to you.
Do you have many days of sobriety? I'm only on day 2 - and the good thing about posting here is that you get support/feedback very quickly - that totally saved me today!
take care of yourself!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,947
actually today is my 3rd day clean and sober now.
it's midday and i'm hanging in there....went for a nice walk with my daughter and now back the uncomfortable feelings are creeping in a little bit.
my gf or ex-gf, whatever the case may be, is sitting across from me. I just told her that i'm going to drop off my official application to the apartment and that i could be moving in as early as next weekend.
i kind've cant believe this is happening. so many mixed feelings are in me, and i'm sad about the hurt i've caused her. she has a history with depression and i haven't been helpful when i've used and i spent a lot of my time helping her with her depression. but maybe i did more harm than good.
i don't want to be alone. i dont want to sleep alone. but i am going to be doing just that soon....i hate moving...i don't even want to ask anyone for help....i really may be able to do it by myself if she wants to keep my couch.
yes a lot of sadness there. and i'll have thoughts of wanting to fall in love with some girl at the alano club today, or a meeting....so that i don't have to feel alone. i've not had a time in my life when i was able to live alone, and without alcohol/pot or for the last 8 years, crack.
writing about it can help. but i got to write it and then move through it. my tendency has been to write it and then go use an hour a day or a week later. so today i have to keep moving through these things
thanks for listening and good luck staying clean to everybody
it's midday and i'm hanging in there....went for a nice walk with my daughter and now back the uncomfortable feelings are creeping in a little bit.
my gf or ex-gf, whatever the case may be, is sitting across from me. I just told her that i'm going to drop off my official application to the apartment and that i could be moving in as early as next weekend.
i kind've cant believe this is happening. so many mixed feelings are in me, and i'm sad about the hurt i've caused her. she has a history with depression and i haven't been helpful when i've used and i spent a lot of my time helping her with her depression. but maybe i did more harm than good.
i don't want to be alone. i dont want to sleep alone. but i am going to be doing just that soon....i hate moving...i don't even want to ask anyone for help....i really may be able to do it by myself if she wants to keep my couch.
yes a lot of sadness there. and i'll have thoughts of wanting to fall in love with some girl at the alano club today, or a meeting....so that i don't have to feel alone. i've not had a time in my life when i was able to live alone, and without alcohol/pot or for the last 8 years, crack.
writing about it can help. but i got to write it and then move through it. my tendency has been to write it and then go use an hour a day or a week later. so today i have to keep moving through these things
thanks for listening and good luck staying clean to everybody
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