Startingover2

I am determined to start today with a positive attitude. Hope I can keep it up, but for now positive. I woke up today and gazed into my sleeping baby's face and felt such love and a need to protect her from any harm. She is now my reason I will go forward and make a good life for her. When AH walked out on me the first time, we didn't have a daughter. All I felt was MY pain and how I felt. Now I feel disgust for him and anger at what a pathetic man he is, but more so what a weak father he is to his daughter. I need to find a way to make up for his shortcomings in her life. He won't be a consistent person for her. Sure, I invision him visiting her and such, but not really being a father. He is incapeable of fathering his other two children.

Before I went to bed last night I recieved a text from AH:

-Give baby a kiss for me and tell her that her daddy loves and misses her. Love you both.

Nice thought, but pathetic. He is a weak man that is run by alcohol, pills and his ego. Those are more important than his family.

I went to bed, gave my baby a kiss and thought I wouldn't trade where I am right now for anything or anybody. I would never abandon her nor leave her. She is my reason for living.

austingemini

Hey StartingOver2, sounds like a tough situation. And it sounds like you're a caring mom. I hope you have plenty of "reasons to live" outside of just your identity as a mom. It sounds like AH is no longer at home? Is that the case? Or just not coming home when he should?

Startingover2

I have some threads on here if you want to look. But basically my AH got his second DUI and life went to hell from there. Caught him the other night texting his former OW. He packed up and left. We have a 4 month old together that was supposed to be the most important thing to him.

Barbara52

Although you of course may indeed be right about what sort of a father he will be, please do not assume that an uninvolved father or absent father or whatever father you AH may be over time means that your daughter is going to be negatively impacted by it. She has you! She has a parent who will do what needs to be done and who can help her through whatever difficulties face her. Your AH may not be capable of being the best father in the world but he will be the father he will be. You will be there to help your daughter.

You cannot predict what will happen in the future. But you can plan your life so that it is as stable as you can make it. Including having an alcoholic father. Or maybe someday a recovering alcoholic fatehr.