tryingtolive

Growing up I was always very social, talkative, well liked etc.

Towards the later part of my drinking I was using it to socialize as I really struggled with talking with people and having conversations that just flowed naturally, which was never a problem before I realized I was alcoholic.

I am 3 weeks sober and I have been hanging out with people from AA but I feel so damn nervous and awkward that I can't talk much. I feel like I don't have anything to say or what I have to say is stupid. I feel so lost. I don't belong with these people and I don't belong out drinking and going down the path I was on is what I think.

I also feel as if I am making them uncomfortable. I sometimes think that they don't want me around. I don't bring anything to the table. I really feel like I just suck. Even though deep down I know I am a fun person if that person can emerge. At least I think so...maybe I don't know ****. Its all strange and confusing. I don't know if I even have thoughts sometimes. I am extremely self conscious and worried about how I come across.

Can ya relate?

CarolD

Sure...I too felt weird in early sobriety.

All my social contacts were based on drinking/drinkers.
Even my job was....

I also felt strange hanging with new AA friends.
Then a new guy came around.
....Now it was someone else's turn to be unsure.

It somply takes time to adjust
and you too will soon see improvement.
:ghug3

RK2007

Sure can, I get socially anxious sometimes which is probably some part of the reason I was drinking to blot some of it out maybe. But you're not stuck that way for life, you can change it.

Thing is, what we're doing is spending so much damn time thinking about what other people are thinking about us that we can't think about what they're saying to us like 'normal' people. They don't understand that you're worrying so much about what they think about you, trying to fit in that you can't really concentrate on what's going on around you which is why you think you make them uncomfortable - it's not really like that, they think you're not interested in what they have to say, they can't see the turmoil that's going on inside your head. And then, when you go home, you repeat the events over and over in your head, judging how you 'performed' this time, probably over-analysing yourself to bits.

You can let go of all this - there are techniques you can use to overcome social anxiety and it's working for me so far, since I quit drinking I found out I suffered from this but I don't really think like that any more. People have noticed the difference in me too, where I used to make them uncomfortable (and sometimes I just thought I did when I wasn't actually), they really like having me around now.

I'm going to upload a very helpful booklet thing I found on the net about how to start addressing your anxiety. It's not an overnight miracle cure, no way - it's hard work but if you work at it, you'll get the results you're after. Test yourself each day with new situations, push yourself a little past your comfort zone each day and you'll find that your comfort zone begins to expand.

I'll upload that book and post a link in this thread once it's uploaded.

RK2007

Here you go, read this - it really helped me:-

MEGAUPLOAD - The leading online storage and file delivery service

To download it, you nee to enter the three letters (IN UPPER CASE) in the box and press enter, then it makes you wait 45 seconds before it lets you download it. If you have difficulty doing that, PM me and maybe I can email it to you.

tommyk

I can totally relate.

It took me a lot of meetings and a lot of time with the 12 steps to discover the reason.

It was my disease talking. Sometimes it still is, but I know it now.

I know now it isn't me and my thinking - it is disease thinking.