OMG, I could drink!
mle-sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
OMG, I could drink!
My husband's gone for 10 days. My 2 oldest children are gone for a week. My two youngest are gone for 3 days. I'm supposed to be using this time to work and to relax, both.
I keep thinking, "OMG, I could drink! And no one would know! I could just go sit in my old favorite bar and have 3 glasses of good cold chardonnay. Oh the beauty of it!"
And then I think "Oh crud. I would know. I would have to start counting my days over (I'm at 6 months this week). I would have to tell my sponsor. I would have to tell my husband because I've promised and if I didn't I would know. And what if it made me manic again?"
And then I forget about it all and 30 seconds later hear that thought pop up in my head, "OMG, I could drink!"
And it goes around and around and around like that in my head.
I do not want to drink I have too much too lose my mother would be so disappointed my husband would be so sad I would hate myself the shame the shame is already bad enough just thinking about it for God's sake... I can't believe I'm even thinking about it. As if it's a rational option. As if it's just a choice about which side of the bed to sleep on while my husband's away. It's my life. Dammit. Some part of me really doesn't get it. And I have to beat that part into submission all the time. It's exhausting.
Ugh.
I keep thinking, "OMG, I could drink! And no one would know! I could just go sit in my old favorite bar and have 3 glasses of good cold chardonnay. Oh the beauty of it!"
And then I think "Oh crud. I would know. I would have to start counting my days over (I'm at 6 months this week). I would have to tell my sponsor. I would have to tell my husband because I've promised and if I didn't I would know. And what if it made me manic again?"
And then I forget about it all and 30 seconds later hear that thought pop up in my head, "OMG, I could drink!"
And it goes around and around and around like that in my head.
I do not want to drink I have too much too lose my mother would be so disappointed my husband would be so sad I would hate myself the shame the shame is already bad enough just thinking about it for God's sake... I can't believe I'm even thinking about it. As if it's a rational option. As if it's just a choice about which side of the bed to sleep on while my husband's away. It's my life. Dammit. Some part of me really doesn't get it. And I have to beat that part into submission all the time. It's exhausting.
Ugh.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
this sounds like what for me is the insanity that proceeds the first drink. You did great to come there and post. If you are in aa or na...call your sponsor or someone you have daily contact with...NOW.
I still have this insanity at times. an HP saves me...for me, the law of cause and effect and the spiritual path I am on. my hp says if I drink I'll get drunk. It says that a thought is just a thought, I don't have to act on it. Let it drift away. It may come back but it will go away as well. As you said you were expereincing it...it comes and goes.
I am there with you in my heart. Please keep posting. maybe set up a task to do and when it's done, post again. I did that with a sponsor with phone calls during a particularly bad time during my inventory process.
I'm glad you are here...oh yeah..read your old posts!!!!!:ghug
I still have this insanity at times. an HP saves me...for me, the law of cause and effect and the spiritual path I am on. my hp says if I drink I'll get drunk. It says that a thought is just a thought, I don't have to act on it. Let it drift away. It may come back but it will go away as well. As you said you were expereincing it...it comes and goes.
I am there with you in my heart. Please keep posting. maybe set up a task to do and when it's done, post again. I did that with a sponsor with phone calls during a particularly bad time during my inventory process.
I'm glad you are here...oh yeah..read your old posts!!!!!:ghug
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
You're right that 'you' would know. And that's the 'rigours honesty' needed to stay sober. Knowing what it will do to you if you drink. KNowing how bad off you can be, not to mention having to start all over again.
Keep talking yourself out of it. Call someone. Do a different routine. Make a list of all the bad things that could happen if you drink.
You can get past this. Feed the good part of you and starve the bad part. YOU CAN DO THIS!!:ghug3
Keep talking yourself out of it. Call someone. Do a different routine. Make a list of all the bad things that could happen if you drink.
You can get past this. Feed the good part of you and starve the bad part. YOU CAN DO THIS!!:ghug3
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,385
Play that tape through MLE. Think of all the reasons you quit.
Not for your sponsor, your husband or your kids.
Think about what alcohol does to *you*.
these 'no-one will ever know' moments are part of our condition.
More lies.
We'd know - and that's the worst hurt we could do to ourselves.
stay strong
D
Not for your sponsor, your husband or your kids.
Think about what alcohol does to *you*.
these 'no-one will ever know' moments are part of our condition.
More lies.
We'd know - and that's the worst hurt we could do to ourselves.
stay strong
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 2,299
Hey there,
Breathe.....
Being alone is a huge trigger for me too-I get it.The thing is-you 'could' drink-sure-but you know better.Think of the remorse and the sense of failure afterwards.You are stronger than this.You've clocked up some good sobertime-you don't have to throw it away because of the situation you're in right now.Can you call someone?It's important you're not alone right now because that's what seems to be setting you off.If not-then keep posting.You're not alone really.This craving will pass.It's the mental obsession getting to you probably much more than the physical.You can ride it out.
Get busy if you need to-clean your kitchen-have a bath, vacuum the floors-do something to distract yourself for a while.
Thinking of you,
Jules.
Breathe.....
Being alone is a huge trigger for me too-I get it.The thing is-you 'could' drink-sure-but you know better.Think of the remorse and the sense of failure afterwards.You are stronger than this.You've clocked up some good sobertime-you don't have to throw it away because of the situation you're in right now.Can you call someone?It's important you're not alone right now because that's what seems to be setting you off.If not-then keep posting.You're not alone really.This craving will pass.It's the mental obsession getting to you probably much more than the physical.You can ride it out.
Get busy if you need to-clean your kitchen-have a bath, vacuum the floors-do something to distract yourself for a while.
Thinking of you,
Jules.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
I'm faced with this on a daily basis, since I'm alone all day and no children at home. Absolutely no one would know. The thing that stops me is, I no longer can predict what will happen to me if I play with it. The fear that it could lead me to madness or death sure takes all the fun out of it! I came so close last time, I can't go back there ever again. It does something different to me now than it did even a few years ago. I wish I had a better reason for staying sober, but for me fear of dying works. I think it's good to go ahead and think it through, like you're doing, Mle, instead of pretending the thoughts didn't pop into your head and shoving them down. I predict you will not give in. Love, Joanie
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 112
Originally Posted by ananda 
.
I still have this insanity at times. an HP saves me...for me, the law of cause and effect and the spiritual path I am on. my hp says if I drink I'll get drunk.
I still have this insanity at times. an HP saves me...for me, the law of cause and effect and the spiritual path I am on. my hp says if I drink I'll get drunk.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Hi mlesober and friends!
I just got up and logged on. I was having this awful dream about drinking. When I woke up and realized it was a dream, I felt such relief. My point is that I believe that it was my HP, reminding me how horrible the shame and remorse are. It has given me another shot in the arm to keep going and chip away at this disease as best I can.
You have shown such strength in all that you have been through, mle, and you have been an inspiration to me and countless others. Don't back down now, it isn't worth it. I'll pm you later, promise!
PS Check out gravity's thread on "keeping it simple (alcoholism forum). There are some words of wisdom there..
:ghug3
I just got up and logged on. I was having this awful dream about drinking. When I woke up and realized it was a dream, I felt such relief. My point is that I believe that it was my HP, reminding me how horrible the shame and remorse are. It has given me another shot in the arm to keep going and chip away at this disease as best I can.
You have shown such strength in all that you have been through, mle, and you have been an inspiration to me and countless others. Don't back down now, it isn't worth it. I'll pm you later, promise!
PS Check out gravity's thread on "keeping it simple (alcoholism forum). There are some words of wisdom there..
:ghug3
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Praying helps me immensley.
You and I are now non drinkers
so we have no business in a bar.
Things that have worked for me...
Action...call someone...dance around the room...eat Ice cream
A buble bath with scented candles plus listening to Chopin.
You too can continue to win over alcohol.
You and I are now non drinkers
so we have no business in a bar.
Things that have worked for me...
Action...call someone...dance around the room...eat Ice cream
A buble bath with scented candles plus listening to Chopin.
You too can continue to win over alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Grants Pass, Oregon
Posts: 137
Originally Posted by mle-sober
My husband's gone for 10 days. My 2 oldest children are gone for a week. My two youngest are gone for 3 days. I'm supposed to be using this time to work and to relax, both.
I keep thinking, "OMG, I could drink! And no one would know! I could just go sit in my old favorite bar and have 3 glasses of good cold chardonnay. Oh the beauty of it!"
And then I think "Oh crud. I would know. I would have to start counting my days over (I'm at 6 months this week). I would have to tell my sponsor. I would have to tell my husband because I've promised and if I didn't I would know. And what if it made me manic again?"
And then I forget about it all and 30 seconds later hear that thought pop up in my head, "OMG, I could drink!"
And it goes around and around and around like that in my head.
I do not want to drink I have too much too lose my mother would be so disappointed my husband would be so sad I would hate myself the shame the shame is already bad enough just thinking about it for God's sake... I can't believe I'm even thinking about it. As if it's a rational option. As if it's just a choice about which side of the bed to sleep on while my husband's away. It's my life. Dammit. Some part of me really doesn't get it. And I have to beat that part into submission all the time. It's exhausting.
Ugh.
I keep thinking, "OMG, I could drink! And no one would know! I could just go sit in my old favorite bar and have 3 glasses of good cold chardonnay. Oh the beauty of it!"
And then I think "Oh crud. I would know. I would have to start counting my days over (I'm at 6 months this week). I would have to tell my sponsor. I would have to tell my husband because I've promised and if I didn't I would know. And what if it made me manic again?"
And then I forget about it all and 30 seconds later hear that thought pop up in my head, "OMG, I could drink!"
And it goes around and around and around like that in my head.
I do not want to drink I have too much too lose my mother would be so disappointed my husband would be so sad I would hate myself the shame the shame is already bad enough just thinking about it for God's sake... I can't believe I'm even thinking about it. As if it's a rational option. As if it's just a choice about which side of the bed to sleep on while my husband's away. It's my life. Dammit. Some part of me really doesn't get it. And I have to beat that part into submission all the time. It's exhausting.
Ugh.
Well the friend knew there were guns in the home and called the police who came and knocked on the door and, after receiving no reply, kicked the door in. The guy, finally hearing all the noise but not knowing what was causing it, grabbed a gun from the night stand and pointed it at the door where he could hear the intruders approaching.
He's lucky the cops didn't shoot him, but he was taken to the hospital on a 51/50 because of what he had said to the friend and his wife returned to find the door kicked in and her husband in the psych ward. I understand the hosp. stay cost quite a few thousand dollars and I don't know about the door.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
I used to drink at home, alone too and it was a huge trigger for me if husband and kids were not around.
You're doing great and being honest with yourself is a huge step in recovery.
You're doing great and being honest with yourself is a huge step in recovery.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Miamisburg, Ohio
Posts: 217
Hi mle..
You can't believe your even thinking about it! Yea, me too. I've had to accept that my mind will sometimes lie to me.
I can sit and think about some sad situation like something terrible happening to one of my children and feel a full range of emotions...over something I've made up in my head!!
Yes, my mind will lie to me. Being alcoholic, one of the favorite lies is that there's some comfort for me in alcohol. I need to look at these thoughts different.
When I have a thought that something terrible has happened to my children I don't need to seek them out and prove that they're OK, I need to realize that it was just my imagination running away. Same with drinking for me, I don't need to seek it out to prove that my imagination is playing a trick on me.
I need to seperate myself from my disease! Thoughts of drinking used to conjure up shear fear in me...I was a total failure for having them. Now I see those thoughts as a reminder of my disease...a way to identify my problem and work to fight my enemy...alcohol.
The best thing I've found at fighting my disease is telling on myself, just as you have in this post. Remember, we are only as sick as our secrets.
Peace
You can't believe your even thinking about it! Yea, me too. I've had to accept that my mind will sometimes lie to me.
I can sit and think about some sad situation like something terrible happening to one of my children and feel a full range of emotions...over something I've made up in my head!!
Yes, my mind will lie to me. Being alcoholic, one of the favorite lies is that there's some comfort for me in alcohol. I need to look at these thoughts different.
When I have a thought that something terrible has happened to my children I don't need to seek them out and prove that they're OK, I need to realize that it was just my imagination running away. Same with drinking for me, I don't need to seek it out to prove that my imagination is playing a trick on me.
I need to seperate myself from my disease! Thoughts of drinking used to conjure up shear fear in me...I was a total failure for having them. Now I see those thoughts as a reminder of my disease...a way to identify my problem and work to fight my enemy...alcohol.
The best thing I've found at fighting my disease is telling on myself, just as you have in this post. Remember, we are only as sick as our secrets.
Peace
mle-sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Thank you all. I went to bed hoping that there would be some responses when I got up in the morning... Something to fortify myself with! And there are. So many of your words are going to help me through my day today.
I have emailed my sponsor - she's very sick right now and I don't know if she's checking her email. But I will go to a meeting today. I missed my last two - had good excuses but I just noticed that when reading your posts.... I'm sure I need to put my sobriety back up on a higher level of priority so that missing meetings isn't an option. Certainly not this week.
I appreciate especially Ananda's words - that the thought is just a thought and it will come and go...
And Least's suggestion to make a list of all the bad things that can happen. And the suggestion to "feed the good part of me and starve he bad." Least: I'm going to post that up on my cup-board door in the kitchen for the week!
Wish I were Normal's story and Hevyn's and Katie88's words help with that because seriously, I've been in the psych ward many times and I certainly don't want to go back there. OMG. It's true that I cannot predict what would happen to me. I have to face that truth and recognize the lie I am telling myself. As if I could just go sit and have a nice time and it would all pass unnoticed. I have no authority to know that.
353 is right - I need to separate myself from my disease. And Jules and many others of you are right to point out that I need to remember that that the very least, even if there aren't serious consequences like the pysch ward, there are the serious consequences of remorse and shame.
And Dee's right - that drinking might be the worst hurt I could do myself right now. I think I could regulate it and maybe I could. But maybe I couldn't. I'm Bipolar and have been well for the last 6 months while I was sober... Adding alcohol after getting stable is self-sabotage. I've worked very hard to be were I am am emotionally and spiritually and also with my relationships. I don't want to kill all that.
Reading through all of your messages and trying to take in the encouragement and support along with the words of wisdom, I do feel fortified. Thank you.
I'm making a plan - I have some errands to run and then I'm going to come home and try to make a list of all the bad things that could happen if I drank today. (One day at a time.) I will go to my noon meeting. After, I've called a friend and she's meeting me for lunch and a movie.
And when I get back, I'll check in here and then I'll start working on sanding down some new boards for painting - that's good manual work and I usually listen to music while I do it so my mind is just focused on the task at hand and the music in my ears.
I think I'll rent myself a movie for tonight (2 movies in one day!). And buy something special and nice for dinner from the Whole Foods store. I never get to go there because it's too expensive. Also there's a book store next door so I could find a good novel.
Hmm.... sounds like an attractive plan.
Thanks for your support. I'm definately on a better track than I was last night and for the past couple of days thinking about my family being gone. I'll check back in.
Love, MLE
I have emailed my sponsor - she's very sick right now and I don't know if she's checking her email. But I will go to a meeting today. I missed my last two - had good excuses but I just noticed that when reading your posts.... I'm sure I need to put my sobriety back up on a higher level of priority so that missing meetings isn't an option. Certainly not this week.
I appreciate especially Ananda's words - that the thought is just a thought and it will come and go...
And Least's suggestion to make a list of all the bad things that can happen. And the suggestion to "feed the good part of me and starve he bad." Least: I'm going to post that up on my cup-board door in the kitchen for the week!
Wish I were Normal's story and Hevyn's and Katie88's words help with that because seriously, I've been in the psych ward many times and I certainly don't want to go back there. OMG. It's true that I cannot predict what would happen to me. I have to face that truth and recognize the lie I am telling myself. As if I could just go sit and have a nice time and it would all pass unnoticed. I have no authority to know that.
353 is right - I need to separate myself from my disease. And Jules and many others of you are right to point out that I need to remember that that the very least, even if there aren't serious consequences like the pysch ward, there are the serious consequences of remorse and shame.
And Dee's right - that drinking might be the worst hurt I could do myself right now. I think I could regulate it and maybe I could. But maybe I couldn't. I'm Bipolar and have been well for the last 6 months while I was sober... Adding alcohol after getting stable is self-sabotage. I've worked very hard to be were I am am emotionally and spiritually and also with my relationships. I don't want to kill all that.
Reading through all of your messages and trying to take in the encouragement and support along with the words of wisdom, I do feel fortified. Thank you.
I'm making a plan - I have some errands to run and then I'm going to come home and try to make a list of all the bad things that could happen if I drank today. (One day at a time.) I will go to my noon meeting. After, I've called a friend and she's meeting me for lunch and a movie.
And when I get back, I'll check in here and then I'll start working on sanding down some new boards for painting - that's good manual work and I usually listen to music while I do it so my mind is just focused on the task at hand and the music in my ears.
I think I'll rent myself a movie for tonight (2 movies in one day!). And buy something special and nice for dinner from the Whole Foods store. I never get to go there because it's too expensive. Also there's a book store next door so I could find a good novel.
Hmm.... sounds like an attractive plan.
Thanks for your support. I'm definately on a better track than I was last night and for the past couple of days thinking about my family being gone. I'll check back in.
Love, MLE
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
First of all, I am so glad you wrote here and released the power of those thoughts rather than romantacizing them and allowing them to grow. I remember my first year of sobriety I would have those thoughts and invariably they would hit at milestones (1, 3, 6, 9, 12 and 18 months). My mind would start screaming for a drink and would go so far as to tell me that since I had gone "x" number of days or months without a drink that I couldn't "really" be an alcoholic and that this time would be different, nobody would know, I could just have a few and stop, etc.
It bothered me to the point where I shared in a meeting and was surprised to find that everyone had those thoughts. I was told that the first thought (where we want the drink) is normal and not the one to worry about. The important thought is the second throught where we decide what we're going to do with that thought.
While it is true that you might be able to have a few without getting caught "this time" it is also true that if you are an alcoholic you have a disease that would not be satisfied with just this one expirament. It would rationalize that if you got away with it once surely you could do it again and maybe add another drink while you were at it. You would be on that damn slippery slope that got us all where we were to begin with. Wouldn't take long at all before the misery was back along with the guilt, shame and remorse. Wouldn't take long before you overdid it and your family figured it out and were devastated. Wouldn't take long before the insanity would be back full force. Is it worth it? Probably not.
So.................... what to do with the thoughts. Acknowledge them as you have done, thank them for sharing and then move them on their way. Get and stay busy. Find something to keep you busy, preferably involving intense work with another alcoholic. One of the best things you could do would be to try to find a detox house and hit a meeting there. Watch the people in the violent throes of detox from alcohol, give them the hope that it can get better while reminding yourself of how bad it gets. Win, win. Doubt you'd want a drink after that. If you can't handle that then see if there is a halfway house that you could visit and make a meeting at (same priniciples at work). At the very least get your butt out of the house and go work out, go to a movie, hang out with a friend, do something you enjoy and try to do it with someone you care about or last but not least have a marathon session here until you feel stronger.
Hope this helps!
Kellye
It bothered me to the point where I shared in a meeting and was surprised to find that everyone had those thoughts. I was told that the first thought (where we want the drink) is normal and not the one to worry about. The important thought is the second throught where we decide what we're going to do with that thought.
While it is true that you might be able to have a few without getting caught "this time" it is also true that if you are an alcoholic you have a disease that would not be satisfied with just this one expirament. It would rationalize that if you got away with it once surely you could do it again and maybe add another drink while you were at it. You would be on that damn slippery slope that got us all where we were to begin with. Wouldn't take long at all before the misery was back along with the guilt, shame and remorse. Wouldn't take long before you overdid it and your family figured it out and were devastated. Wouldn't take long before the insanity would be back full force. Is it worth it? Probably not.
So.................... what to do with the thoughts. Acknowledge them as you have done, thank them for sharing and then move them on their way. Get and stay busy. Find something to keep you busy, preferably involving intense work with another alcoholic. One of the best things you could do would be to try to find a detox house and hit a meeting there. Watch the people in the violent throes of detox from alcohol, give them the hope that it can get better while reminding yourself of how bad it gets. Win, win. Doubt you'd want a drink after that. If you can't handle that then see if there is a halfway house that you could visit and make a meeting at (same priniciples at work). At the very least get your butt out of the house and go work out, go to a movie, hang out with a friend, do something you enjoy and try to do it with someone you care about or last but not least have a marathon session here until you feel stronger.
Hope this helps!
Kellye
mle-sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Well, so funny how things go.
I called my sponsor - she is getting better and is able to meet with me tomorrow before our noon meeting. But she said something very important to me. She said, "Have you prayed?" No. I hadn't prayed yet. This is particularly funny (not sure that's quite the right word but anyway...) because I pray ALL THE TIME. About every little thing. Seriously. Like a running conversation with my HP in my head all the time. But, for some reason, here I am, feeling like I'm fighting a war within myself and like I might be losing - the part of me that prays went out of service. It really does feel like a war. And my alcoholism didn't want me to pray.
I hung up with my sponsor and I got down on my knees (I don't always do that but here I needed to beg) I got down on my knees and I just started sobbing. And I prayed for help. In whatever way it could be given. Whatever help the universe could give me, I could use it and please, please....
I pulled myself together to meet my friend for lunch and a movie. My friend is wonderful and we had a good conversation and a good meal. And the only movie that was playing was Mamma Mia. I wouldn't have chosen it. But it was exactly what I needed. I love Abba. Always have. It was so upbeat and silly and fun I laughed and laughed.
Then my friend left and I had to navigate my way through some more errands and then home, trying to stay sober. I went to start the car and it was dead. So, for the next 3 hours, I called and waited for AAA not once but twice. Because it died twice.
It was like the universe was just keeping me busy with things that I couldn't be tempted to drink while doing. Those were some important hours - hours that would've been the most tmepting for me.
And now here I am at home alone in the evening, with a vehicle that won't start so I can't get to the liquor store even if I want to. Ha HA.
I have posted little notes to myself all over the house. I have some movies to watch. A nice juice and pelligrino drink. And I am home alone, safe and sound. Sober. I made it through today!!!!!!
Thank you all for your help. Your words and support stayed with me all day.
Tomorrow's another day. I'll start here and go from there.
- MLE
I called my sponsor - she is getting better and is able to meet with me tomorrow before our noon meeting. But she said something very important to me. She said, "Have you prayed?" No. I hadn't prayed yet. This is particularly funny (not sure that's quite the right word but anyway...) because I pray ALL THE TIME. About every little thing. Seriously. Like a running conversation with my HP in my head all the time. But, for some reason, here I am, feeling like I'm fighting a war within myself and like I might be losing - the part of me that prays went out of service. It really does feel like a war. And my alcoholism didn't want me to pray.
I hung up with my sponsor and I got down on my knees (I don't always do that but here I needed to beg) I got down on my knees and I just started sobbing. And I prayed for help. In whatever way it could be given. Whatever help the universe could give me, I could use it and please, please....
I pulled myself together to meet my friend for lunch and a movie. My friend is wonderful and we had a good conversation and a good meal. And the only movie that was playing was Mamma Mia. I wouldn't have chosen it. But it was exactly what I needed. I love Abba. Always have. It was so upbeat and silly and fun I laughed and laughed.
Then my friend left and I had to navigate my way through some more errands and then home, trying to stay sober. I went to start the car and it was dead. So, for the next 3 hours, I called and waited for AAA not once but twice. Because it died twice.
It was like the universe was just keeping me busy with things that I couldn't be tempted to drink while doing. Those were some important hours - hours that would've been the most tmepting for me.
And now here I am at home alone in the evening, with a vehicle that won't start so I can't get to the liquor store even if I want to. Ha HA.
I have posted little notes to myself all over the house. I have some movies to watch. A nice juice and pelligrino drink. And I am home alone, safe and sound. Sober. I made it through today!!!!!!
Thank you all for your help. Your words and support stayed with me all day.
Tomorrow's another day. I'll start here and go from there.
- MLE
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,947
hello mlesober
i appreciated your thoughts and everybody's responses and then your thoughts and solutions the next morning.
you're taking good action. keep it up. and the 6 months is great too. it puts something in you that you don't want to give up. it's important to follow up with the actions you 'thought' about doing. have you completed the list of bad things that could happen? that sounds like a good excercise.
this thread opened a little door in my mind of memories when I would create my recovery as you have done here. thanks. maybe I can open that door a little more and then add some more memories to it
i appreciated your thoughts and everybody's responses and then your thoughts and solutions the next morning.
you're taking good action. keep it up. and the 6 months is great too. it puts something in you that you don't want to give up. it's important to follow up with the actions you 'thought' about doing. have you completed the list of bad things that could happen? that sounds like a good excercise.
this thread opened a little door in my mind of memories when I would create my recovery as you have done here. thanks. maybe I can open that door a little more and then add some more memories to it
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