Reddmax

Okay all, here's a 2 for one.

This is what's going on. Currently, I have two consultations with attorney's scheduled. The first is on Monday, and the second is on Thursday. I need to schedule a third, but that's dependent on fundage as well as time.

I'm working on finding a way to transport my dog to the appropriate place. So that's in progress.


The question I have for other people that have gone through this process. How do you have the "Talk", where you indicate that the behavior of the SO is unacceptable, and that you're finished with it?

Could people please relate their personal experiences?

Redd

i4getsm

I didn't have a long drawn out conversation. I just sat down and said I'm done. I've got a lawyer and will be filing for divorce. Told him that I could keep some of his stuff until he found a place to stay, then he had to come and get it. Told him that he could see the kids whenever he wanted - at my home or at his parents' home (with them there).

There's really no reason to go back over all the bad things that have happened. Once you're done, you're done. Ya know? I didn't want to fight or try to show him the light. Just needed to deal with the logistics. I knew rehashing things would NOT change a single thing.

Hope that helps.

LaTeeDa

This is so true. I look back on all the "talks" I had with my AH. They were all about me trying to control him. Giving him ultimatums and trying to figure out what it would take to get him to do what I wanted him to do.

Once I was done, there was no more "talking." I took action.

L

respektingme

I'm the wrong person to ask. In the past, when I've been done with a relationship, I really didn't care anymore about any sort of reaction the other person might be having. I have had a history of hanging on to relationships longer than I should have. So, by the time I made the move, I was all about the future.

I had been dating my last bf for 3 years. When I broke up with him, I left my car idling in the driveway. I think I said something about the fact that the relationship wasn't working for me, it was over, and I had to go. He cried, I gave him a hug and left.

When you know, you know. If there aren't any kids, that makes things so much easier. Honestly, given the way your AW has treated you, I can't see giving her an opportunity to chug a few bottles of wine while you guys have a long drawn out talk so she can become abusive some more. I'd keep it short and be ready to split if she goes crazy.

Let us know what the attorneys say.

prodigal

I did not have a talk with my exAH. I was talked out by the time I got to the point that I had one foot out the door. I did not see the point of wasting my own time attempting yet another fruitless conversation about why I could no longer stay. It only led to finger-pointing.

He wanted to remain a drunk. I wanted to live without a drunk. I positioned myself by getting a good paying job with great benefits a year before I walked out. I knew I was going to walk. A year into the job I was tired of hearing the same old garbage spew out of his mouth.

So on a Sunday evening, I tossed my clothes, files, and cat into my car and left.

I think by the time a lot of us are sick and tired of being sick and tired, we just cut our losses. I did, and I've never regretted it.