Courage to Change ~ July 25 ~ People Pleasing
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Courage to Change ~ July 25 ~ People Pleasing
Courage to Change ODAT in Al-Anon II July 25
After years of letting people take advantage of me, I had built up quite a store of anger, resentment, and guilt by the time I found Al Anon. So many times I wanted to bite off my tongue after saying, “Yes,” when I really wanted to say ,”No.” Why did I continue to deny my own feelings just to gain someone’s approval.
As I worked the Al Anon program, the answer became apparent: What I lacked was courage. In the Serenity Prayer I learn that courage is granted by my Higher Power, so that is where I turned first. Then it was up to me to do my part. Was I willing to try to learn to say, “No,” when I meant no? Was I willing to accept that not everyone would be thrilled with this change? Was I willing to face the real me behind the people-pleasing image? Fed up with volunteering to be treated like a doormat, I squared my shoulders and answered, “yes.”
Today’s Reminder:
It is not always appropriate to reveal my every thought, especially when dealing with an active alcoholic. But do I make a conscious choice about what I say? And when it is appropriate, do I say what I mean and mean what I say? If not, why not? All I have to offer anyone is my own experience of the truth.
“There is a price that is too great to pay for peace. … One cannot pay the price of self-respect” Woodrow Wilson
After years of letting people take advantage of me, I had built up quite a store of anger, resentment, and guilt by the time I found Al Anon. So many times I wanted to bite off my tongue after saying, “Yes,” when I really wanted to say ,”No.” Why did I continue to deny my own feelings just to gain someone’s approval.
As I worked the Al Anon program, the answer became apparent: What I lacked was courage. In the Serenity Prayer I learn that courage is granted by my Higher Power, so that is where I turned first. Then it was up to me to do my part. Was I willing to try to learn to say, “No,” when I meant no? Was I willing to accept that not everyone would be thrilled with this change? Was I willing to face the real me behind the people-pleasing image? Fed up with volunteering to be treated like a doormat, I squared my shoulders and answered, “yes.”
Today’s Reminder:
It is not always appropriate to reveal my every thought, especially when dealing with an active alcoholic. But do I make a conscious choice about what I say? And when it is appropriate, do I say what I mean and mean what I say? If not, why not? All I have to offer anyone is my own experience of the truth.
“There is a price that is too great to pay for peace. … One cannot pay the price of self-respect” Woodrow Wilson
Recovering Nicely
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 935
My adult daughter, who can be very demanding at times, constantly takes advantage of my good nature and can be very nasty and disrepectful to me at times. For over a month, I have been giving her rides to and from work, and it is never appreciated. Instead, it is demanded. Well this morning, she calls me and "tells" me she needs to be at work at 8:30 or she will be fired. I said she should have told her boss that she had to check w/her mother, who is her ride. Told her I would pick her up. I was met with her being nasty and loud to me, told her I didn't appreciate her tone, won't tolerate being spoken to that way and to take it down a notch, especially when someone is doing her a favor. Did she? No, it only infuriated her more, she got louder and nastier. I pulled over and told her to get out of my car and walk (5 more miles) to work! I then went to work, got there early and my boss was happy! Needless to say, she called and left me a voice mail telling me that because I was "such a b**tch" she was fired. Who created this??? Certainly not me! And I certainly won't be a doormat any longer, to anyone! Thanks for this post!
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