Language of Letting Go - July 24 - Denial
Nature Girl
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Language of Letting Go - July 24 - Denial
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Denial
Denial is a powerful tool. Never underestimate its ability to cloud your vision.
Be aware that, for many reasons, we have become experts at using this tool to make reality more tolerable. We have learned well how to stop the pain caused by reality - not by changing our circumstances, but by pretending our circumstances are something other than what they are.
Do not be too hard on yourself. While one part of you was busy creating a fantasy reality, the other part went to work on accepting the truth.
Now, it is time to find courage. Face the truth. Let it sink gently in.
When we can do that, we will be moved forward.
God, give me the courage and strength to see clearly.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Denial
Denial is a powerful tool. Never underestimate its ability to cloud your vision.
Be aware that, for many reasons, we have become experts at using this tool to make reality more tolerable. We have learned well how to stop the pain caused by reality - not by changing our circumstances, but by pretending our circumstances are something other than what they are.
Do not be too hard on yourself. While one part of you was busy creating a fantasy reality, the other part went to work on accepting the truth.
Now, it is time to find courage. Face the truth. Let it sink gently in.
When we can do that, we will be moved forward.
God, give me the courage and strength to see clearly.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
For me, I think denial was necessary to give me time to process one small piece at a time. 100% reality might have been more than I could bear.
Today I have learned to acknowledge reality, to face the truth head on, and then only occasionally park something in the "denial compartment" for me to come back and revisit when I am ready and prepared, when I am surrounded by support and connect to my Higher Power who I choose to call God.
Hugs
Today I have learned to acknowledge reality, to face the truth head on, and then only occasionally park something in the "denial compartment" for me to come back and revisit when I am ready and prepared, when I am surrounded by support and connect to my Higher Power who I choose to call God.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 427
I feel like when my ad comes home from rehab then and only then will my actions speak out to me. Denial that it won't happen again. It is my biggest fear to deal with and yet I cannnot control it and I know this just not sure till she is home how I will actually DEAL with my feelings and my lessons I think I have learned here. Day by day is what I am living with now and trying hard not to worry because It isn't productive as I have been told.
StrivingToThrive
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: san diego, ca
Posts: 425
I was just thinking about this issue last night.
My son is around these days helping me out so we have been talking a bit. (carefully! as there is much I don't need to hear/deal with right now.) He was talking about how far he has come and how healthy he sees himself now.The past has been brought up though. He was talking about a period of time that was very dark for me and I guess I had blacked out a lot of it. He was talking about using/snorting heroin and I was surprised. I didn't know he had done that. Well he said, " Yes you did mom cause I said it to the counselor and you were there." I guess I had shut down then and didn't want to hear how bad he was because then it would seem so insurmountable. I was in such denial. And I can still go there. when he seems good and looks good, everything else can fade away. and then I have to be careful because it then that its easy for me to forget the problems that are still there and treat him as a non-addict child and forget my all important boundaries.:praying
Cathy
My son is around these days helping me out so we have been talking a bit. (carefully! as there is much I don't need to hear/deal with right now.) He was talking about how far he has come and how healthy he sees himself now.The past has been brought up though. He was talking about a period of time that was very dark for me and I guess I had blacked out a lot of it. He was talking about using/snorting heroin and I was surprised. I didn't know he had done that. Well he said, " Yes you did mom cause I said it to the counselor and you were there." I guess I had shut down then and didn't want to hear how bad he was because then it would seem so insurmountable. I was in such denial. And I can still go there. when he seems good and looks good, everything else can fade away. and then I have to be careful because it then that its easy for me to forget the problems that are still there and treat him as a non-addict child and forget my all important boundaries.:praying
Cathy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 718
Wow
[QUOTE=Ann;1845485]For me, I think denial was necessary to give me time to process one small piece at a time. 100% reality might have been more than I could bear.
Ann.. Thanks. You continue to amaze me. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and helping me to cope. I only hope that someday, I can shre my learned strength and help someone else.
HUGS
Ann.. Thanks. You continue to amaze me. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and helping me to cope. I only hope that someday, I can shre my learned strength and help someone else.
HUGS
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