TryingToLetGod

Hi, everyone. A few weeks back I posted a thread when my daughter 18 yr old daughter came home from a date very intoxicated and high on prescription drugs. The following day, she went to work and and hasn't come home since. Just as a quick recap, she had been dating a man that was older, by almost 7 years and her dad and I were concerned. We felt like it was asking for trouble, but unfortunately she's 18 and our control was limited. We set clear rules regarding a curfew and asked her to please take the relationship slowly. She resented it and kept pushing the envelope by coming home late. It wasn't until the night of my birthday, that she came home wasted and incoherrent. We did not yell at her, we really didn't discuss much. It's not like it would have been effective. I did take her cell phone (it's on my account) away from her. She has consistently refused to speak to us or let us know where she is. She called me once about 10 days ago, really late at night, and she was either drinking or high or both. She was in hysterics, and crying, saying she missed her 4 sisters and she miss me and her dad. She kept saying she was sorry, and that she loved us. She wouldn't tell me where she was. I have been overwhelmed with so many different emotions, from sadness and hurt, to just plain anger. I've been worried, and spent most nights tossing and turning ang jumping everytime the phone rang or the dog barked at someone outside. I was so afraid that I would get a call or visit from the police, telling me she had been hurt or worse. I wanted to find her and drag her home, and I wanted to beat the living *%&! out of her boyfriend. I just knew it wouldn't make anything better.

Until today today, I had only spoken to her once since the beginning of this ordeal. This morning she called out of the blue. She was upset, but not hysterical like the last time. I was not prepared for what she said, and I am still reeling. Her boyfriend committed suicide last night. He ran his car into an interstate overpass, steel reinforced concrete support . Supposedly he was intoxicated, and had been depressed and despondent. She said that she had spoken to him several times yesterday and was trying to reason with him. He was having problems at his job and felt as though his life was falling apart. She said she tried but she couldn't talk him out of it.

She still didn't tell me where she was living, but she did give me her phone #, and I reassurred her that her family loves her and wants to help her. I told her how sad I was for him and his family, and at the same time, grateful to God that she was okay and not in the car with him.

Last night, I was outside on the back porch and I heard sirens. We live in a rural area on the South Side of the city, and I remember thinking there were alot of them. Today I found out this happened a mile from our home, and the sirens I heard were for for him. I have been sickened and disturbed by this all day. I new this man was troubled. Why else would he be giving an 18 yr old girl drugs and alcohol. But, I had no idea just how much, and I am sorry beyond words for his family. These behaviors are so destructive to so many other people than just the offender. His family will never be the same, and he threw away the rest of his life. For the first time since this whole thing started, I had compassion for him. In some ways I am ashamed that I was not able to pray for him before today. He had so many opportunities, he only had one more year before graduating from college.

My prayer is that some good can come out of this tragedy. I am so hoping my daughter will see what a dangerous road she has been travelling down. That the freedom she has to be on her own is also a responsibility, and that life can change forever in a heartbeat. That drugs and alcohol can never solve any of our problems and when we choose to use them instead of working through life's painful times, we create even more potential for disaster. I am praying that she will reach out and let her family love her and encourage her to get help. She needs it now more than ever. I am praying that this is a great and undeniable wake up call for her and anyone else in their circle of friends who is locking themselves into their own prison cell of substance abuse.

I would like to ask everyone who reads this to do the same. They can resist our words.....BUT, they cannot resist our prayers!

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

peaceteach

Prayers for your family and his. What a tragic ending. I hope your daughter returns home. Maybe you could stick around and do more reading here about loving an addicted child. I have found it very helpful when I realized my son was taking drugs.

Done_With_It

Oh my gosh!~ I am really glad your daughter was not in the car also.
I hope this is her time also.. Many prayers going out for all involved..

(((TTLG))))

TryingToLetGod

Thank you! Yes, I am in need of as much information as I can get my hands on. I want to do the right thing for her sake. She has to be the one to want it, but I want to be prepared. It's a fine line we walk, and regardless of what our children do, or how bad their choices, they are our children, and we love them. That is my deepest hurt for this young mans' family. Their lives have been changed forever, and this loss has to be overwhelming.

Thank you again, for your prayers!

Barbara52

You and your daughter have my continuing prayers. What a tragedy. I will also pray for the man's family.

NeedHappiness

Praying for you and that your daughter comes back home. Also praying for the boyfriends family. What a tragedy!

sadandhopeless

Thank GOD your daughter is safe. She is still a child even though of legal age. Try to speak to he about getting help now. She is probably so sad by this mans death. She needs you and your husband. All you can do is be there for her.

Stick around here there is grea support and always an ear to listen.