RollerDerbyGirl

God,

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
The courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference

Did I get it right? Well, today I am accepting the fact that I'm having a sh*t day and that I cannot change that fact. Well, I mean...I can try. But maybe I should just fully give in to it and work on my positive thinking tomorrow when I wake up.

I'm having one of those days where a few ugly things happened that just really set me off, a disagreement with a friend, a package that has been missing for a month, and just overall feeling alienated from a lot of friends and family. That is one of the pitfalls of moving a lot.

I want to be strong. I want to recover. I want to have healthy relationships in my life. But today...I HATE feeling so lonely and being scared that I'm doomed to feel this way for a loong time, I HATE that I have to worked so damn hard to be content and healthy, and just want to tell some people to F*ck off. Sorry about my language. I am experiencing all of this anger today and can't exactly put my finger on it. And I'm feeling sorry for myself, which makes me feel even worse, guilty and pathetic. The fact that I felt so strong and fearless not but a couple of days ago, well it just confounds me. It's so confusing. Because it means that reality is just your perception of it and I find that a little unsettling.

I could go on and on, but I just needed a quick venting session before facing the rest of the world today. Thanks for listening.

peaceteach

((RollerDG))

I hear you, sweetie. Venting is a very positive and powerful self-help move. You are doing great. I have had the "got it-lost it" thing before. It'll come again, and you are right. Tomorrow is another day. When those BAD days come, I have learned what you said, to just accept that that particular day sucks, and try and do something a little self-nurturing to nurse my wounds. I'm glad you came here to let it out. Sending hugs

GiveLove

Hugs to you, RDG!

Long ago, I used to have five bad days, then one good, five bad, one good.

Then after a while working on things, I noticed I would have
two bad days, one good. Two bad, one good.

Few years later, writing in my journal, I'd have three good days, one bad, three good, one bad.

Nowadays, I have fifty good days, one bad. A hundred good days, one bad.

We never completely get rid of the days like you're having. It's just a progression.......we just keep walking toward the things and the relationships you WANT in life, and those small steps will start turning the percentages around for you too.

I know a coach who says, "If you want to get a better life, just pick one small thing, and do it differently tomorrow." Next week, pick another one. Work on improving relationships with one family member at a time, in tiny tiny steps. Step away from friends that you have lots of conflicts with. Start painting your toes every Friday night. Anything.

You don't have to have a bad life if you don't want one.

Today: let yourself vent, then wake up tomorrow and maybe try doing one thing differently.

RollerDerbyGirl

Great advice. I will make some changes, even if just one for tomorrow. I will wake up earlier and walk the peach. I will express gratitude. I will go back to journaling. I will call that friend that I had the disagreement with and try to smooth things over.

I knew I would feel better if I came here. THANKS.