Is an intervention the answer?

Old 07-21-2008, 11:04 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2
Is an intervention the answer?

I am a first time visitor to sober recovery and would appreciate any advice on my situation. My AH has been drinking heavily for 10 years. His drinking has put a tremendous strain on our marriage to the point where we separated for six months. My husband assured me that he would get help and I foolishly let him move back home before seeing any results. He saw a therapist that specializes in alcoholism for a few months and when the therapist suggested rehab my husband bailed.

During our separation, my mother-in-law wanted to know why I asked my husband to leave our house. When I told her she said in disbelief "Are you sure he's an alcoholic?" I explained that my husband said he drinks between 10-12 beers daily and I'm pretty sure that qualifies as being alcoholic! She said she doesn't believe he drinks that much. I was livid when she said she didn't believe it! I had to really bite my tongue not to say anything I would regret.

We recently applied for an increase in our life insurance and my husband was denied coverage based on elevated liver function tests, which led him to go and see his doctor. His doctor told him point blank that he must stop drinking alcohol. He stated that if he didn't stop drinking that in 5 years there would be no turning back and he will die a very painful dealth from liver disease. Long story short...he had a battery of tests and has been diagnosed with sarcoidosis. We see a pulmonary specialist tomorrow!

My in-laws have recently accepted the fact that their son is an alcoholic and have offered to assist me with an intervention. I feel that an intervention could work especially if his parents participate. Has anyone reading this had any experience with an intervention?

Being separated from his wife and children for six months did not motivate my husband to seek recovery nor has his recent health scare. Is it worth the time, effort, and expense of hiring a professional to try an intervention?
EvertheSame is offline  
Old 07-22-2008, 12:22 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
 
laurie6781's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Just like any program for the Alcoholic, in my 27+ years of sobriety, the only time I have seen or read of an intervention working is when the Alcoholic has reached his/her bottom and wants sobriety more than King Alcohol.

If he's not ready, no I do not believe Intervention will work. Just remember, if you do an intervention, and he agrees to go to rehab it is still no guarantee that he will remain sober. He has to WANT sobriety more than he wants to drink.

J M H O

Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing, we really do care very much. Have you checked out Alanon for YOU? It can be a great help in deciding what kind of life YOU want for YOU. Alanon is also very helpful in teaching us how to figure out our own personal Boundaries, and of course there is The 3 C's:

I didn't CAUSE it,

I can't CONTROL it, and

I can't CURE it.

Love and hugs,
laurie6781 is offline  
Old 07-22-2008, 01:45 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Taking5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
I have seen interventions work. You are trying to "create" their bottom for them by drawing out and expediting the consequences of their drinking. If you do this by all means hire a professional. There must be consequences for this to work - ie lose you wife, your job, your relationship with your family (mom & dad too) etc.

If mom & dad are going to cave and let him live and drink with them, that is probably what he will do. Even then an intervention may be OK, if for no other reason than to get him out of your house.

Tough call but I see no downside. I'd at least try.

Last edited by Taking5; 07-22-2008 at 01:45 AM. Reason: spelling
Taking5 is offline  
Old 07-22-2008, 01:53 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
 
Cathy31's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
I think it's worth a try - and of course you need to make clear consequences of no rehab and you need to follow through on those consequences, are you trying al-anon by the way, I'm starting it this week I think it's essential and the men and women there really seem to be coping well with the A's in their lives and more importantlhy their own lives...

Cathy31
x
Cathy31 is offline  
Old 07-22-2008, 07:04 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 2
Thanks for replying to my post. I did try Alanon several years ago...perhaps it's time to give it another shot.
EvertheSame is offline  
Old 07-22-2008, 07:39 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
 
Cathy31's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Originally Posted by EvertheSame View Post
Thanks for replying to my post. I did try Alanon several years ago...perhaps it's time to give it another shot.
Good idea! Let us know how you get on!

Cathy31
x
Cathy31 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:12 AM.