marieg25

hi.. i am new to this site and looking for help. i am a 25 year old female.I found out a few weeks ago my boyfriend of six years is a opoid addict. It started about 4 months ago with popping a few vicodin daily then went on to snorting oxycotin and heroin and finally for about 2 weeks he began injecting heroin.he knew it was becoming a problem and he stopped everything and went through the withdrawls and took something called suboxene to help . Now he is clean and seeing an addiction specialist and a psychologist. I just am so blown away by all of this i dont know what to do with myself!! i had no idea!! We were just about to get engaged and move in together and then i find this out! i want to forgive him, but i am having such a hard time with it. i never in a million years would have expected this from him!! I love him and i cant imagine my life without him but i also dont know if i can get over this. i dont want to be looking over my shoulder my whole life. im soooo angry at him one minute and the next minute im ok and saying we will get through this together . i tried taking time away from him( that lasted a week) but i miss him and wind up back with him. i dont know im just very confused and wanted to see if anyone could relate. thanks

11d

Welcome....You will find so much so support here. I am 41 and married almost 18 years with 3 kids. I found out he was using IV Fentanyl (Opiate) for 2 years and prior to that is was Lortabs. I am a RN and I NEVER knew. I know exactly what you are saying. First you have to know that you did not cause it, you can't control it and you cannot cure it. Your recovery in this, is focusing on yourself. You are not married and I assume you do not have any kids. How do you want your life to be? What kind of life do you want for your kids? He is an addict and will ALWAYS be an addict. It is a terrible disease. Read the stickies. Listen to others that are walking or have walked the same path as you. I married my RAH when I was 23. If I knew then what I knew now.....I would not have married him. It is so hard after all this time and with kids. You are so young and have so much life ahead of you.

endzoner

welcome to SR Marie.. this is a great place and many people can relate to what your going tho , I personally am a recovering Alki .. but still an addiction . I'd suggest you attend Alanon to help you cope with the situation and they are a great network of support .Glad your here! peace be with you "Z

lostparent

Hello no advice just wanted to welcome you to SR.

helpus

Welcome Marieg, I'm sorry for what you are going through. Read the stickies at the top of the page, they are very helpful. Don't be afraid to ask questions here or just plain vent. My 22yr old daughter is a herion addict. She has been clean for about 14 months. It has been a long haul and learning experience for our whole family. I hope to see you around.

Abundance

Hi and welcome to SR

I can relate to what you are saying..... and how you are feeling is no surprise.

About having to look over your shoulder your whole life... I don't know... that is a choice regardless right?

Is your abf seeking help? In a treatment or recovery plan?

I recommend that you think of some short term things right now... like what are your boundaries? What happens if he picks up again and is in active addiction then what?

When I had just found out I too was going through all of the emotions from angry to sad to compassion to angry to sad.. it was changing throughout the day sometimes. It was madness.

SO... anywho.... I relate and I can tell you it's not going to be easy.... but so far I find recovery much kinder than addiction......

((((hugs)))) xxoox

hope213

welcome to S.R. there is so much support here for you. there is so much info here that will help you decided what is best for you & what you want & need for you. all of us have an addict we love & are all in the same boat. read around. i am glad he is trying to get help for himself. my son has been an addict for for 20yrs. remember he has to wortk his on program. there is nothing u can do for him take care of yourself & keep coming back. prayers for u both.

Kathy123

Hi - I am new here too. Just been exploring the site for a few days. I am 37 and discovered in March my AH ( or maybe RAH ? 7 days sober ) has been using for many, many years - I was CLUELESS. If I knew what I know now - its tough to say but i definately do not think I would have invested so much of myself. I have four little kids with the help of many years of fertility treatments and now no career. Our livelihood now depends on an opiod addict - this is not a good position to be in. It would have been nice to know my H was an addict before we took on all this responsiblity. Now, it seems I have 5 kids not 4.
After much self reflection, Al Anon, therapy, meetings, readings etc. I know I must work on my recovery. I am still trying to figure out what about my psyche has allowed this in my life. Determining my boundaries and sticking to them isn't easy.
I can totally relate to your feelings of love and anger. I wish you well. Like 11d said Addiction is a terrible disease without a cure. What quality of life would like?
Just curious, is he still taking suboxone?

marieg25

thanks for your story kathy123.. i cant even imagine going through this and having 4 kids to take care of. im having such a tough time dealing and its just me!! i give u sooo much credit!! yes he is still on the suboxene he tried going off it all at once and then the addiction doctor he is seeing told him he has to wean himself off of it graudually. but i heard u withdrawl from suboxene also!! i dont know this is a whole other world im learning about! good luck to you and your family though this time