londonvanpelt

My life is falling apart. I am trying to not go into the self-pity mode, but I think for a normal person I am under too much stress for one person to handle. I was working at a company where there was a lot of drinking, drugging, and pornography going on. The rules for procedures changed every day. I thought I was losing my mind. My boss looked like he was on drugs and expected me to do everything for him. The responsibilities bestowed upon me were ridiculous. I finally drew a line of what I would accept. Then I drew a boundary with another employee addicted to painkillers to stop calling me honey and to call me by my name. He did not like that at all. I had papers thrown in my face because of it. I was physically getting sick with heartburn and high blood pressure. My job was to do the marketing for the company. Every single project I did had to be approved by him. One of the directors in a different department went behind my back and scheduled a marketing activity. I went to my boss and he told me thatthe director made the mess and I needed to clean it up. He also told me that I need to seek approval for everything I did. I felt so hopeless working there. I was fired and was so relieved to get away from all of it. Now I am without employment and a single mom struggling to make ends meet. My father and brother are addicts and are slowly dying. My Mom was diagnosed with cancer today. I try to look at the good, but it is very difficult right now. I can't afford to go anywhere, so I am stuck at home. If I don't get another job soon, then I will be up a creek. I am hoping and praying God has another plan in place for my life that will be better, but I am having a hard time believing this. I thought about cleaning apts in the area, but am afraid I might be placing myself in a dangerous situation if someone is a predator. I am really at a loss. I keep praying for some type of light at the end of the tunnel. Has anyone ever had a boss that pulled this stuff?

Bernadette

heya London--
wow tough times!
if you were "director of marketing" for this company then that is what you should put on a resume. If you get called by another employer and they ask why you left tell them: the company was run rather chaotically and didn't suit your personality, because not enough "got done!"

Also, do you wish to sue for harrassment? Or unlawful termination? Maybe talk to a lawyer.

Put together the best resume you can. Don't sell yourself short.

As far as your brother and father my heart goes out to you. Stick around here and keep reading, lots of wisdom here for dealing with alcoholics/addicts.

Take it one day at a time. Don't awfulize the future - we simply cannot know the future so try try try to think positive!!

Welcome!!
Peace,
B.

sadandhopeless

Do what ever you have to weather clean house or what ever - are you able to collect unemployment insurance? Please check into that. I can imagine that the company you described even exists? that is insane.

I am so sorry for your mother. i will say a prayer and hope she is ok.

Keep posting - you need support - you are not alone here.

londonvanpelt

Thank you so much for your kind words and support. I have applied for unemployment. I have an appointment Monday for an interview with a recruiter. I am in a mountain of debt since I am supporting my daughter without child support. I can't even see the light at the end of the tunnel for this one. I was thinking about working two jobs to climb out of debt, but I don't want my daughter to suffer neglect as it is very unhealthy to her development. She goes to Alateen which helps her more than I thought it ever would. I am so grateful for Alanon and Alateen. Thank you all for your support. I am so very grateful to have found this message board.

FormerDoormat

You certainly have a lot on your plate. Perhaps you could join a cleaning service as a temporary measure, one where they send people in teams to clean houses. That way you won't feel uneasy about your safety. If you're concerned about your safety in general, a good book to help you overcome your fears is "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. It's a fabulous, informative read. In fact, I just recently posted three threads with excerpts from his book.

Since you're having a hard time financially, pick up a copy at your local library for free. If they don't currently have a copy, you can request one.

Welcome to the forum.

Lilyflower

Hi London!

Keep your chin up, you have so much on your plate right now, and my heart and prayers go out to you and your mum. I hope things get better for her and you.

As far as your financial situation, if you are currently unemployed, you are eligable to apply for benefits, council tax, housing. Don't be embarrassed to apply for these, that is what they were originally there for, unfortunately there is a stigma attached to being on benefits nowadays as so many abuse them, but you are eligable so get what you are entitled to.

Also, have you looked into your tax credits? You may already receive these being a single working mum (just like me!!) but you should notify them that your working situation has changed as the amount you receive should go up. (you may get a higher rate due to your work entitlement being a lot lower).

I understand it is hard on your own. My daughter is 10yrs old, I have a mound of debt and get a measley £10 a week child support from her dad. But it can be done! If your debts are unsecured, and total £15K or more, you will qualify for an IVA (set up by the government to help get people out of debt), alternatively try to find a company that can offer you a debt management scheme. Personally I am with Gregory Pennington, who liase with debtors and manage my debt accounts on my behalf.

That job sounded awful! You deserve better than that! Post your CV on line to browse a much larger job area. You can turn things around, believe in yourself!

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx