chrisea

It's been over 3 yrs since last xabf left... He definetly was always looking for a replacement, some one who could afford more booze for him...

I read this book review for "how to be single" Liz Tuccillio. This loose, episodic novel centers on a group of five single, professional women in their late 30s and 40s who have started to find dating in NY an impossible task: "just waiting for the f***ing needle-in-a-haystack guy who we're going to love, who's going to happen to love us, who we're going to meet just at the time when we're both available and living in the same city."


Since the book is to be entitled How to Be Single, you almost feel part of the book's creation. Julie and her close girlfriends bravely battle cellulite, divorce statistics, dead cats, artificial insemination and the underlying paranoia that, by being choosy, you'll realize too late that all the good men are already taken.

Additional dilemmas include: whether paying for sex is bad if a woman does it; whether you should quit your job to date full-time; and -- of course whether the woman should ever call the man? (The answer: "Don't call him, don't call him, don't call him.")

I won't spoil the ending, but it might have something to do with Iceland's geothermal spas, and discovering your inner Viking. (Sounds to me that it has to do with finding yourself)

Someday I may borrow the book from the library or get it from a used book site.

I have realized that I was part of the not so choosy women & got stuck with the guys that were passed over, kicked to the curb, & recycled. But thank goodness I even realized. I think, there just aren't enough of the haystack men to begin with.

Barbara52

???? Why in the world would anyone do this? Is there some underlying assumption that we are all independntly wealthy or are only working til we find a man to support us? I call BS on this.


This reaks of passivity to me. If I want to call someone, I will call them. I don't play ganmes in relationships and I don't wait for someone to tak ethe first step if I am interested.

Perhaps I shouldn't judge a book so quickly but the very fact that the first comment I quoted is in the book means I will never read it.

Jazzman

I've been single for a few years and after going on a couple dozen "first dates" decided to take myself out of the game for a while. Not that I don't want to meet women, just that I'm sitting out a few innings for lack of interest in "the game".

However, if a nice lady asked me if I wanted to do lunch some time, I certainly would. I hope not all women think the man should make the first call because they could be missing a lot of nice guys that are just sitting out a few innings.

needtolearn

Okay, I have a couple of thoughts:

For one, I have to 'fess up to being that single that fears that being choosy=left out in the cold. I guess I secretly feared/suspected that being super choosy and enjoying being alone was a feminist fairytale that didn't play out in the "real world".

Which leads me to the possible ending of finding your inner viking. Okay, I get that, I get that we have to be happy and strong within ourselves but my spiritual believes dictate that it's the natural order of things to be partnered. Now, I'm not saying settle for any dude at any cost, but the idea of being a "happy and alone" single forever appeals to me about as much as pile of turd. I can do alone, I can be happy for the moment but I really don't want to do this forever. I just don't think people are meant to go through this world unpartnered.

Last, when I read "He's Just Not That Into You", I totally agreed with what Greg the author said. He says "Let the guy do the heavy lifting. If he's into you, he's calling you, and nothing is keeping him away. If he doesn't want to call you, he's just not that into you". It's really not that deep. I'll call a dude, but I like him to do most of the calling. Then, I don't have to worry if he wants to talk to me, cause he's doing the calling.