hadenoughnow

That's the sound of me screaming. My divorce is going to be final in the next couple of weeks (the 6 month waiting period ended on the 8th) and the STBX AH is being a royal PITA. In his typical passive agressive way he is making things difficult by refusing to cooperate with seperating certain things, namely our car/house ins and joint checking account (the ins company won't do anything till the divorce is final). He insists on continuing to use the checking account and refuses to go to the bank to remove my name (the bank insists that we both have to go to sign to get my name off). Now this is not the end of the world but I still have online access to the account and a large health savings account reimbursement that should have been mailed to me was deposited into the account instead. I checked with the bank that made the deposit first then went online and confirmed that the money was in the "joint" account. I call AH to tell him I am transferring MY money into MY account he goes online, confirms that the deposit was made then flips out, screaming that I am invading his privacy and I have probably been stealing his money all along etc (he is horrible with money and has been borrowing from his 401k to support his "lifestyle"). I simply tell him that it is HIS choice to continue to refuse to cooperate and use the account instead of closing it and if he thinks he can stop me or do anything from removing money that is mine from an account with my name on it he is crazy. I calmly ask him if he REALLY thinks I am just supposed to let him keep the money for my WAY over due dental work and he says "no but you are invading my privacy, blah, blah blah". Maybe he will finally agree to remove me from the account now but I will probably end up needing a court order. I am so sick of all the verbal abuse I get every time I have to discuss "business" with him (he won't get an attorney, just another passive agressive abuse tactic and if I refuse to have contact with him then I risk looking "uncooperative" to the court).

I just can't wait until everything is final and my contact with him is reduced to almost nothing (we don't argue over our son since I have custody and he does not want to lose the little amount of visitation he has).

Chrysalis123

Oh boy, have I been where you are now. My divorce finalized 2 weeks ago today and my XAH pulled very similar stunts and it sure was an exercise in serenity seeking for me. Do you have a lawyer? I ask because it helped me tremendously to have business with XAH handled through them. It was expensive but worth it.

My good thoughts and prayers are being sent your way.

CatsPajamas

After the big scream, remember to just breathe. In a few more weeks this will be over and you can start your new life.

I went thru something similar with my ex... joint money in a joint acct that just wouldn't work itself out. I opened my own account and kept very good records about money that I transfered. We had $50k sitting in an account earning some interest for a few months before it was ALL to be used to pay taxes. I got word that my ex might be leaving the country,and might decide to take some or all of that money, so I sat with the banker and opened another account. We named the account TAXES DUE, and I transfered all of that money into the new account. I had the records from the banker so it was all above board. Needless to say my ex blew a gasket when he found out.

It all worked out in the end, but there was a fair amount of drama involved.

I really do understand what you're going thru... and I can tell you that life can be much better on the other side.

hadenoughnow

Thanks, I do have an attorney but because he does not have one it complicates things. Attorneys like to talk to other attorneys not crazy ex's (who can blame them?) so they and the court send him correspondence then he calls me and wants me to explain it to him (I usually tell him to get a lawyer and hang up). I really wish he did have an attorney because then someone impartial would counsel him that harassing me and acting like an idiot is going to get him in trouble and he probably would stop.

He is threatening to show up at the final hearing and "have his say", I actually hope he does and makes an ass out of himself. I am sure that since he did not answer the divorce complaint and didn't show up for the custody meeting the judge really wants to hear him whine. I know that he is going to get assessed for child support and the judge we have been assigned does not tolerate nonsense.

Chrysalis123

My husband didn't have an attorney either and actually used up more attorney time than I did. Ran into the same issues as you as my lawyer got sick of dealing with him too. So my lawyer hired a mediator that XAH had to pay for..very expensive....and that changed his tune some.

This will get better for you and the drama will pass. It is SOOOOOOO much better on the other side.

Peace to you.

hadenoughnow

Thanks, my attorney called today with a court date, 7/22! woohoo!

The ex is pulling out all the stops with game playing too, I get the mail today and there is what looks like a bill from the SA counseling center he was going to a year ago. If he is serious about getting help I'm happy for him but I suspect in that alternate universe he lives in that a counseling visit will convince the judge to stop the divorce (ha ha).

I am going to write CHANGE YOUR ADDRESS on it before he comes by sunday to pick our son up.