bruce24

Hiya,

I stumbled upon these forums in search of some support for my recovery from marijuana. I must say right off the top after reading alot of the stories on here I was very encouraged to see the positive feedback and support everyone has here. I hope I can be someone who overcomes my addiction and can help support others like myself down the road.

Since this isn't my first time trying to "kick the habit", I needed to look for a new way to approach it this time around and opening up about it in a private forum online seems to be a good place to start.

A little about me.. I am a 24 year old male who has been struggling with addiction for over 4 years now and have seen drastic changes in my life during this. I've gained at my lowest of times over 40 pounds, and have seen everything about myself change. There once was a day when I was a carefree, outgoing, and genuinely happy person... but those days seem distant right now. I have turned into a self-conscious, self-centered, paranoid, home body who has allowed myself to smoke myself into depression night in and night out. Marijuana was once a recreational drug when I used it in social parties on the rarest of occasions. But it has turned into something I have lied and hid from the people that care the most about me for over 4 years now. It has tarnished relationships and took any wind out my sails that I had, and has left me to where I am today (3rd day of recovery).

I have accepted my past and my mistakes I have made, and am ready to move forward. I have completely rid my house of anything I associate with marijuana including that last quarter ounce I chucked reluctantly into the garbage. I feel like I have started to make changes in my life like many of you advise to prevent relapsing but I still have in the back of my head that I could slip up again and fall right back to where I started.

I would appreciate any support and look forward to getting to know others who have similar addiction problems and hope I can help support someone else as well.

Thanks for reading,
Bruce

CarolD

Welcome to our recovery community .

Congratulations on deciding marijuana is
causing you harm.

Alcohol l slid me into addiction
AA brought me into recovery.

Good to see you here with us...

bruce24

Thank you Carol for the warm welcome. Although I do believe that was your second welcome you have given me tonight! (New member welcome).

While marijuana is my number one addiction I have had problems with alcohol in the past. I see alot of similarities in the two and hope to overcome drugs altogether.

What do you do to prevent yourself from going back to alcohol when you feel tempted? Have you just overcome it altogether now?

Cheers,
Bruce

CarolD

...Yes.....but this reply is more personal

When I decided that my alcoholic depression
was too painful....I began attending AA.

Fortunately...my depression was situational
and around two months of sobriety it lifted.
This is not true for everyone...
it depends on the type of depression... medically diagnosed.

To stay sober...and enjoy my new life....
I do daily use God and the 12 Steps of AA.

...It sounds so easy and it's certainly not been
so for me. Years of hard work have paid off
in many wonderful unexpected ways.

Think of recovery as a way to have a productive
healthy future ...I suggest you make that your goal.

Cathy31

Hi Bruce! Welcome! Just what Carol said - I use God and the 12 steps daily and it has worked miracles in my life. I have no desire to drink or use or abuse myself anymore. I have accepted that I am an alcoholic/addict and I have surrendered. Alcohol had me licked! I hope to never get in the ring with it again.

For me, going to meetings (AA or NA) has been essential as has working the 12 step program.

Great to see you here!


Cathy31
x

bruce24

Thanks for the support Cathy & Carol!

Carol: Thanks for the advice, I think I've set myself up to be productive. I've started a fitness program and have tried to start over building new relationships that are healthy ones instead. It's not easy though! I feel better already and I think your right if I just keep busy doing new and healthy things the rest should take care of itself. I'm glad to hear your story and am really encouraged by your positive outlook on addiction. Curse my addictive personality...I wont let it get the better of me no mo'!


Cathy: Thanks for the advice, I will look at the 12 step program as well as it is not something I had really thought of trying. As for meetings around here, I am from Vancouver Canada and well..smoking marijuana is regarded as being socially acceptable in many more situations than you would imagine. Congrats on kicking your addiction and I hope I can say the same thing 2 years from now!

Cheers,
Bruce

Jersey Nonny

Welcome, Bruce. I only tried pot a couple of times to show my kids what a "cool parent" I was. Being a daily drunk for many years was definitely not cool, and I have managed to stay sober for the past 28 years through the 12-Step Program of AA.

Many years ago, I was taking my daughter and addict son-in-law to AA and NA meetings. On the way home one night, I mentioned I felt comfortable at either type of meeting...a drug is a drug, even though my drug of choice was alcohol. This struck a chord with my daughter, who apparently had a 20-year addiction to pot since the age of 13...a fact I was unaware of, probably because I had been too caught up in my own alcoholism.

My daughter has been clean and sober for the past 12 years through NA. I would highly recommend it to you.

Rella927

Bruce Welcome to SR! Glad that you found us!

There is a lot of support here as you see from the post's above!

Please keep posting! Keep going on your journey!

bruce24

Thanks Jersey, I never really thought of going to AA meetings but really that does make alot of sense. A drug is a drug and I have abused it and need support from others who can relate to what I am going through. Although these forums seem to be an awful lot like a forever going meeting that just doesn't end. The support here is something I would of never expected to find on an online forum. It is really remarkable and thanks for the words of encouragement!

Rella: Thanks for welcoming me to the community! I will keep posting and hope to move forward everyday... Besides today is day 4 and I don't think I ever went this long before without taking a puff.

Bruce

adore79

Hi and welcome.

LogCabin

Welcome Bruce!

Going to meetings is good for those of us who isolate. It is a great way to be with people who understand, and care.

I was a pot smoker for many years. I finally got bored with it. It is a major demotivator. I love being alive, and not fearful of everything!

Time helps most of all. Changing the environment that you used in is good too, and replacing the time spent on smoking with other things. Reading, writing, walking, singing, chewing gun, exercise, yoga, talking on the phone, and even the simple act of making a nice cup of relaxing tea does wonders.

Think of a dream you have always wanted to do..like photography, or art. Going to museums, and other places AND do it! One step at a time, and keep it simple.

And I have to add that my Higher Power is not a god. I have a HP that makes great sense to me, and I am comfortable with my concept of what it is. And I am able to hear the messages of the people who do have a HP that thinks, and talks to them, without it bothering me anymore. There is always a way to belong in the groups.

Hevyn

Hi Bruce - sorry I didn't see this before. It's so sad & confusing when something we've used for fun & relaxation ends up causing us so much pain. I'm an alcoholic, and in the beginning of my drinking career it was so much fun and I had a lovely life. Decades later (yeah, I could be your mother...) it turned on me in a way I never imagined. "Progressive disease" - that's an understatement! I ended up drinking 24/7 and, as you've experienced, it was no longer anything but a living hell. I was isolated, frightened, sick, immobilized, incapable of pulling myself out of the hole I'd dug. I found SR searching for health problems of alcoholics. I was hooked right away, even though it took me awhile to get the courage to pour my last beer down the drain. Your poison of choice is pot, the substance that is supposed to be so "harmless" and socially acceptable to most - so it's all that much harder to face the facts. You've acknowledged that it's made you miserable. Be happy you are willing to raise yourself up out of this! You will do it, and we'll be here to help. Love, Joanie

bruce24

Thanks alot Joanie!! That was really nice to hear you say that!

I'm just taking it a day at a time and I'm determined to make my life better and hopefully be a role model for others while I go through this (and thereafter). Life's to short for this addiction and I want the few people around me that truly love me to get the love back that they have been giving me for so long that I have seemingly neglected.

I admire what you have overcome as I wouldn't say I was ever an alcoholic but there was a time where I was drinking 6 days a week and equally or more drinks per day. I think alcohol would be harder to quit just based on its accessibility and the fact it is 'legal' and can be bought anywhere (although here in BC it is very easy to get weed as you may or may not of heard)

Thanks again for the encouragement and I'm here for the long haul and I would never bet against me to get through this!!!

:ghug3
Bruce

dancinggirl

Welcome Bruce! I live in Ontario and I know how easy and socially acceptable it seems to be to smoke pot. However, as you know, drugs of choice that seem socially acceptable are sometimes hardest for us to acknowledge as a problem...something that we turn to for help getting through daily life. For me, it's booze. I'm on day three and have see-sawed all day through getting to day four. But I will get to day four.
Please post often and feel welcomed! These people are helping me tremendously!!!

SoBearish

Hey Bruce - I kicked the weed after 15 years of daily smoking. I NEVER thought I could do it. The good news is it gets sooo much easier the longer you go without. I found the first 5 days were the worst. I'm 7+ months free of the weed now and don't miss it a bit.

One of the tricks I used was to have a cigar now and then. I guess part of me missed the actual smoking exercise itself (long deep breaths). This is obviously NOT a good idea if you have a tabacco addiction but I've never touched cigaretts.

I wish i could say giving up the booze has been as easy. Although I'm drinking less than when I smoked I can only seem to go 5 days before I hit the bottle again... sigh

Anyway good luck and welcome!!

bruce24

dancinggirl keep going like everyone has said it does seem to get easier the longer you go. You have your moments but just stay strong and keep busy doing things other than what your used to. Thanks for the welcome and hello to a fellow Canadian!

SoBearish, thanks for the words of encouragement, I havent smoked cigarettes either before so that idea of having a cigar now and again when I'm really struggling is not such a bad idea. I too found relaxation in those deep breaths, and that would help in a time where I think I may want to smoke up again. I know you can overcome your alcohol addiction if you have already kicked the weed addiction! It is in you just find your strength and stick to it!! Wishing you best of luck on your journey as well.

Bruce

sct

Welcome Bruce

I know that I've found a lot of help and support in Narcotics Anonymous, it's how I got clean, and how I stay clean- for today

British Columbia NA meeting search This might help... there are also several online groups, which are great for extra support, but I find that I get much much more out of face to face meetings.

Time2Surrender

Welcome aboard Bruce.