My sister is terminal and it is now just a death watch
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 5
My sister is terminal and it is now just a death watch
I am here asking for advice and help about my sister. I feel she is now terminal and has weeks to live because of her chronic alcoholism. She is 47.
Some history:
My sister started drinking at 15 years of age. During her teenage years everyone around her chalked her drinking up to 'sowing some wild oats'. She received her first DWI that we know about in her early 20s. I am sure she had more then one but she is very secretive about her life. I also know whe was in jail for a while on the DWI but do not know for how long. She has been married 3 times and the last time to another alcoholic. It was a destructive and violent relationship. After her marriage ended she went to live in an isolated community in Alaska. An alcoholic's paradise. She isolated herself from all family. We would rarely here from her with the exception an occasional drunken phone call. She liked to get on the phone when she had 4 or 5 glasses of wine. As the phone call progressed she would start becoming sloppily sentimental and ramble on and on until she became unintelligible and somtimes would pass out while on the phone.
She is the type of alcoholic who always managed to hold a full time job and then once off work she would drink until she passes out at home every night. She drinks more than any human being I have ever seen.
While my other sister was dying of cancer she hardly ever even called her or offered support.
About a year ago she started calling my sister in Seattle talking of suicide and sounding so out of it that my sister thought she was dying and flew up to Alaska to get her and bring her to my mothers home. From my sisters report her apartment was a hell hole filled with empty booze bottles, trash and unopened boxed of all kinds of products from home shopping channels.
Once at my moms she took over my mothers bed and for the most part laid in bed drinking. She was belligerent and downright mean to my mother even though my mom who lives on a fixed income and is almost 70 was sleeping on the floor of her own house. Things reached crisis level when my sister started to have trouble breathing and went to a clinic.
I knew my sister would never admit to the doctors that she was a drinker and so I called the clinic and told them that she was a chronic alcholic for 30 years and to check her heart and liver.
The nurse confronted her with the information I had given (although I was assured that this would be in confidence) and she started hyperventillating and becominbg hysterical. Anyway they did more tests and determined she was in heart failure. She was whisked away to the hospital and within 24 hours was on a ventilator and all organs, liver, heart and kidney were failing and we were given the diagnosis of multiple organ failure. They did not give her much of a chance and we feared the worst. She was on the ventilator for almost a month but somehow pulled through even though she contracted MERSA. The hospital staff called her a miracle.
During her time in the hospital my mother, sister and myself tried to find all the recovery resources we could. The hospital had two social workers but all they cared about was her insurance.
The doctors said her heart is running at 20% capacity and she is on a dozens of drugs for her liver, kidney and heart. Her chronic drinking caused alcoholic cardiomyopathy causing the weakened heart muscle to pump inefficiently, leading to heart failure. She also had cirrhosis of the liver.
The doctors told her she would not live a year if she touched alcohol.
When released she was given a fist full of pills to keep her up and running and also received some out patient counseling and went to live in a sober living facility. While at the facility she said she did not belong there because she was not like the "those other people". She only went to alcoholic meeting so she could stay at the facility.
She started getting her life back together and got a job and rented a basement room. I heard through my sister and mom that she was staying on the wagon although drinking O' Dooles, a non-alcoholic beer(she has refused to talk to me because I had called the clinic and told them she was an alcoholic)
Fast forward to now....she has started drinking again and has told my sister to check on her every few days in case something happens and her dog is left alone. She also claims the damage to her heart was caused by the paddles that she was shocked with in the hospital. this is ridiculous because we don't even think she was shocked with paddles and had been hospitalized the year before for severe heart problems. At the time she told us she had inherited a heart defect but we now know it was the alcoholic cardiomyopathy which were caused by her drinking. DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL. I know she will tell herself anything to continue to drink.
So now we are on death watch. She is killing herself and will be dead in a few months.
Is there anything to be done? My sister and mom do not think so. my mother naively thought nearly dying would make her stop drinking but now we know nothing will.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I am sitting at the edge a lake watching her drown and I can do nothing. Or can I?
Any advice would be appreciated.
Some history:
My sister started drinking at 15 years of age. During her teenage years everyone around her chalked her drinking up to 'sowing some wild oats'. She received her first DWI that we know about in her early 20s. I am sure she had more then one but she is very secretive about her life. I also know whe was in jail for a while on the DWI but do not know for how long. She has been married 3 times and the last time to another alcoholic. It was a destructive and violent relationship. After her marriage ended she went to live in an isolated community in Alaska. An alcoholic's paradise. She isolated herself from all family. We would rarely here from her with the exception an occasional drunken phone call. She liked to get on the phone when she had 4 or 5 glasses of wine. As the phone call progressed she would start becoming sloppily sentimental and ramble on and on until she became unintelligible and somtimes would pass out while on the phone.
She is the type of alcoholic who always managed to hold a full time job and then once off work she would drink until she passes out at home every night. She drinks more than any human being I have ever seen.
While my other sister was dying of cancer she hardly ever even called her or offered support.
About a year ago she started calling my sister in Seattle talking of suicide and sounding so out of it that my sister thought she was dying and flew up to Alaska to get her and bring her to my mothers home. From my sisters report her apartment was a hell hole filled with empty booze bottles, trash and unopened boxed of all kinds of products from home shopping channels.
Once at my moms she took over my mothers bed and for the most part laid in bed drinking. She was belligerent and downright mean to my mother even though my mom who lives on a fixed income and is almost 70 was sleeping on the floor of her own house. Things reached crisis level when my sister started to have trouble breathing and went to a clinic.
I knew my sister would never admit to the doctors that she was a drinker and so I called the clinic and told them that she was a chronic alcholic for 30 years and to check her heart and liver.
The nurse confronted her with the information I had given (although I was assured that this would be in confidence) and she started hyperventillating and becominbg hysterical. Anyway they did more tests and determined she was in heart failure. She was whisked away to the hospital and within 24 hours was on a ventilator and all organs, liver, heart and kidney were failing and we were given the diagnosis of multiple organ failure. They did not give her much of a chance and we feared the worst. She was on the ventilator for almost a month but somehow pulled through even though she contracted MERSA. The hospital staff called her a miracle.
During her time in the hospital my mother, sister and myself tried to find all the recovery resources we could. The hospital had two social workers but all they cared about was her insurance.
The doctors said her heart is running at 20% capacity and she is on a dozens of drugs for her liver, kidney and heart. Her chronic drinking caused alcoholic cardiomyopathy causing the weakened heart muscle to pump inefficiently, leading to heart failure. She also had cirrhosis of the liver.
The doctors told her she would not live a year if she touched alcohol.
When released she was given a fist full of pills to keep her up and running and also received some out patient counseling and went to live in a sober living facility. While at the facility she said she did not belong there because she was not like the "those other people". She only went to alcoholic meeting so she could stay at the facility.
She started getting her life back together and got a job and rented a basement room. I heard through my sister and mom that she was staying on the wagon although drinking O' Dooles, a non-alcoholic beer(she has refused to talk to me because I had called the clinic and told them she was an alcoholic)
Fast forward to now....she has started drinking again and has told my sister to check on her every few days in case something happens and her dog is left alone. She also claims the damage to her heart was caused by the paddles that she was shocked with in the hospital. this is ridiculous because we don't even think she was shocked with paddles and had been hospitalized the year before for severe heart problems. At the time she told us she had inherited a heart defect but we now know it was the alcoholic cardiomyopathy which were caused by her drinking. DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL. I know she will tell herself anything to continue to drink.
So now we are on death watch. She is killing herself and will be dead in a few months.
Is there anything to be done? My sister and mom do not think so. my mother naively thought nearly dying would make her stop drinking but now we know nothing will.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I am sitting at the edge a lake watching her drown and I can do nothing. Or can I?
Any advice would be appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
I am sorry you are having to watch your sister self destruct. That is what it is I'm afraid. And no, there really is nothing you can do. She obviously has chosen to drink knowing it will kill her. She is irrational. But, she is an adult who has the right to kill herself with alcohol. It's got to be incredibly hard to know this is happening and to not be able to do anything.
There are others in here who have watched their loved ones kill themselves with alcohol. Perhaps they will post their stories and offer their experiences.
You have my prayers as you go through this difficult time.
There are others in here who have watched their loved ones kill themselves with alcohol. Perhaps they will post their stories and offer their experiences.
You have my prayers as you go through this difficult time.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Fort Wayne IN
Posts: 284
My heart goes out to you. I was 46 when taken to hosp. in liver and kidney failure. I drank 24/7. My father died an alcoholic death at 47 and alone. I was going to go the same way. I was given 3-6mo and wouldnt make it long enough for a transplant. Sent home 2 wks later and told to get affairs in order. Healthy 6mo later I started drinking again, less than 1mo I was drinking like before. Went back to hosp. another 2wks. Never was sent to alcohol treatment only lifesaving treatment.
My point is this: I was not going to stop drinking for anybody but myself, no one could do anything for me but me. I turned 47 sober. God and AA held me when I could not.
Do not feel guilty for what your sister is doing to herself. Your sister is the only one who can make herself stop. In AA I found support until I could support myself. I hope your sister can find help in herself, when she does she will need positive support.
My point is this: I was not going to stop drinking for anybody but myself, no one could do anything for me but me. I turned 47 sober. God and AA held me when I could not.
Do not feel guilty for what your sister is doing to herself. Your sister is the only one who can make herself stop. In AA I found support until I could support myself. I hope your sister can find help in herself, when she does she will need positive support.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
traveler,
Your story and my story are nearly identical. My sister lasted to 53, but slid downhill fast in the final few months because of multiple organ failure. It is the most frustating and saddening thing in the world to watch someone commit suicide in slow-motion, which is what our sisters chose. We tried many things....multiple rehabs, multiple sober houses, hospitalization, AA, religion, full support, tough love, everything. Nothing stuck for very long. It was as though she was wired for self-destruction, and we could only stand by and hope that she either a) had some sort of incredible epiphany that STUCK, or b) found her end quietly and painlessly. Horrible.
But there is much you can do for yourself. Learn as much as you can about alcoholism. Know all of its sneaky, vicious faces. Drop in on an Al-Anon meeting or two (I'm not a "meeting person" but that really helped me a lot). Try to find a place of peace inside yourself that knows you've done all you could, and this is her life, her choice, as sick as it seems to the rest of us. She will choose life, or she will choose death....there is no magical power we possess that will make things all better.
Prayers, to whatever you pray to, can be helpful. Send her love and acceptance in your prayers, even though you may not feel it. She is one of the creator's children too.
Hugs to you
GL
Your story and my story are nearly identical. My sister lasted to 53, but slid downhill fast in the final few months because of multiple organ failure. It is the most frustating and saddening thing in the world to watch someone commit suicide in slow-motion, which is what our sisters chose. We tried many things....multiple rehabs, multiple sober houses, hospitalization, AA, religion, full support, tough love, everything. Nothing stuck for very long. It was as though she was wired for self-destruction, and we could only stand by and hope that she either a) had some sort of incredible epiphany that STUCK, or b) found her end quietly and painlessly. Horrible.
But there is much you can do for yourself. Learn as much as you can about alcoholism. Know all of its sneaky, vicious faces. Drop in on an Al-Anon meeting or two (I'm not a "meeting person" but that really helped me a lot). Try to find a place of peace inside yourself that knows you've done all you could, and this is her life, her choice, as sick as it seems to the rest of us. She will choose life, or she will choose death....there is no magical power we possess that will make things all better.
Prayers, to whatever you pray to, can be helpful. Send her love and acceptance in your prayers, even though you may not feel it. She is one of the creator's children too.
Hugs to you
GL
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 596
worldtraveler,
I'm so sorry you have to watch this go down, and particularly with your own sister. That's got to be so gut-wrenching. You asked what you could do. I think you could get counseling. If magically, your sister could see a video of the last 30 years, taken from the perspective of all of her family members, while sober, and see how much pain her drinking has caused everyone, I think she would want you all to do whatever you had to do to save yourself. I think she'd feel terrible that her life infiltrated everyone else's to the point of causing so much worry and pain. And if she could give everyone advice, from a sober perspective, I think she'd be telling you that she chose her own path and you have to choose yours. I don't think she'd want you all to be miserable and exhaust every resource you have to save her. She may be in denial, but it also sounds like she knows the reality of her situation and has made her choice to go out in flying colors.
So, I'm guessing if the sister you used to know and love could give you advice on how to help, it would be to get some counseling to help yourself deal with the situation and to have peace with it. You could also try Al-Anon. But to the point that her choices have encroached on the happiness of so many others, the consequences should be hers right now, and hers alone. If I were your sister, I'd want you to save yourself. (((hugs)))
I'm so sorry you have to watch this go down, and particularly with your own sister. That's got to be so gut-wrenching. You asked what you could do. I think you could get counseling. If magically, your sister could see a video of the last 30 years, taken from the perspective of all of her family members, while sober, and see how much pain her drinking has caused everyone, I think she would want you all to do whatever you had to do to save yourself. I think she'd feel terrible that her life infiltrated everyone else's to the point of causing so much worry and pain. And if she could give everyone advice, from a sober perspective, I think she'd be telling you that she chose her own path and you have to choose yours. I don't think she'd want you all to be miserable and exhaust every resource you have to save her. She may be in denial, but it also sounds like she knows the reality of her situation and has made her choice to go out in flying colors.
So, I'm guessing if the sister you used to know and love could give you advice on how to help, it would be to get some counseling to help yourself deal with the situation and to have peace with it. You could also try Al-Anon. But to the point that her choices have encroached on the happiness of so many others, the consequences should be hers right now, and hers alone. If I were your sister, I'd want you to save yourself. (((hugs)))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 5
Thank you to everyone who responded. I pray all the time for her recovery. I just wish my mother did not have bear the brunt of this horror story. I am in another state but call my mom a couple of times a week.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Traveler 
My heart goes out to you! I like you and GiveLove have been watching my 51 year
old brother self destruct-It is a heart wrenching disease the more I understand
about it. I use to get so angry and say "Why can't he just STOP" some can and
some like my brother IMHO just do not have the strength.
And all we can do is hope and pray-while we take care of ourselves-Al-Anon has
shown me ways to deal with what I need for myself while watching my brother
go through this pain. I wish I could help him but, I cannot-I'm the only family member
that really talks to him now and that is only because I have found the strength through
my HP, Al-Anon, and the great folks here at SR! When I feel I have no strength those
are the times I do not speak to him.
Sending you many prayers and be grateful for what you were able to do and
share with her. Know you are not alone in this and please keep posting!
My heart goes out to you! I like you and GiveLove have been watching my 51 year
old brother self destruct-It is a heart wrenching disease the more I understand
about it. I use to get so angry and say "Why can't he just STOP" some can and
some like my brother IMHO just do not have the strength.
And all we can do is hope and pray-while we take care of ourselves-Al-Anon has
shown me ways to deal with what I need for myself while watching my brother
go through this pain. I wish I could help him but, I cannot-I'm the only family member
that really talks to him now and that is only because I have found the strength through
my HP, Al-Anon, and the great folks here at SR! When I feel I have no strength those
are the times I do not speak to him.
Sending you many prayers and
be grateful for what you were able to do and share with her. Know you are not alone in this and please keep posting!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Phoenix
Posts: 36
I'm so sorry you and your family are going through this. It must be so hard to work at helping her when she refuses it. You obviously are a family who cares deeply for her in spite of all she has done in the past to push you away.
I fear this is the beginning to the road for my ah as well. It seems that the years of pain watching them drink is bad enough and then this happens.
My thoughts are with you during such a difficult time.
I fear this is the beginning to the road for my ah as well. It seems that the years of pain watching them drink is bad enough and then this happens.
My thoughts are with you during such a difficult time.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: FL
Posts: 14,246
Traveler,
I'm so sorry about your sister's condition and how painful this must be for you and your family. I've known of a few people who have continued to use drugs or drink after reaching this stage and can't imagine it. This disease is cruel.
My hopes for you include some rest and peace from the distress; and that you will try to find ways to seek comfort and gain as much support as possible.
If you haven't already attended some Al-Anon meetings, I highly recommend it.
Please keep posting here. You don't have to face this alone.
I'm so sorry about your sister's condition and how painful this must be for you and your family. I've known of a few people who have continued to use drugs or drink after reaching this stage and can't imagine it. This disease is cruel.
My hopes for you include some rest and peace from the distress; and that you will try to find ways to seek comfort and gain as much support as possible.
If you haven't already attended some Al-Anon meetings, I highly recommend it.
Please keep posting here. You don't have to face this alone.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Texas
Posts: 63
Worldtraveler.....I am so sorry you're having to go thru this.....
There isn't much to say that hasn't been expressed already.
It is just very sad that there are alcoholics who, even after almost dying, persist in giving alcohol priority over everything and everybody and IMO they aren't even capable of considering what it does to those close to them.
I just wanted to reinforce that you are not responsible for your sister's choices.
And know that you are not alone.
My heart goes out to you and all others who are having to watch a family member's health (and life) go down the drain as a result of their drinking.
There isn't much to say that hasn't been expressed already.
It is just very sad that there are alcoholics who, even after almost dying, persist in giving alcohol priority over everything and everybody and IMO they aren't even capable of considering what it does to those close to them.
I just wanted to reinforce that you are not responsible for your sister's choices.
And know that you are not alone.
My heart goes out to you and all others who are having to watch a family member's health (and life) go down the drain as a result of their drinking.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Great Lake Country
Posts: 333
Traveler,
My heart goes out to you. I'm watching a beautiful and vibrant woman doing the same to herself. She's only been drinking to destruction for 3 years, but its made massive changes to her, and she doesn't even realize.
Please understand that the 3 c's. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. Like lifesaving, help as much as you can, but understand, the world is not a better place for having two people leave it, instead of just one.
My heart goes out to you. I'm watching a beautiful and vibrant woman doing the same to herself. She's only been drinking to destruction for 3 years, but its made massive changes to her, and she doesn't even realize.
Please understand that the 3 c's. You didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. Like lifesaving, help as much as you can, but understand, the world is not a better place for having two people leave it, instead of just one.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 172
Originally Posted by worldtraveler 
I am here asking for advice and help about my sister. I feel she is now terminal and has weeks to live because of her chronic alcoholism. She is 47.
Some history:
My sister started drinking at 15 years of age. During her teenage years everyone around her chalked her drinking up to 'sowing some wild oats'. She received her first DWI that we know about in her early 20s. I am sure she had more then one but she is very secretive about her life. I also know whe was in jail for a while on the DWI but do not know for how long. She has been married 3 times and the last time to another alcoholic. It was a destructive and violent relationship. After her marriage ended she went to live in an isolated community in Alaska. An alcoholic's paradise. She isolated herself from all family. We would rarely here from her with the exception an occasional drunken phone call. She liked to get on the phone when she had 4 or 5 glasses of wine. As the phone call progressed she would start becoming sloppily sentimental and ramble on and on until she became unintelligible and somtimes would pass out while on the phone.
She is the type of alcoholic who always managed to hold a full time job and then once off work she would drink until she passes out at home every night. She drinks more than any human being I have ever seen.
While my other sister was dying of cancer she hardly ever even called her or offered support.
About a year ago she started calling my sister in Seattle talking of suicide and sounding so out of it that my sister thought she was dying and flew up to Alaska to get her and bring her to my mothers home. From my sisters report her apartment was a hell hole filled with empty booze bottles, trash and unopened boxed of all kinds of products from home shopping channels.
Once at my moms she took over my mothers bed and for the most part laid in bed drinking. She was belligerent and downright mean to my mother even though my mom who lives on a fixed income and is almost 70 was sleeping on the floor of her own house. Things reached crisis level when my sister started to have trouble breathing and went to a clinic.
I knew my sister would never admit to the doctors that she was a drinker and so I called the clinic and told them that she was a chronic alcholic for 30 years and to check her heart and liver.
The nurse confronted her with the information I had given (although I was assured that this would be in confidence) and she started hyperventillating and becominbg hysterical. Anyway they did more tests and determined she was in heart failure. She was whisked away to the hospital and within 24 hours was on a ventilator and all organs, liver, heart and kidney were failing and we were given the diagnosis of multiple organ failure. They did not give her much of a chance and we feared the worst. She was on the ventilator for almost a month but somehow pulled through even though she contracted MERSA. The hospital staff called her a miracle.
During her time in the hospital my mother, sister and myself tried to find all the recovery resources we could. The hospital had two social workers but all they cared about was her insurance.
The doctors said her heart is running at 20% capacity and she is on a dozens of drugs for her liver, kidney and heart. Her chronic drinking caused alcoholic cardiomyopathy causing the weakened heart muscle to pump inefficiently, leading to heart failure. She also had cirrhosis of the liver.
The doctors told her she would not live a year if she touched alcohol.
When released she was given a fist full of pills to keep her up and running and also received some out patient counseling and went to live in a sober living facility. While at the facility she said she did not belong there because she was not like the "those other people". She only went to alcoholic meeting so she could stay at the facility.
She started getting her life back together and got a job and rented a basement room. I heard through my sister and mom that she was staying on the wagon although drinking O' Dooles, a non-alcoholic beer(she has refused to talk to me because I had called the clinic and told them she was an alcoholic)
Fast forward to now....she has started drinking again and has told my sister to check on her every few days in case something happens and her dog is left alone. She also claims the damage to her heart was caused by the paddles that she was shocked with in the hospital. this is ridiculous because we don't even think she was shocked with paddles and had been hospitalized the year before for severe heart problems. At the time she told us she had inherited a heart defect but we now know it was the alcoholic cardiomyopathy which were caused by her drinking. DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL. I know she will tell herself anything to continue to drink.
So now we are on death watch. She is killing herself and will be dead in a few months.
Is there anything to be done? My sister and mom do not think so. my mother naively thought nearly dying would make her stop drinking but now we know nothing will.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I am sitting at the edge a lake watching her drown and I can do nothing. Or can I?
Any advice would be appreciated.
Some history:
My sister started drinking at 15 years of age. During her teenage years everyone around her chalked her drinking up to 'sowing some wild oats'. She received her first DWI that we know about in her early 20s. I am sure she had more then one but she is very secretive about her life. I also know whe was in jail for a while on the DWI but do not know for how long. She has been married 3 times and the last time to another alcoholic. It was a destructive and violent relationship. After her marriage ended she went to live in an isolated community in Alaska. An alcoholic's paradise. She isolated herself from all family. We would rarely here from her with the exception an occasional drunken phone call. She liked to get on the phone when she had 4 or 5 glasses of wine. As the phone call progressed she would start becoming sloppily sentimental and ramble on and on until she became unintelligible and somtimes would pass out while on the phone.
She is the type of alcoholic who always managed to hold a full time job and then once off work she would drink until she passes out at home every night. She drinks more than any human being I have ever seen.
While my other sister was dying of cancer she hardly ever even called her or offered support.
About a year ago she started calling my sister in Seattle talking of suicide and sounding so out of it that my sister thought she was dying and flew up to Alaska to get her and bring her to my mothers home. From my sisters report her apartment was a hell hole filled with empty booze bottles, trash and unopened boxed of all kinds of products from home shopping channels.
Once at my moms she took over my mothers bed and for the most part laid in bed drinking. She was belligerent and downright mean to my mother even though my mom who lives on a fixed income and is almost 70 was sleeping on the floor of her own house. Things reached crisis level when my sister started to have trouble breathing and went to a clinic.
I knew my sister would never admit to the doctors that she was a drinker and so I called the clinic and told them that she was a chronic alcholic for 30 years and to check her heart and liver.
The nurse confronted her with the information I had given (although I was assured that this would be in confidence) and she started hyperventillating and becominbg hysterical. Anyway they did more tests and determined she was in heart failure. She was whisked away to the hospital and within 24 hours was on a ventilator and all organs, liver, heart and kidney were failing and we were given the diagnosis of multiple organ failure. They did not give her much of a chance and we feared the worst. She was on the ventilator for almost a month but somehow pulled through even though she contracted MERSA. The hospital staff called her a miracle.
During her time in the hospital my mother, sister and myself tried to find all the recovery resources we could. The hospital had two social workers but all they cared about was her insurance.
The doctors said her heart is running at 20% capacity and she is on a dozens of drugs for her liver, kidney and heart. Her chronic drinking caused alcoholic cardiomyopathy causing the weakened heart muscle to pump inefficiently, leading to heart failure. She also had cirrhosis of the liver.
The doctors told her she would not live a year if she touched alcohol.
When released she was given a fist full of pills to keep her up and running and also received some out patient counseling and went to live in a sober living facility. While at the facility she said she did not belong there because she was not like the "those other people". She only went to alcoholic meeting so she could stay at the facility.
She started getting her life back together and got a job and rented a basement room. I heard through my sister and mom that she was staying on the wagon although drinking O' Dooles, a non-alcoholic beer(she has refused to talk to me because I had called the clinic and told them she was an alcoholic)
Fast forward to now....she has started drinking again and has told my sister to check on her every few days in case something happens and her dog is left alone. She also claims the damage to her heart was caused by the paddles that she was shocked with in the hospital. this is ridiculous because we don't even think she was shocked with paddles and had been hospitalized the year before for severe heart problems. At the time she told us she had inherited a heart defect but we now know it was the alcoholic cardiomyopathy which were caused by her drinking. DENIAL DENIAL DENIAL. I know she will tell herself anything to continue to drink.
So now we are on death watch. She is killing herself and will be dead in a few months.
Is there anything to be done? My sister and mom do not think so. my mother naively thought nearly dying would make her stop drinking but now we know nothing will.
I don't know what to do. I feel like I am sitting at the edge a lake watching her drown and I can do nothing. Or can I?
Any advice would be appreciated.
You will never be able to make her stop. Only she can do that. She has to want to.
You and your family will be in my prayers. Please keep us posted. i am sorry i was of no help with any good advise. I just feel sad for you and your family and your sister (even though she is choosing to do this). Life is so precious. She could have a second chance...she just jump and take that chance.
I wish you the best.::ghug
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