Need support outside of 12 step programs
contemplating
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 16
Need support outside of 12 step programs
Hi
I am a professional in atlanta looking for some type of support or group...a way to meet others that do not drink...however I am not interested in a 12 step program or church....anyone happen to know of a support group other than the typical?
----trying to get better-----------
I am a professional in atlanta looking for some type of support or group...a way to meet others that do not drink...however I am not interested in a 12 step program or church....anyone happen to know of a support group other than the typical?
----trying to get better-----------
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Here is a list of various recovery programs
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html
And on SR...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...step-recovery/
I do hope you will find one to fit your situation.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html
And on SR...
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...step-recovery/
I do hope you will find one to fit your situation.
Last edited by CarolD; 07-09-2008 at 01:44 PM. Reason: Typo
contemplating
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Atlanta, Georgia
Posts: 16
I am trying to find a way to make friends that dont spend all their time in bars.......i know im not the only one in atlanta...
Carol D
Thanks, and yes i am looking into your suggestions!
Carol D
Thanks, and yes i am looking into your suggestions!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Look for a club to join...like gardening or photography...or something requiring more brain function than drinking allows...like bridge or ballroom dancing.
There are lots of people out there not drinking...I have to find the groups of people with similar interests to mine to hang with instead of bars.
Hanggliding club...scuba classes...endless choices
There are lots of people out there not drinking...I have to find the groups of people with similar interests to mine to hang with instead of bars.
Hanggliding club...scuba classes...endless choices
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
sorry dryjuliet...I meant to come back and post but the last few days have been hectic....I see Rusty namedchecked me, so I thought I'd post.
Maybe something in this ramble will help LOL.
I've done it on my own, with the help of everyone here at SR of course, for over 15 months now, so it is possible to recover without AA, or any programme really.
I found helping others here to be the main part of my recovery.
It was good for this self absorbed old alkie to realise other people needed help, and it was great to see I could offer something after years of doing nothing
But it's a lot of work when you're your own taskmaster. I see now why most people pick a programme of some kind
After all, I didn't do such a great job of running my life over my drinking career. Self discipline is not usually an alkie's forte LOL.
To get to today, I had to change a lot of my behaviours.
Stopping? My way was pretty much drink until I did nothing but drink all day, then nearly die. Fear's a good motivator to get sober.
But to keep me sober, I had to look honestly, even brutally at myself.
I realised I'd never really been serious before about getting sober.
I worked out, finally, that it's so much more than just not drinking.
It's about admitting you have a problem. For me that meant admitting I can't drink alcohol safely. I can never drink 'normally'.
It means dealing with the resentment that realisation brings. Sure it sucks, sure it's unfair, sure it makes me mad - even now...but it just is.
It's not gonna change. I can't drink. I can't do the things my friends do, or the way I see things done on my TV or in movies, or on the street in restaurants and bars and clubs - but resenting that is just self defeating - it just brings me back to old behaviours.
I had to deal with the removal of my main crutch in life. I used alcohol to make me more sociable, to relax, to not hurt, to not feel, to sleep, to be happy, to not be angry....the list was endless.
It's a hell of a jolt to deal with all that sober. It's a lot more responsibility too - I didn't realise how much responsibility I'd avoided over the years til I got sober.
I can't explain how I did it anymore than to say I decided there was never again gonna be any reason to drink.
No matter how bad things got, and they have at times gotten pretty bad, I know a drink will not help. Dealing with mountains of stuff one bite at a time - one day, one hour, one minute - at a time helped.
I shouted down the voices in my head. I trusted that the people I saw here on SR day after day were right.
I filled the time when I might have been drinking, or craving, with helping others here, or just doing *something* - anything but giving in and drinking.
I may have started this off through fear, but I came to like the man I am now. I'm not giving him up, or the great new life I've built.
I like to say I grew up.
I faced challenges and I found to my surprise I met them. That's better than any beer buzz I ever had.
This is my way. I hope you find your way, DJ
best of luck - and keep posting
D
Maybe something in this ramble will help LOL.
I've done it on my own, with the help of everyone here at SR of course, for over 15 months now, so it is possible to recover without AA, or any programme really.
I found helping others here to be the main part of my recovery.
It was good for this self absorbed old alkie to realise other people needed help, and it was great to see I could offer something after years of doing nothing
But it's a lot of work when you're your own taskmaster. I see now why most people pick a programme of some kind
After all, I didn't do such a great job of running my life over my drinking career. Self discipline is not usually an alkie's forte LOL.
To get to today, I had to change a lot of my behaviours.
Stopping? My way was pretty much drink until I did nothing but drink all day, then nearly die. Fear's a good motivator to get sober.
But to keep me sober, I had to look honestly, even brutally at myself.
I realised I'd never really been serious before about getting sober.
I worked out, finally, that it's so much more than just not drinking.
It's about admitting you have a problem. For me that meant admitting I can't drink alcohol safely. I can never drink 'normally'.
It means dealing with the resentment that realisation brings. Sure it sucks, sure it's unfair, sure it makes me mad - even now...but it just is.
It's not gonna change. I can't drink. I can't do the things my friends do, or the way I see things done on my TV or in movies, or on the street in restaurants and bars and clubs - but resenting that is just self defeating - it just brings me back to old behaviours.
I had to deal with the removal of my main crutch in life. I used alcohol to make me more sociable, to relax, to not hurt, to not feel, to sleep, to be happy, to not be angry....the list was endless.
It's a hell of a jolt to deal with all that sober. It's a lot more responsibility too - I didn't realise how much responsibility I'd avoided over the years til I got sober.
I can't explain how I did it anymore than to say I decided there was never again gonna be any reason to drink.
No matter how bad things got, and they have at times gotten pretty bad, I know a drink will not help. Dealing with mountains of stuff one bite at a time - one day, one hour, one minute - at a time helped.
I shouted down the voices in my head. I trusted that the people I saw here on SR day after day were right.
I filled the time when I might have been drinking, or craving, with helping others here, or just doing *something* - anything but giving in and drinking.
I may have started this off through fear, but I came to like the man I am now. I'm not giving him up, or the great new life I've built.
I like to say I grew up.
I faced challenges and I found to my surprise I met them. That's better than any beer buzz I ever had.
This is my way. I hope you find your way, DJ
best of luck - and keep posting
D
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Rye, NY
Posts: 6
DryJuliet,
As others have suggested, you can get involved in hobby groups or classes in your area. There are many things you can, and should do, to fill the time you used to dedicate to drinking. This is only part of recovery...
I was resistant to AA in the beginning myself. I suggest that you give it a try for a while. Nowhere else will you find a group of accepting, loving people that are going through the exact things you are. It is clearly a bit different from joining a photography club where people are interested in photography and may also socialize around drinking. Going to a more traditional AA support group will help you address the underlying reasons for your drinking and not just fill the time with hobbies until the next relapse (this is a common part of recovery). Please do not perceive this as me preaching - it is only my experience that hopefully provides some help.
Good luck.
As others have suggested, you can get involved in hobby groups or classes in your area. There are many things you can, and should do, to fill the time you used to dedicate to drinking. This is only part of recovery...
I was resistant to AA in the beginning myself. I suggest that you give it a try for a while. Nowhere else will you find a group of accepting, loving people that are going through the exact things you are. It is clearly a bit different from joining a photography club where people are interested in photography and may also socialize around drinking. Going to a more traditional AA support group will help you address the underlying reasons for your drinking and not just fill the time with hobbies until the next relapse (this is a common part of recovery). Please do not perceive this as me preaching - it is only my experience that hopefully provides some help.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 6
Out patient rehab facilities offer a lot of different programs and sessions. Some of them do not care about insurance or that you even pay, they just want you to get the services you need. They offer night sessions, and you can go to one or two a week, or whatever you are comfortable with. I found one that is very, very, very helpful. Other than that, most other programs are step or religious. Some of the step programs have non-step meetings though, like open discussions and picnics and such. It's a good place to meet people that feel the same way you do, so maybe you could make your own little meetings.
I'm not from your area so I am only speaking in general, but wanted to offer advice
I'm not from your area so I am only speaking in general, but wanted to offer advice
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
Dryjuliet, lowlife, others...
Everyone I know was 'resistant' to AA & NA in the beginning, and they all had serious misconceptions about the programs (cults, religious rigidity, bums & losers, etc.).
Nobody I know came to either program full of exuberance, proclaiming happiness to the world. I don't think anyone 'wants' to be an alcoholic and/or addict.
But... alot of people I know came to a meeting, sat in the back, said nothing, and became amazed at how much of themselves they saw & heard in the others.
And suddenly they knew they 'belonged'.
(You don't have to believe in GOD or anything else, just be willing to change.)
Everyone I know was 'resistant' to AA & NA in the beginning, and they all had serious misconceptions about the programs (cults, religious rigidity, bums & losers, etc.).
Nobody I know came to either program full of exuberance, proclaiming happiness to the world. I don't think anyone 'wants' to be an alcoholic and/or addict.
But... alot of people I know came to a meeting, sat in the back, said nothing, and became amazed at how much of themselves they saw & heard in the others.
And suddenly they knew they 'belonged'.
(You don't have to believe in GOD or anything else, just be willing to change.)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
I attend AA and love it, but as Dee said...there are many ways to get sober the main thing is to commit to a path and follow it. I don't think I have seen very many people get sober and remain isolated. For me SR and AA tell me it is a WE thing.
The time I invest and spend with non-alchoholics with shared interest is very important to me as it helps me to realize that I am not all that different than other human beings. I am alchoholic just as I am diabetic and some people are short some people are tall...etc.
Now that said....I did spend 4 weeks around only alchoholics in a treatment center and even today I spend many hours a week on recovery related things like SR and AA. If for whatever reaason you choose not to do AA, please consider making a commitment to some recovery group on a daily basis for some small amount of time at least....SR seems to work for many people just by it's self...As has been said, changing yourself is the big part of getting well from this illness.
The time I invest and spend with non-alchoholics with shared interest is very important to me as it helps me to realize that I am not all that different than other human beings. I am alchoholic just as I am diabetic and some people are short some people are tall...etc.
Now that said....I did spend 4 weeks around only alchoholics in a treatment center and even today I spend many hours a week on recovery related things like SR and AA. If for whatever reaason you choose not to do AA, please consider making a commitment to some recovery group on a daily basis for some small amount of time at least....SR seems to work for many people just by it's self...As has been said, changing yourself is the big part of getting well from this illness.
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