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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 355
New to this Group
I am new to this group, but I have been reading alot of posts. I have an addicted daughter (OXYS), and tomorrow she will have 90 days clean. She is on suboxone, attends NA meetings, is doing group couns
eling and seems to have a good grip on what she wants to do. She lives with me and has to wonderful children 4 & almost 2.(boys). I attend alanon meetings, tho not as many as I should since she has been sober. I probably need them now more than ever. She is 23 and has been an addict since probably 16, she has had alot of medical problems and has already had a hysterectomy. For a long time I was in denial about her addiction but there came a time when I KNEW the meds was not just medical. I thought I would lose my mind attimes(and did). I went through all the things that codependent people do, making excuses, lying for her, fixing things because I thought that was a mothers job. But there came a time when I could no longer lie to myself. She is my only child and I just kept thinking that I could fix everything. I almost ruined myself financially, emotionally, physically, almost lost my husband (her stepdad), and at the time I really didn't care. I finally decided that I had to turn her over to a higher power (altho I still didn't want to let go). 3 months ago I felt like I was in a burning building with no way out and I couldn't breath. I have been through alot in my life with my family and I always survived, but this was different. When she decided to get help for herself I really didn't know whether or not I could even be supportive or not as in letting her stay here, I had planned on taking the kids and just letting her go but a voice inside of me said hang on just a little longer. When I would tell her I was sicker than she was, she just could not understand that. Today, she does. I did everything wrong!!! There are still times today when I think she should be making more progresss than what she is, but I have to remind myself that this is her recovery, I have my own. I think God puts us where we are supposed to be, and I am so grateful that he has helped her see the light. Her children are so much happier although they are too young to really know what went on, only that they stayed with Mamaw an awful lot. I also know that things could fall apart tomorrow, but for today things are pretty good. And that is all I can ask for. I wish I had found this site a long time ago, but I guess I am where I need to be. Reading these postings are good for me and I thank you for being there. To all of you I just want to say hang in there and thanks for all the insight that I find in these postings.
Gotahavfaith
eling and seems to have a good grip on what she wants to do. She lives with me and has to wonderful children 4 & almost 2.(boys). I attend alanon meetings, tho not as many as I should since she has been sober. I probably need them now more than ever. She is 23 and has been an addict since probably 16, she has had alot of medical problems and has already had a hysterectomy. For a long time I was in denial about her addiction but there came a time when I KNEW the meds was not just medical. I thought I would lose my mind attimes(and did). I went through all the things that codependent people do, making excuses, lying for her, fixing things because I thought that was a mothers job. But there came a time when I could no longer lie to myself. She is my only child and I just kept thinking that I could fix everything. I almost ruined myself financially, emotionally, physically, almost lost my husband (her stepdad), and at the time I really didn't care. I finally decided that I had to turn her over to a higher power (altho I still didn't want to let go). 3 months ago I felt like I was in a burning building with no way out and I couldn't breath. I have been through alot in my life with my family and I always survived, but this was different. When she decided to get help for herself I really didn't know whether or not I could even be supportive or not as in letting her stay here, I had planned on taking the kids and just letting her go but a voice inside of me said hang on just a little longer. When I would tell her I was sicker than she was, she just could not understand that. Today, she does. I did everything wrong!!! There are still times today when I think she should be making more progresss than what she is, but I have to remind myself that this is her recovery, I have my own. I think God puts us where we are supposed to be, and I am so grateful that he has helped her see the light. Her children are so much happier although they are too young to really know what went on, only that they stayed with Mamaw an awful lot. I also know that things could fall apart tomorrow, but for today things are pretty good. And that is all I can ask for. I wish I had found this site a long time ago, but I guess I am where I need to be. Reading these postings are good for me and I thank you for being there. To all of you I just want to say hang in there and thanks for all the insight that I find in these postings.Gotahavfaith
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ontario, canada
Posts: 540
Welcome to SR, mother of a 21 year old AS. Sounds like you all are on the right path. I truly believe god puts us where we are supposed to be. Some choose not to listen or really see the path that should be taken. I came to this site over desperation looking for answers to my sons problems, I have learned so much more about myself and the role I have played in his addiction.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 702
Welcome to Sr,
I'm a mother of a 23 RAS. So sorry you are going through this madness. Keep coming back here and you will find much support here. If you can start attending meetings again. You are right you need them now as much as you did while she was actively using. I'm glad she is working a program in her recovery. That is a good start.
Sending you hugs and prayers
I'm a mother of a 23 RAS. So sorry you are going through this madness. Keep coming back here and you will find much support here. If you can start attending meetings again. You are right you need them now as much as you did while she was actively using. I'm glad she is working a program in her recovery. That is a good start.
Sending you hugs and prayers
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
I wanted to add my welcome. I am the mother of a recovering daughter, age 22. She has 45 days clean and is also doing suboxone and living in a halfway house. What she will do when she leaves there we have not yet decided. Not sure if moving home is an option. Glad that you found us and that you found recovery for yourself. Hugs, Marle
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 355
Thank you everyone for the welcome. It always takes me some time to open up to people, even on the net. It's good to know there are people here for me and everyone else that goes thru this horrible disease.
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Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: My House
Posts: 1,122
Welcome! 
I've read your other posting, and I'm terribly sorry you went through what you did with your daughter.
I just want you to know that when I see your ID, I don't think about a mother who "did the wrong thing" in her daughter's addiction. Rather, I see a strong, wise woman who has clearly raised a strong daughter too, for her to have made 90 days clean. It's always nice to meet people who have learned to give the situation over to their HP. You give me hope that maybe one day my mom can do the same (my sister, age 20, is a recovering heroin addict, but mom is still trying to be in charge of the situation).
I've read your other posting, and I'm terribly sorry you went through what you did with your daughter.
I just want you to know that when I see your ID, I don't think about a mother who "did the wrong thing" in her daughter's addiction. Rather, I see a strong, wise woman who has clearly raised a strong daughter too, for her to have made 90 days clean. It's always nice to meet people who have learned to give the situation over to their HP. You give me hope that maybe one day my mom can do the same (my sister, age 20, is a recovering heroin addict, but mom is still trying to be in charge of the situation).
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