Calling 911

Old 07-04-2008, 04:31 PM
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Calling 911

Would you call 911 and report your AH when he drove completely intoxicated? I have done it twice now and they haven't caught up with him yet. He gets to where he is going before they can catch him. But I was wondering if the A can somehow find out it was me that called? I don't want him to find out but he really needs to be picked up. It may help him hit bottom but more importantly save someones life. He continues to drink and drive when he can't even stand up. He has managed to get away with this for 5 years now. He actually has empty beer cans all over his truck.

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
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Old 07-04-2008, 04:33 PM
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I don't know if he could find out it was you, but honestly I wouldn't worry about it. You're trying to protect innocent people on the street, as well as him.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 07-04-2008, 04:45 PM
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It's the right thing to do for all involved; if you really want to know if the call is anonymous or not call your local police department and ask.
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Old 07-04-2008, 04:49 PM
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I agree with Impurrfect I would call. You will feel worse if you dont, he could kill someone.

take care

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Old 07-04-2008, 05:11 PM
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Yup, I would call on him or anyone driving drunk.
I don't think they can tell him by law that it was you who called.??
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Old 07-04-2008, 09:22 PM
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My friend died in an accident just last week. She was driving a bit drunk and a bit high and she drove the wrong way on highway. She hit a motorcyclist head on and killed them both.

Call 911 if you think they will pick him up.... but also think about your motives.
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Old 07-05-2008, 06:37 AM
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Yup, I'd call. Just as I would call if I saw anyone acting in a manner that endangers people.
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Old 07-05-2008, 06:43 AM
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I think it's admirable for you to call. Being drunk is one thing. Breaking the law and putting other people at risk of losing their lives is another. I've called the police before when I saw someone weaving all over the road. I'd do it regardless of who was driving.
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Old 07-05-2008, 08:08 AM
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It takes a lot of courage to call the police on someone you love. I use to think that it would be devastating for my son to get a dui. It wasn't. It was an important step in his (and mine) self discovery.

I don't think he can find out who called it in. I don't think the 911 operator would ask for your name and if they do, you can always say that you'd like to keep this report anonymous. I'd be willing to bet they get calls like that all the time.
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Old 07-05-2008, 10:14 AM
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Great thread......I have never called on my AW but probably should have. During her last relapse I asked her "have you been driving drunk?". She said she had and I just can't believe it. DUI's, getting arrested, court ordered class......this disease is so powerful she would risk more and harsher consequences for the alcohol. Amazing...
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Old 07-05-2008, 10:25 AM
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Thank you all.

This is something that has bothered me for so long about my AH. Its like he doesn't even care and his sickness bleeds and affects everyone...potentially those who don't even know.

He always says he is 'fine'. Yeah right, thats what all the drunks say before plowing into a family and killing them. Somehow he thinks he is different.

I am going to call until he gets caught. Most of the time he doesn't drive very far and he is where he needs to go before the call gets out.

My motives? Mostly for the other drivers on the road and yes, for him too.
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Old 07-05-2008, 11:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Startingover2 View Post
Would you call 911 and report your AH when he drove completely intoxicated? I have done it twice now and they haven't caught up with him yet. He gets to where he is going before they can catch him. But I was wondering if the A can somehow find out it was me that called? I don't want him to find out but he really needs to be picked up. It may help him hit bottom but more importantly save someones life. He continues to drink and drive when he can't even stand up. He has managed to get away with this for 5 years now. He actually has empty beer cans all over his truck.

Any help would be appreciated. Thanks.
I agree in theory that you should call, but since he is your H, you too will suffer all the repercussions i.e. financial and inconvenience (you will have to drive him everywhere or he'll be charged with DWS AND DUI next time.) Also, your insurance will go up and stay up for years. If he was just your BF you could keep things separate. Just some thoughts. Also, if the cop sees erratic driving and H fails FST and/or breathalyzer then there is no reason for them to contact you. If you're really worried, just call from a payphone and give the vehicle license # and location.
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Old 07-05-2008, 11:41 AM
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Originally Posted by WishIWasNormal View Post
I agree in theory that you should call, but since he is your H, you too will suffer all the repercussions i.e. financial and inconvenience (you will have to drive him everywhere or he'll be charged with DWS AND DUI next time.) Also, your insurance will go up and stay up for years. If he was just your BF you could keep things separate. Just some thoughts. Also, if the cop sees erratic driving and H fails FST and/or breathalyzer then there is no reason for them to contact you. If you're really worried, just call from a payphone and give the vehicle license # and location.
I think that is what keeps us from making those calls to the police and why it is truly an act of courage to do so. There is also that knowledge that is always lingering in the back of our minds that they could kill someone. In that situation we would also indirectly suffer the consequences of a spouses actions. No matter how you look at it......it's a tough call to make.
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Old 07-05-2008, 12:31 PM
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Originally Posted by Startingover2 View Post
Would you call 911 and report your AH when he drove completely intoxicated?.
Short answer - yes I would!

Long answer - yes I would because the police will catch him some time or other, his luck will run out. The sad thing is that so unfortunately will someone elses, and for that reason, I'd keep calling everytime.
I doubt he'll find out you called them, but if he did, well he needs to learn to deal with the consequences of drink driving, heaven forbid he ended up with a life or more on hi conscience too.

Lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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Old 08-22-2008, 02:24 PM
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Wow.

Easy does it.

You don't HAVE to pay the bail!
Or the Rehab.
Or the Fines.
The Alcoholic has to. It's the alcoholic's problem. You can say No.

You would remove them from the insurance. They might lose their license anyway. Any increase in premiums is also the responsibility of the Alcoholic.

The mortgage, household bills, etc. can all be dealt with. A drag and a burden, yes. But that pales in comparison to saving an innocent person's life don't you think?

B.
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Old 08-22-2008, 02:24 PM
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Originally Posted by WishIWasNormal View Post
Just wondering if you earn enough $$ to bail him out, pay his fines, pay the household bills while he is in rehab and the increased vehicle insurance for about five years. Not to mention the morgage and electric and car payment. What kind of work do you do to give such a flippant answer?

I wouldn't bail him out, pay his fines, pay for rehab or allow him to be on my car insurance. I would have done nothing to erase his consequences.

Before I left my xAH I was the only one working, had been for years, so it would have been no different if he had been caught and jailed as a consequence.
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Old 08-22-2008, 02:36 PM
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Being married to an alcoholic or addict who drives involves an inherent financial risk, whether you call the cops or not. It was one of the many things I considered when I decided divorce was my best option.

L
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Old 08-22-2008, 06:07 PM
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I call EVERY TIME! The police in our local area now know enough to not go into the big questionairre about whether this is a domestic issue (they always assumed we were in a fight and I was just trying to "get him"). They have never caught him, unfortunately, but I always call and I just figure if I saw someone in traffic in front of me swerving, I would call and that's not even a known drunk.

I couldn't live with myself if someone were hurt or injured and I hadn't done whatever I could to stop it from happening. I hate that it's part of my reality, but that's not the issue.

Not fun, though, yes?
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