stillredhot

I went to detox in april 08' with a severe case of alcohol withdrawal. Since then I have found it very hard to want to get out and find help. I have a therapist I can see that deals with addictions and I know there is AA but I'm having such a hard time making myself get out of the house. I don't have much support from my family or friends. I feel like I'm stuck in this rut with no way out. I haven't touched anything since detox but my anxiety is really high and I am having a hard time enjoying anything at all. It doesn't help that my husband supposedly supports my well-being but yet sits in front of me enjoying his drinks. I don't know anyone that is "suffering" from any kind of substance abuse so I feel really out of place and afraid to talk to anyone without them demeaning my situation. I guess I am reaching out to perfect strangers now so I don't feel alone and I can get the cyber pat on the back for my efforts. :help

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I am glad you found us and please know that there is hope.

You can find peace and live a sober life. I felt very alone too, but I definitely didn't want to go back to drinking. Take a look around and read and learn.

TorontoGuy28

Hey stillredhot ! Welcome, you are NOT alone !! We are here for you, this board is great for support...

Have you looked up your local AA number ? Give them a call, great bunch of folks just like us... You will feel right at home at a meeting !

Meanwhile, please keep posting...

All the best !

TorontoGuy28

Try these : Oklahoma Alcoholics Anonymous Central Offices and Intergroups

Rusty Zipper

srh were not perfect, and were not strangers to alcoholism

for me, i had the same affliction of the feelings of less-then, low self-esteem, fears, and the compulsion to drink!

i have found that my anxiety, and a lot of it was of my own making, combined with the booze, then detoxing from it...

for me, the mind change, and the inner change has helped to releave most of it...

now when i get nerved up, i know where it comes from...
then deal with it at the time!

good wishes srh!

rz

tommyk

Get out and meet some people like yourself. AA and/or NA.

And don't expect people unfamiliar with the 'disease' to be too accomodating (like your husband). It's not their fault they don't understand.

deezaldog

GO TO A MEETING TODAY!!

I have been where you are today! So, I can really understand the isolation. A therapist can help but AA saved my life. I was taken to the hospital in liver and kidney failure from alcohol. I was severly jaundice and given 3-4 months and told to get my affairs in order. It was doubtfull I would live long enough for a transplant. Get to a meeting asap!! If you could go out for alcohol you can get out for a meeting. The support is amazing. Another alcoholic will understand. If you reach out for help the hand of AA will be there to help. AA carried me until I could carry myself. I also had no family help and lived with a practiceing alcoholic so I found it difficult as well. I have been sober since 3-30-07. It was not a cake walk but AA was always there to help.
Remember: The most important person at an AA meeting is the newcomer!
Please go to a meeting today!

Rella927

Welcome stillredhot! Glad that you found us-Keep posting there
is a lot of support here! Congrats on the sober time

TorontoGuy28

stillredhot - just touching base to see how you are doing today ?

stillredhot

I definitely don't want to go back to alcohol. I might be a little miserable right now but I was trainwreck just a couple of months ago....actually for the last 2-3 years. I am glad to be here and to know there is plenty of people out there going through the same thing as me.:ghug3

stillredhot

I'm doing alright this morning. I always wake up feeling anxious and not sure what the day is going to bring me as far as how I will feel. It was strange not drinking on the 4th of July especially since there was a huge block party in my neighborhood. I noticed I was getting mad at myself and thinking "why couldn't I have controlled my drinking so I can keep drinking"...but then I remind myself how much everyone enjoys me more sober, especially my girls!

TorontoGuy28

Good for you !! Being a bit angry is very normal at first.. We all went through this..

TorontoGuy28

This keeps me sane as well :

============================

There are two days in every week
about which we should not worry,
Two days which should be kept free
from fear and apprehension.



One of these days is "Yesterday"
with its mistakes and cares,
its faults and blunders,
its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday.
We cannot undo a single act we performed;
we cannot erase a single word we said.
Yesterday is gone.



The other day we should not worry about is "Tomorrow"
with its possible adversities, its burdens,
its large promise and poor performance.
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or
behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow,
for it is yet unborn.



This leaves only one day, "Today",
and anyone can fight the battles of just one day.
It is only when you and I add the burden of those awful eternities, Yesterday, and Tomorrow, that we break down.
It is not the experience of Today that drives people mad,
it is the remorse or bitterness for something
which happened Yesterday and the dread of what
Tomorrow may bring.
Let us, therefore, live but one day at a time

stillredhot

Klynn33

welcome SRH
I found this site in desperation as well - not having anyone that understood (or seemed to care) what I was going through. One of the worst feelings in the world is that of being alone. not good.

This place and the people in it have been great for me and my recovery. (in which I'm doing really well)
and you will too. you're going to be amazed at how much better life is when you start to feel better. and maybe someone here will have just the right advice to give you that extra "kick" to get you out of the house!

stillredhot

I believe it's the constant fatigue that keeps me in the house. Luckily, my daughters are out of school for the summer so I tend to make myself get out and take them to the pool, library, and such. Alcohol is not part of my daily diet anymore. I just a need a shove out the door to take care of myself mentally and emotionally with this disease. On top of finding help for my recovery I'm also nursing myself back to health, not just from alcohol, but from a 6 month period of being absolutely sick which ended in gallbladder surgery a month before I went to detox. I'm one big work in progress!!