Parallels of living with an alcoholic to families of hostages
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Parallels of living with an alcoholic to families of hostages
There is an old saying " alcoholics don't make friends, they take hostages"
We all know about heartache and tragedy on this forum.
"The families often suffer greater psychological damage than the people who were kidnapped," says Olga Lucia Gomez, head of Pais Libre, a nonprofit group that helps families of kidnap victims."
From a U.S. hostage in the Colombian jungle, a marriage proposal - *****! News
The alcoholic lives in his/her own world. Nothing really matters except drinking. It is as if the soul is kidnapped while we(families) try to cope.
Interesting stuff...
We all know about heartache and tragedy on this forum.
"The families often suffer greater psychological damage than the people who were kidnapped," says Olga Lucia Gomez, head of Pais Libre, a nonprofit group that helps families of kidnap victims."
From a U.S. hostage in the Colombian jungle, a marriage proposal - *****! News
The alcoholic lives in his/her own world. Nothing really matters except drinking. It is as if the soul is kidnapped while we(families) try to cope.
Interesting stuff...
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Originally Posted by Barbara52 
Interesting comparison. Except, all us "hostages" can easily take back control of our lives when ever we have had enough of being held back.
It's not really so easy for some Barbara, maybe easier than a hostage situation but not always simple to do.
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Originally Posted by Barbara52
Interesting comparison. Except, all us "hostages" can easily take back control of our lives when ever we have had enough of being held back.
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Givelove I read it the same way-very sad
Hit home for me today as I'm visiting in Florida where I have family-
One brother my A brother who has done so much damage to his life....
I went to see this morning and it was because I needed to see him for myself
as IMHO I feel that it will not be long now before he is no longer with us, sadly.
I sat and spoke with him and told him how much I loved him as he drank 4 cups of
vodka within a half hour in front of me at 9 am. It is the feeling of being helpless to
those we love that makes it so hard. I kept praying for him until the time I walked
out the door.
I will see him one more time before I go as he has made his choices and there is nothing
that I can do-He also told me about the DUI he got last week which now he faces up
to 5 years in prision.
Thank you for this post Steve!
Very enlightening-
Hit home for me today as I'm visiting in Florida where I have family-
One brother my A brother who has done so much damage to his life....
I went to see this morning and it was because I needed to see him for myself
as IMHO I feel that it will not be long now before he is no longer with us, sadly.
I sat and spoke with him and told him how much I loved him as he drank 4 cups of
vodka within a half hour in front of me at 9 am. It is the feeling of being helpless to
those we love that makes it so hard. I kept praying for him until the time I walked
out the door.
I will see him one more time before I go as he has made his choices and there is nothing
that I can do-He also told me about the DUI he got last week which now he faces up
to 5 years in prision.
Thank you for this post Steve!
Very enlightening-
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Sending you hugs, Rella. It is so hard sometimes, when all we seem to have is prayer and hope. I remember long private conversations bargaining with my HP, explaining what a good & gentle person my A sister was, how if she could just escape her alcoholism and find her way back to sobriety, she would be contributing so much to the world, and could HP please see if there were some strings he/she could pull...? A lot like a hostage, really.
Take care of yourself.....
Take care of yourself.....
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Originally Posted by LucyA
It's not really so easy for some Barbara, maybe easier than a hostage situation but not always simple to do.
Yea, it is easy. Easy to start taking steps and actions rather than sitting and taking whatever is being handed out.
Now this form of easy does not mean without effort or without pain and it takes a while to get there. But we all have the keys to unlock our personal hostage situation if we choose to use them. It may take a long time even but we can do this. We are not helpless in our lives.
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Originally Posted by GiveLove
I read Steve's post to mean that an alcoholic's soul is held hostage by alcoholism, while we (the families) are helpless to rescue them, much as the loved ones of a hostage are perfectly helpless to do anything. All we can do is hope and pray that they will somehow be released, or find a way to get home. That was my interpretation, anyway....
My problem is a still struggle with accepting that an addict (what ever the substance) is hostage to that substance and their craving for it. Part of that is because I haven't personally experienced addiction other than to nicotine. Part of me thinks that viewing the addict as a hostage to the substance is removing responsibility. I dunno. Its a tough subject fro me to get my head around.
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Very interesting comparison.
I have used the term "emotional hostage" about my xah and a son for a long time. Both of them used the "I'm going to kill myself" means of keeping me chained to them. For a wife and a mother, hearing those words are beyond painful. They seemingly put their lives in our hands. So......I have to say......no......it's not that easy for some of us.
As far as the addict being a hostage to the substance, for me, it's not hard to see that point of view. Cigarettes, alcohol, drugs.........all can potentially kill you so why on earth do people struggle so hard to give these things up? All of those substances are thieves.......they steal money, they steal time, and they steal our loved ones from us.
Steve, thanks for giving us something to think about.
gentle hugs
I have used the term "emotional hostage" about my xah and a son for a long time. Both of them used the "I'm going to kill myself" means of keeping me chained to them. For a wife and a mother, hearing those words are beyond painful. They seemingly put their lives in our hands. So......I have to say......no......it's not that easy for some of us.
As far as the addict being a hostage to the substance, for me, it's not hard to see that point of view. Cigarettes, alcohol, drugs.........all can potentially kill you so why on earth do people struggle so hard to give these things up? All of those substances are thieves.......they steal money, they steal time, and they steal our loved ones from us.
Steve, thanks for giving us something to think about.
gentle hugs
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