isitme

This has to be a game of lies and manipulation. It’s getting easier and easier to see over time. My question is.. what good does this really do?

Story: Since the “incident” the other week, ABF has started to complain about his hand hurting from what I did to him. Are you kidding me?!?! Is this supposed to make me feel bad? He threatened to kick me in the stomach; I see what I did as protecting myself and my baby. I really don’t feel bad. Why would he continue to bring this up over and over? Doesn’t he realize that each time he brings it up I’m pushed further and further away from him? Does he want me to leave? I know he continually brings up past fights and outcomes. Even from YEARS ago. But why would be continue to bring one up that was so clearly his fault, where he hit me, where he acknowledged the confrontation was his fault. What is he getting out of this? Is he just trying to make me feel bad, or responsible? If so it’s not working.. he’s only making me re-live all the reasons I need to get away from him.

respektingme

Sounds like you're detaching your emotions from him. Perhaps he can sense that and is using pity as a ploy to get your attention. It could also be a diversion from his problem. "Ow, my hand" so now you're looking at his hand and not at his bottle. I'm guessing it's a diversionary tactic.

I don't think he wants you to leave. I was watching Oprah yesterday and there was a woman on whose ex-husband had torched her. Long story short, she is severely deformed and in excrutiating pain. But part of her story was how she listened to what he said to her and molded what he said to be what she wanted to hear, instead of hearing the truth.

She also said, in her experience, once the abuse started, it never stopped. So, if your bf is violent now, do you expect this to change?

Don't be snowed. If anything, please don't do that. It is what it is, and he sounds like he's trying to manipulate you. See if for what it is, not what you wish it was.