The Language of Letting Go July 2
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Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
The Language of Letting Go July 2
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Who Knows Best?
Others do not know what's best for us.
We do not know what's best for others.
It is our job to determine what's best for ourselves.
"I know what you need." . . . "I know what you should do." . . . "Now listen, this is what I think you should be working on right now."
These are audacious statements, beliefs that take us away from how we operate on a spiritual plane of life. Each of us is given the ability to be able to discern and detect our own path, on a daily basis. This is not always easy. We may have to struggle to reach that quiet, still place.
Giving advice, making decisions for others, mapping out their strategy, is not our job. Nor is it their job to direct us. Even if we have a clean contract with someone to help us - such as in a sponsorship relationship - we cannot trust that others always know what is best for us. We are responsible for listening to the information that comes to us. We are responsible for asking for guidance and direction. But it is our responsibility to sift and sort through information, and then listen to ourselves about what is best for us. Nobody can know that but ourselves.
A great gift we can give to others is to be able to trust in them - that they have their own source of guidance and wisdom, that they have the ability to discern what is best for them and the right to find that path by making mistakes and learning.
To trust ourselves to be able to discover - through that same imperfect process of struggle, trial, and error - is a great gift we can give ourselves.
Today, I will remember that we are each given the gift of being able to discover what is best for ourselves. God, help me trust that gift.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go
Who Knows Best?
Others do not know what's best for us.
We do not know what's best for others.
It is our job to determine what's best for ourselves.
"I know what you need." . . . "I know what you should do." . . . "Now listen, this is what I think you should be working on right now."
These are audacious statements, beliefs that take us away from how we operate on a spiritual plane of life. Each of us is given the ability to be able to discern and detect our own path, on a daily basis. This is not always easy. We may have to struggle to reach that quiet, still place.
Giving advice, making decisions for others, mapping out their strategy, is not our job. Nor is it their job to direct us. Even if we have a clean contract with someone to help us - such as in a sponsorship relationship - we cannot trust that others always know what is best for us. We are responsible for listening to the information that comes to us. We are responsible for asking for guidance and direction. But it is our responsibility to sift and sort through information, and then listen to ourselves about what is best for us. Nobody can know that but ourselves.
A great gift we can give to others is to be able to trust in them - that they have their own source of guidance and wisdom, that they have the ability to discern what is best for them and the right to find that path by making mistakes and learning.
To trust ourselves to be able to discover - through that same imperfect process of struggle, trial, and error - is a great gift we can give ourselves.
Today, I will remember that we are each given the gift of being able to discover what is best for ourselves. God, help me trust that gift.
From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation. All rights reserved. No portion of this publication may be reproduced in any manner without the written permission of the publisher.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Motown
Posts: 122
Absolutely love that. Gotta get that book.
I hear it and understand it, but then what is it in me that always feels the need to justify my decisions for myself to other people? Like I need permission or approval to make these decisions for myself? And if someone seems to disagree, I feel bad.
I hear it and understand it, but then what is it in me that always feels the need to justify my decisions for myself to other people? Like I need permission or approval to make these decisions for myself? And if someone seems to disagree, I feel bad.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 369
I'm still working through Copendent No More. I think I'll get this one next. I really like this part:
As a parent, I want this for my kids, so it's particularly important that I learn to let go and trust them to work through things themselves. I see in my STBXAH that his parents did not do that for him, and it's one of the problems he has - he has no idea how to fix something. He sits around waiting for something to change. When it doesn't, he doesn't know what to do.
Edited to add: For my part, I fixed his problems for him when we were together. We always had a parent/child relationship. Neither one of us trusted him to fix anything. I took that responsibility and he let me. Never again!
Thank you for sharing Rella!
A great gift we can give to others is to be able to trust in them - that they have their own source of guidance and wisdom, that they have the ability to discern what is best for them and the right to find that path by making mistakes and learning.
Edited to add: For my part, I fixed his problems for him when we were together. We always had a parent/child relationship. Neither one of us trusted him to fix anything. I took that responsibility and he let me. Never again!
Thank you for sharing Rella!
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