Rough night
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 126
Rough night
Went to the memorial service for my AF's dad. He's doing ok under the circumstances but it was a very awkward experience. One of his friends, who is cocaine addicted, had a panic fit and asked me to keep her company outside, she just couldn't stand being at the service (without alcohol that is). I went with her because my friend encouraged it and because I was feeling very awkward myself.
But she then proceeded to complain about him, and question me about why I had been distancing myself. She really was more concerned with herself than with my friend. The whole thing was extremely uncomfortable. I then had to answer a lot of questions about my "disappearance" and why i stopped acting.I stayed with my friend for a while after that to support him but there was a lot of discomfort.
I'm glad I was able to be there for him but the whole thing has me confused and empty, still feel like I'm caught between worlds. Sorry if this is confusing but I'm confused myself.
But she then proceeded to complain about him, and question me about why I had been distancing myself. She really was more concerned with herself than with my friend. The whole thing was extremely uncomfortable. I then had to answer a lot of questions about my "disappearance" and why i stopped acting.I stayed with my friend for a while after that to support him but there was a lot of discomfort.
I'm glad I was able to be there for him but the whole thing has me confused and empty, still feel like I'm caught between worlds. Sorry if this is confusing but I'm confused myself.
Last edited by Angelus; 07-01-2008 at 08:31 AM. Reason: spelling
When Pigs Fly
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: california
Posts: 894
Just take a deep breath, and remember why you distanced yourself. I think it was great that you supported him at this time of need, and I know seeing hm stirs up many feelings, but just focus on your recovery and all will be fine
Recovering Codependant
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Liverpool, Great Britain
Posts: 1,335
Reasons to stay away from people in active addiction....
You have had a taster of his world, not nice. Gather yourself up and keep moving forward. Focus on yourself, so what if a cocaine/alcohol addict cannot understand why you need to protect yourself, who was she to start preaching to you?! She obviously has it soooo tougther, pulleeeese!
lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Originally Posted by Angelus 
... One of his friends, who is cocaine addicted, had a panic fit and asked me to keep her company outside, she just couldn't stand being at the service (without alcohol that is). I went with her because my friend encouraged it and because I was feeling very awkward myself.
But she then proceeded to complain about him, and question me about why I had been distancing myself. She really was more concerned with herself than with my friend. The whole thing was extremely uncomfortable. I then had to answer a lot of questions about my "disappearance" and why i stopped acting.I stayed with my friend for a while after that to support him but there was a lot of discomfort.
I'm glad I was able to be there for him but the whole thing has me confused and empty, still feel like I'm caught between worlds. Sorry if this is confusing but I'm confused myself.
But she then proceeded to complain about him, and question me about why I had been distancing myself. She really was more concerned with herself than with my friend. The whole thing was extremely uncomfortable. I then had to answer a lot of questions about my "disappearance" and why i stopped acting.I stayed with my friend for a while after that to support him but there was a lot of discomfort.
I'm glad I was able to be there for him but the whole thing has me confused and empty, still feel like I'm caught between worlds. Sorry if this is confusing but I'm confused myself.
lily xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Angelus 
Sorry that you are going through this....yes breathe....
Remember that you went because you felt the need to do so and you did....
IMHO it is not the other friends business or was it the place to discuss that-it is over so try to move on from that.
If you feel that you want to explain to your friend then do so....totally up to YOU!
And yes remember why you put the distance there to begin with
Keep that focus on you!
Sorry that you are going through this....yes breathe....
Remember that you went because you felt the need to do so and you did....
IMHO it is not the other friends business or was it the place to discuss that-it is over so try to move on from that.
If you feel that you want to explain to your friend then do so....totally up to YOU!
And yes remember why you put the distance there to begin with
Keep that focus on you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Ah yes Angelus the active addicts will just stir up drama anytime, anyplace!! Even at a memorial service - which is dramatic enough and uncomfortable enough.
It's OK to just sit with your confusion...from what you wrote it sounds actually like you stayed pretty clear-headed, didn't get sucked in, and did what you set out to do which was show your respect by attending the service.
Easy does it!
B.
It's OK to just sit with your confusion...from what you wrote it sounds actually like you stayed pretty clear-headed, didn't get sucked in, and did what you set out to do which was show your respect by attending the service.
Easy does it!
B.
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