DrivingVacation

Ive bounced around here for a while in April...made it two days without Oxy. Well, as you can guess in those months my use not only continued, but increased. Now I am at a point in my life where I feel worthless. I am 25 years old, living at home with my parents, no job etc. I graduated from College in Dec., for the past 7 months I have done nothing except eat pills and not look for a job. The only reason I havent moved away and grown up so to speak, is because I havent wanted to be more than a phone call and quick ride away from friends and dope. Pathetic. I have lost a GF of 7 years during this time, one I had planned to marry because "I couldn't get my **** together" She had no idea about the extent of my drug use. I know by staying in my current location the urge to use is going to be there, and unfortunately my whole day has been about getting pills, instead of looking for a job, apartment and other responsible things. I cant do this anymore, this is making me so depressed that I dont want to get out of bed in the morning and at times I dont want to live. I want to detox so that I can be able to move forward. I need help and advice. I guess I am just feeling completely empty and alone. Thanks.
Im coming off 80-110 Mg of Oxycodone per day.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

You are definitely not alone!

I'm a recovering alcoholic, but I can totally relate to the emptiness and loneliness you are experiencing.

The good news is that you are here and there is help. My suggestion is to talk to your dr and get his advice about how to move forward. You might want to go to a detox or treatment centre or you might be alright at home. It sounds like you know you are going to need to move in order to begin recovery, because there are so many triggers at your home.

You can do this!

CarolD

Welcome Back to SR!

I agree with Anna....you may need professional help
to be both clean and safe.
.

DrivingVacation

I guess my biggest concern is what to do with myself in sobriety..I dont know anything besides being in altered state of mind..I think that is the reason I have relapsed before. Simply put: I just dont know what to do with myself sober. Its almost like I dont like the person I am, but at the same time I have no idea who I really am...Does that make any sense? Im just so confused and scared. I just know I cant go on the way I have been.

HideorSeek

Hi and welcome to SR. Early recovery is a very scary time, IMHO. One has lots of "new" emotions to deal with as well as day to day living without the crutch we have used for so long. But believe in your ability to overcome these obstacles, believe in yourself, because in your heart of hearts you are a good person who has made poor choices. The past is the past, the future will take care of itself. Wouldn't anything be better than how you're feeling right now? These scary feelings WILL pass and each day of sobriety will be better than the last, not only empirically but also in your sense of accomplishment!

Visit here often. You can't find a better bunch!:ghug3

Aysha

I cant even believe I am going to say this.
Because it took so long for people to get it through my head.
Thats why meetings are essential to most addicts.
Notice I did not say all.
To learn what to do with themselves in recovery.
How to prevent relapse and so on.
If not meetings. Some type of program set in place.
First thing I would do is see a Dr before stopping.
Good luck and glad you are here.

TTOSBT

It is time to find out who you are and what you like, dislike, etc.
What can and will you do sober? EVERYTHING!!!!
Yes, please get to a doctor. I do not know your relationship but can you tell your parents and ask for help?