Angelus

So I dropped out of the play and the writer was very kind and understanding (I hid from my email for a day and a half)

Then, my AF's father passed away. I sent my condolences and offer of help and he sent me a response that kind of sounded like a form letter (it may have been if he's getting a lot of messages)....I'm going to stop by the receiving, but everything's so weird right now because i stopped spending time with him right before his dad got sick...

I suspect he wants the kind of relationship I can't give right now

I'm still feeling like I'm "in the hallway"...some days are good, but today I'm sleep deprived and panicky again.

peaceteach

Change is difficult, but you sound like you are moving forward rather than staying behind, Angelus. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other. The way it worked for me was, very slowly, I began to realize I was having more good days than bad ones, and when a bad one hit, I knew that it was okay to just take care of myself VERY WELL that day and that things would look better the next morning. It is a process, and we have our "slips" in our confidence and believing that what we are doing is right. Trust your gut, avoid any post-viewing wakes at bars with the guy, and it will just be an otherwise regular day for you.

Bernadette

Hey Angelus--
I am so glad the fallout from the writer wasn't harsh. Tuck that away in the memory bank for use before the next "dreaded" phone call!

Oooph, the timing of your friend's father's passing does make it hard for you emotionally. But you've responded and that's the decent human thing to do. You simply must be clear in your own mind about what kind of future relationship/contact you can have with your friend. It will never be what it was, right? You've changed! (yay for you!)

I read this the other day in the F&F of Substance Abusers forum - it brought me some peace of mind - maybe it'll help you too--

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ng-slumps.html

Peace,
B.