Big Update from .... BigSIS! :)
On a tear
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Big Update from .... BigSIS! :)
Wow... addiction can bring so dang much CHAOS. I never even realize how much there is, until I stop paddling and take a look around. Writing this out for you all, I can see why my serenity has slipped a bit, lately. 
For those who don't know me, both my kids are addicts, and it was my daughter's meth addiction that eventually got me into Alanon. My sister and mom are both alcoholic, but sober (yay! Sis is still doing great... and I am VERY proud of her - she graduates from college next year!!!), even though it was sister's meth/alcohol addictions that first brought me to SR. I am an alcoholic, sober since 1983 - but I didn't find a 12-step program until 2004, when I joined Alanon. I married an alcoholic in 1983 and it was his suggestion that we quit drinking in order to focus on being parents that was the catalyst for my quitting.
Today....
Son is getting a bit worse. He sold his trailer in the park that is near my mom, and moved in with his druggie friends at a "drug corner" trailer park.
He wrecked our car... one week after we loaned it to him because his truck gets 8 mph or something. No one was hurt, but he rear ended a car when he looked down for a minute (loading a pipe, perhaps...smile) and didn't react fast enough to stop (slowed reactions? hmmmmm).
He then lost his job one week later for too many missed days.
Overall, he is heading back to where he was last time, right before he went to rehab. He knows I have a number for free rehab help - when he wants it. He doesn't get angry with me, but I also know not to push it on him. HP is in charge of the timing on this one.
Daughter is living with us - oh what chaos THAT brings. She is back home after wrecking our other car (hit a deer) then going back out again... this time, we filed for custody of the kids, and she got herself BOOKED into a rehab before she even attempted to come home.
But there is conflict between her and my husband over how to raise the kids. She is less particular than we are (allowing babies to run around with a sippy cup of koolaid, instead of putting him in a high chair to drink - that sort of thing). And it causes a lot of fiction.
The good news is - she goes to rehab on THURSDAY!!! The bad news is - she is not taking the kids with her. The original plan was to get a rehab bed in a place for moms and kids... but she has been on the waiting list for over a month, and obviously needed something sooner, not later.
So, even though I am going to school and have a second level job interview on Friday and MIGHT get to start a new job (fingers crossed), I also have to figure out day-care for the month she is gone. And I am not sure she will be allowed to come back home afterward... she and her dad just fight too much.
School is good - I got an A in Business Law and the HIPAA class teacher asked to keep a copy of my research paper because it was the best she had seen in the 5-6 years she has been teaching the class... did my little ego a LOT of good! Ok, so I am still struggling with the Algebra class, but I got an extension through the end of summer to get it done. And I have Psych 101 online starting tonight.
Also - I signed up for a DRAWING class... just for me! I can't even draw good stick figure - so this should be a REAL learning experience!
So yeah, life is full and sometimes not fun... but overall, I am happy and fulfilled. I attended a 4th step workshop at the end of May and shared a 5th step with my sponsor in June. I was the speaker at a local AA Speaker meeting - and that was very enlightening. Seems my HP had a different agenda than I did for what part of my story to talk about... but it was all good, and sponsor and I were able to talk a bit about that, as well.
I get in here when I can, and miss you all very much when I can't. What I know today is that things CAN and DO get better... there ARE miracles, and they are often NOT what I expected or planned for. Alanon has given me this awareness. For those who have not tried Alanon or Naranon yet, I urge you to give some meetings a try.
((hugs))
For those who don't know me, both my kids are addicts, and it was my daughter's meth addiction that eventually got me into Alanon. My sister and mom are both alcoholic, but sober (yay! Sis is still doing great... and I am VERY proud of her - she graduates from college next year!!!), even though it was sister's meth/alcohol addictions that first brought me to SR. I am an alcoholic, sober since 1983 - but I didn't find a 12-step program until 2004, when I joined Alanon. I married an alcoholic in 1983 and it was his suggestion that we quit drinking in order to focus on being parents that was the catalyst for my quitting.
Today....
Son is getting a bit worse. He sold his trailer in the park that is near my mom, and moved in with his druggie friends at a "drug corner" trailer park.
He wrecked our car... one week after we loaned it to him because his truck gets 8 mph or something. No one was hurt, but he rear ended a car when he looked down for a minute (loading a pipe, perhaps...smile) and didn't react fast enough to stop (slowed reactions? hmmmmm).
He then lost his job one week later for too many missed days.
Overall, he is heading back to where he was last time, right before he went to rehab. He knows I have a number for free rehab help - when he wants it. He doesn't get angry with me, but I also know not to push it on him. HP is in charge of the timing on this one.
Daughter is living with us - oh what chaos THAT brings. She is back home after wrecking our other car (hit a deer) then going back out again... this time, we filed for custody of the kids, and she got herself BOOKED into a rehab before she even attempted to come home.
But there is conflict between her and my husband over how to raise the kids. She is less particular than we are (allowing babies to run around with a sippy cup of koolaid, instead of putting him in a high chair to drink - that sort of thing). And it causes a lot of fiction.
The good news is - she goes to rehab on THURSDAY!!! The bad news is - she is not taking the kids with her. The original plan was to get a rehab bed in a place for moms and kids... but she has been on the waiting list for over a month, and obviously needed something sooner, not later.
So, even though I am going to school and have a second level job interview on Friday and MIGHT get to start a new job (fingers crossed), I also have to figure out day-care for the month she is gone. And I am not sure she will be allowed to come back home afterward... she and her dad just fight too much.
School is good - I got an A in Business Law and the HIPAA class teacher asked to keep a copy of my research paper because it was the best she had seen in the 5-6 years she has been teaching the class... did my little ego a LOT of good! Ok, so I am still struggling with the Algebra class, but I got an extension through the end of summer to get it done. And I have Psych 101 online starting tonight.
Also - I signed up for a DRAWING class... just for me! I can't even draw good stick figure - so this should be a REAL learning experience!
So yeah, life is full and sometimes not fun... but overall, I am happy and fulfilled. I attended a 4th step workshop at the end of May and shared a 5th step with my sponsor in June. I was the speaker at a local AA Speaker meeting - and that was very enlightening. Seems my HP had a different agenda than I did for what part of my story to talk about... but it was all good, and sponsor and I were able to talk a bit about that, as well.
I get in here when I can, and miss you all very much when I can't. What I know today is that things CAN and DO get better... there ARE miracles, and they are often NOT what I expected or planned for. Alanon has given me this awareness. For those who have not tried Alanon or Naranon yet, I urge you to give some meetings a try.
((hugs))
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,307
Now THAT is an update! Thanks for sharing! You helped me so much in your replies to my posts 6 months ago.... and all that you mentioned in your post here about sticking within your boundaries and doing things for YOU... is totally inspirational!
WOW.... a drawing class! How fun!!!
Congrats on the paper! That is a wonderful compliment!
You'll have to scan some of your drawings and post them on here! hahaha ... now that is courage! hee hee
Thanks again for the update..... OH.... I have my 18 month old nephew with me this week.... and he is not allowed free roam of the home..... right now he is in his stroller in the family room.... lol ..... and even my 8 and 9 year old boys aren't allowed to walk around the house with open containers or eat outside of the kitchen! I'm such a meanie.... but it prevents the insanity in the home from happening when I find crumbs and spills in the living areas!
Right????? RIGHT! lol
WOW.... a drawing class! How fun!!!
Congrats on the paper! That is a wonderful compliment!
You'll have to scan some of your drawings and post them on here! hahaha ... now that is courage! hee hee
Thanks again for the update..... OH.... I have my 18 month old nephew with me this week.... and he is not allowed free roam of the home..... right now he is in his stroller in the family room.... lol ..... and even my 8 and 9 year old boys aren't allowed to walk around the house with open containers or eat outside of the kitchen! I'm such a meanie.... but it prevents the insanity in the home from happening when I find crumbs and spills in the living areas!
Right????? RIGHT! lol
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
((((Sis)))
What a shining example you are of how while all may not be perfect, its just as it needs to be...for now.
And that drawing class...piece of cake for a creative soul such as you.
(Notice I'm not mentioning the four letter M*th class... )
(((Hugs)))
What a shining example you are of how while all may not be perfect, its just as it needs to be...for now.
And that drawing class...piece of cake for a creative soul such as you.
(Notice I'm not mentioning the four letter M*th class...
)(((Hugs)))
Professional Hanger On'er
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Way out of Town, MI
Posts: 103
You are a good bit inspiration as I try to get my hubby and grandkids under the same roof sanely. We were told today it is going to be months before the babies leave. We will take this week by week and do the best we can. That is what we are all doing, isn't it?
Thanks!
Thanks!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 62
Congrats! I always read your posts because of our similar names
I get a lot of surprised looks at counselling (both individual/group) because it's not often siblings get so involved with an addicted sibling. From what you've written, you've seen it all... but it looks like things are headed in the right direction for your family.
It sounds like you've let your family members figure everything out on their own. That's great... for so long I thought that I could fix my sibling's problems by catering to them. I was so happy to read your story and it's reinforced what I need to do.
I get a lot of surprised looks at counselling (both individual/group) because it's not often siblings get so involved with an addicted sibling. From what you've written, you've seen it all... but it looks like things are headed in the right direction for your family.
It sounds like you've let your family members figure everything out on their own. That's great... for so long I thought that I could fix my sibling's problems by catering to them. I was so happy to read your story and it's reinforced what I need to do.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
BigSis, Thanks for the update. I think of you and family daily. I am so glad that your daughter is giving rehab another try. Maybe this time she will hear something that will make recovery stick. It is good that you are doing things for you. College sounds like it keeps you busy and that is a good thing. Now add the grandkids and you are going to be one busy gramma. Sending my best to you. Hugs and prayers, Marle
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
((((BigSis))))
Thanks for the inspiring update and congrats on the A!! I always envision you becoming a famous author...no trashy novel, something inspiring and relvant. So that research paper does not surprise me in the least.
I'm excited for you about the drawing class. Funny, just this weekend when I was in a book store, I bought a "how to" book on drawing and a sketch pad. I have no innate ability, but I have always yearned for a form of artistic expression...
I'm happy to hear your daughter's research was shortlived and that she will try rehab again. I hope it is her time and that her brother's lightbulb moment is any day now too. Hugs to you and the whole BigSis clan, with special squishy hugs to those darling babies.
Thanks for the inspiring update and congrats on the A!! I always envision you becoming a famous author...no trashy novel, something inspiring and relvant. So that research paper does not surprise me in the least.
I'm excited for you about the drawing class. Funny, just this weekend when I was in a book store, I bought a "how to" book on drawing and a sketch pad. I have no innate ability, but I have always yearned for a form of artistic expression...
I'm happy to hear your daughter's research was shortlived and that she will try rehab again. I hope it is her time and that her brother's lightbulb moment is any day now too. Hugs to you and the whole BigSis clan, with special squishy hugs to those darling babies.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: In my little piece of heaven
Posts: 2,870
I am sitting here with this big dopey grin on my face, Sis... I am so happy for you and inspired by your recovery.
What lucky grandsons you have... you and Mr Big are such good examples for them. Solid recovery, responsible parenting, taking care of you....
WOW !
Cats
What lucky grandsons you have... you and Mr Big are such good examples for them. Solid recovery, responsible parenting, taking care of you....
WOW !
Cats
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