I'm out and happy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
I'm out and happy
Hey all. How are you all doing? I have been sneaking in to take a peak most everyday if I can. I have been moving most of the last 2 weeks. Of course the hottest 2 weeks up here in northern CA. But, it's done, I'm exhausted, and I'm so very happy.
I'm in a little rental. It's a happy feel good place! I NEVER thought I'd get here.
AH is still doing what he does. Now he's crying, it's a hard week and will be for the next few weeks, etc. I'm sorry, I sound so callous, but what he's upset about, I think, has very little to do with me and more to do with his world changing when he doesn't want it to - his surroundings, his "look", all of it. Well, I'm not arm candy, window dressing, whatever you want to call it, anymore.
Last week the DVD player he unhooked for me to take was lacking the instruction book. When I pulled out the instruction book, from where I kept it, a blister pack of pills came out with it. It just made me sad for a minute.
I spent my weekend unpacking, friends coming and going - no one had to ask if my AH didn't like them or didn't like them being there, etc. Friends could come, stay, visit, go, eat, drink, etc... It was SOOOOO liberating! It's my space, and my friends are welcome in my space, I am NOT the anti-social one. I am NOT the one that no one likes! My space is alive and feels so good.
I just wanted to say hello, let you know where I was, and just how right my choice is for me. It's true, if you follow your heart and do what you need to do for you, you will FEEL it! I never knew just how much!
Hugs all around!
I'm in a little rental. It's a happy feel good place! I NEVER thought I'd get here.
AH is still doing what he does. Now he's crying, it's a hard week and will be for the next few weeks, etc. I'm sorry, I sound so callous, but what he's upset about, I think, has very little to do with me and more to do with his world changing when he doesn't want it to - his surroundings, his "look", all of it. Well, I'm not arm candy, window dressing, whatever you want to call it, anymore.
Last week the DVD player he unhooked for me to take was lacking the instruction book. When I pulled out the instruction book, from where I kept it, a blister pack of pills came out with it. It just made me sad for a minute.
I spent my weekend unpacking, friends coming and going - no one had to ask if my AH didn't like them or didn't like them being there, etc. Friends could come, stay, visit, go, eat, drink, etc... It was SOOOOO liberating! It's my space, and my friends are welcome in my space, I am NOT the anti-social one. I am NOT the one that no one likes! My space is alive and feels so good.
I just wanted to say hello, let you know where I was, and just how right my choice is for me. It's true, if you follow your heart and do what you need to do for you, you will FEEL it! I never knew just how much!
Hugs all around!
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
Yea you! What a celebration. The freedom must feel like a huge release - and to feel your life filling with friends that can now feel welcome in your home - wow! Welcome home, huh? I'm sure that your AH is going to be singing the blues. You are an awesome woman and he knows it.
Glad that you are doing well and that you checked in. Keep us posted on how you are doing and how the adjustment to living happy, joyous, and free goes!
Hugs
Glad that you are doing well and that you checked in. Keep us posted on how you are doing and how the adjustment to living happy, joyous, and free goes!
Hugs
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Welcome to the rest of your life...juST as you want it to be.
You sound optimistic about your decision...good for you.
Change can be scary, but only if we let it.
Sounds like you are ready, willing and able for change.
You sound optimistic about your decision...good for you.
Change can be scary, but only if we let it.
Sounds like you are ready, willing and able for change.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 1,906
AWW - CW - I'm so happy for you! I hope to be where you are sometime. I'm a total loser @ support because AH just made one of my worst nightmares come true - he was fired. You have been so helpful to me from day 1 here. I am so happy you've found your way. You've had a long road to get where you are. Keep your strength and believe in yourself. You should be proud!! 
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
Labrador - (((hugs))) I'm sorry you're not feeling good! Keep doing your work on YOU! I know, from almost a year of hard solid work, that I'm where I need and want to be. You will get there too. Sometimes we have to do what we HAVE to do before we do what we need or want to, I realize this, and it can't be easy when that is the case. I have faith that you will find your happiness tho, I really truly do, with or without the A in your life! You do deserve happiness and healthiness. I'm really just discovering what that's like!
Tonite I went to a friends for din and she's only known me living here and with my AH. Another friend of hers stopped by and we were all talking and I think I shocked her. I shocked myself almost, remembering who I was, the fun I used to have, the friends and acceptance of life, change and new things. It was good to remember those things.
Callie. I read about your AH losing his job, etc. I'm sorry for what you're going thru. I hope for you too for this all to come out in a better place for you and your kids. I know the feeling of hanging on to what you've worked for, but without kids - I can't imagine. I send you hugs and prayers that you get to a place where you can find peace and happiness!
Good luck to everyone - this is not an easy road. I'm not going anywhere - that's for sure. I still have so much work to do during this next phase - not sure what's going to come up, but I'm sure it's not over for me in a lot of ways, but now I am definitely free to work on me - and therefore much more accessible to others!
Love and hugs to all!
Tonite I went to a friends for din and she's only known me living here and with my AH. Another friend of hers stopped by and we were all talking and I think I shocked her. I shocked myself almost, remembering who I was, the fun I used to have, the friends and acceptance of life, change and new things. It was good to remember those things.
Callie. I read about your AH losing his job, etc. I'm sorry for what you're going thru. I hope for you too for this all to come out in a better place for you and your kids. I know the feeling of hanging on to what you've worked for, but without kids - I can't imagine. I send you hugs and prayers that you get to a place where you can find peace and happiness!
Good luck to everyone - this is not an easy road. I'm not going anywhere - that's for sure. I still have so much work to do during this next phase - not sure what's going to come up, but I'm sure it's not over for me in a lot of ways, but now I am definitely free to work on me - and therefore much more accessible to others!
Love and hugs to all!
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
What a wonderful post about hope for a better future and making the changes needed to move on.
I'm happy for you and can hear the excitement of "new beginnings" in your voice.
The image of Mary Tyler Moore throwing her hat in the air comes to mind
I'm happy for you and can hear the excitement of "new beginnings" in your voice.
The image of Mary Tyler Moore throwing her hat in the air comes to mind
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 103
"I spent my weekend unpacking, friends coming and going - no one had to ask if my AH didn't like them or didn't like them being there, etc."
My friends have said that to me soooo many times,....even my mom!
I am so happy for you! You are an inspiration for me. Your decision is one we all face and wonder about. You have inspired me, kept me focused, and helped me keep my chin up! I can remember you saying to me....one foot in front of the other!
Keep posting and letting us know how it is going.
Dianne
My friends have said that to me soooo many times,....even my mom!
I am so happy for you! You are an inspiration for me. Your decision is one we all face and wonder about. You have inspired me, kept me focused, and helped me keep my chin up! I can remember you saying to me....one foot in front of the other!
Keep posting and letting us know how it is going.
Dianne
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,287
Hey CW 
Didn't want to let this go without sending my good thoughts and hugs for you!
It is so great to hear you are all done moving out and into your new place! I'm sooooo happy for you. It took a long time, but you made it, just like we knew you would!
It's also great to hear that the "old" you (and I mean that in no way relating to age, LOL) is coming back! What a gift that is -- to find yourself again! I hope you smile often and laugh every single day now!!!
8
Didn't want to let this go without sending my good thoughts and hugs for you!
It is so great to hear you are all done moving out and into your new place! I'm sooooo happy for you. It took a long time, but you made it, just like we knew you would!
It's also great to hear that the "old" you (and I mean that in no way relating to age, LOL) is coming back! What a gift that is -- to find yourself again! I hope you smile often and laugh every single day now!!!
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