mle-sober

This past weekend, I went to a big wedding out of town. It was family on my husband's side. I felt so anxious in so many ways.

Anxious about relating to my in-laws in large numbers and small without alcohol. Anxious about being sociable without alcohol. Anxious about being at a hotel without alcohol. About the rehearsal dinner without alcohol. About the reception and the toasts without alcohol. About the BBQ afterward the next day without alcohol. About my kids being rowdy and me without alcohol. Etc. Etc. Heck, I was anxious about going to the bathroom alone!

But I made a plan. I worked with my husband and he was completely supportive and stuck by my side the whole time. I never had to go to the bar to get a cranberry juice. I got to dance with my husband. My kids were sweet and well-behaved. I found a meeting for the next day and went. They were welcoming and it was a good meeting about "fear" of all appropriate things!

And driving home, I felt so, so happy and proud that I hadn't drank. And I could tell my husband was proud of me too.

I had this funny realization. The last two weddings I'd gone to were big weddings with people I cared about - but I was drinking heavily at each. I thought I was "partying" because it was a party. But I was miserable and I really didn't enjoy myself. I had all kinds of feelings about being left out of stuff and not appreciated for what I'd done and self consciouness about feeling fat and unattractive, etc. I began to think I just didn't like weddings.

But this wedding, when I wasn't "partying" with alcohol and I didn't even know the couple that well (although my son was the ring bearer!) I had way, way more fun! I really enjoyed myself! How ironic is that!?

I feel like I've turned a corner. I came home and did the first part of my fourth step (the 1st 3 columns). I'd been procrastinating and all of a sudden - boom - I could do it.

I know this feeling of appreciation and peace ebbs and flows. But I sure am happy to be in the flow part right now!

SoBearish

LibertyorDeath

That is so awesome, mle-sober! You inspire me. I too have a wedding coming up...out of state...my husband's family. I am working on a plan to enjoy myself and my family without compromising my sobriety. Your post has helped me! I am so glad you shared! The part about how proud you felt afterwards and how much you enjoyed yourself were particularly inspiring.

HeavyJ

Good for you! I am very proud of you, I had a similar weekend, out around all sorts of alcohol and I didn't have a drop. I'm going to hang this one on my fridge!

Thank you for sharing!

Heavy

Rowan

Thanks for sharing your experience with us all - proof that it can be done, and we can STILL enjoy ourselves.

Way to go!

four812

i haven't been to a wedding in a long time. I was drunk at my own wedding 10 minutes after i arrived at the reception. a wedding for me was always time to get drunk.

i can relate to your situation and i salute your sucess over the weekend!

Kristina

Wow, congratulations not only on your success but on your clarity and enjoyment of a new situation! I find this post inspiring because I have a wedding to go to in a few weeks, and I'm nervous because I have always gotten drunk, drunk, drunk at weddings.

Thank you so much for sharing, and good job!

mle-sober

Thank you for all your responses! I just have to say something about SoBearish's reply with the picture of all those 50's people applauding. Today, I have found myself mesmorized by that moving picture and can sit in front of it for long times just enjoying the personal-just-for-me applause of strangers!

I have several quotes posted in my house to help me try to improve my self image and remember that I'm not a big loser. I think if I just sit in front of that image every day for about 3 minutes I can take those quotes down!

Anna

It does take a lot of positive self-talk to get through recovery.

But, none of us are losers as long as we continue to work on recovery.

22NGONE

MLE,

Way to go and glad to see you're getting on better with your husband! Again, great job on a well thought out plan and great execution.

John

Gringo75

WOO HOOOOO!!! That's flippin' AWESOME! Keep it up!!!

)))))HUGGLES!(((((

warrens

E

You are so special to me. You rock, lady. Take care of yourself first. But, I may just need your special "touch" in the days to come.

I'm OK, but could sure use some affirmation that I'm worthy of consuming O2 these days.

Well done, MLE. I am so very happy for you. You can and will not only endure, but get better and better and better. And by doing so will demonstrate to others that the sober life is in so many ways the better life. Better because "we are there" to enjoy it.

Peace and serenity, lady.

warren

mle-sober

Oh Warren! I'm glad you posted. I was hoping you were getting back into the swing of things after your ordeals. You are so, so, so needed here and valued in many ways - by me for sure. And I know by many, many others too...

What's going on in the days to come?

Maybe you should start a new thread and tell us about it? You've helped me so much. I would hope I could help you in some small way, at least.

Klynn33

good for you!! that's quite the accomplishment - and hearing you (and others) say you can do it, gives me hope that I'll be able to do it soon too!!

and I love the above that you said about putting notes around the house....I might steal that idea....

CarolD

Thanks for sharing your days of victory with us MLE