SEX?....Are you kidding me???
Let It Begin With ME
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Saint Clair Shores, MI
Posts: 42
SEX?....Are you kidding me??? He's not happy don't you know! He wants sex?! Seriously? I'm trying to figure out how to leave with no job and three kids, and he wants sex!! :wtf2 I'm struggling just to like him right now!
Hurt again
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Anywhere but where I want to be.
Posts: 39
My husband is the same way, either he's at work or drunk and high on anxiety meds. When he is able to talk without slurring he blames me for the lack of sex. I can't believe he actually thinks I would like to even kiss him since he can't remember to even brush his teeth.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
prayers of comfort for both of you -
When my AH is active there is no physical relationship between us either.
And when he questions that, I explain to him (of course when he is as sober as possible) that I am unable to have a physical relationship with someone I don't trust and don't feel a true intimacy with.
I have heard other recovering AA speakers talk about it they could keep the "sexual relationship" going with their spouse, then in their mind they could justify that everything was still ok. Of course that was 1 of many things that was part of their denial.
I know this may not be the situation for all persons living with active A's but this is just my e, s, & h.
Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita
When my AH is active there is no physical relationship between us either.
And when he questions that, I explain to him (of course when he is as sober as possible) that I am unable to have a physical relationship with someone I don't trust and don't feel a true intimacy with.
I have heard other recovering AA speakers talk about it they could keep the "sexual relationship" going with their spouse, then in their mind they could justify that everything was still ok. Of course that was 1 of many things that was part of their denial.
I know this may not be the situation for all persons living with active A's but this is just my e, s, & h.
Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: raytown,mo
Posts: 107
My ex addict has problems with meth and booze. When he is using that's all he can think about. He couldn't get that sex with him using scared me. He was very rough. Plus, who knew were he'd been. When he was using it didn't matter who it was.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 282
Nope he's not kidding and neither was my XABF. Because of the lies and put downs and me not realizing that I was not the whole problem my sense of self and my view of sex is distorted beyond repair.
For so long I felt like there was something not right. But I was convinced...as he convinced me...that I "hated sex". I knew it wasn't really the case but what else could it be? He even went so far as to tell me I should "become" a lesbian since i didnt want to have sex with him!!! I didn't want to because I did not feel that he cared for me at all. Which I was also told was wrong...so yeah..its all about sex i guess and now I never want to bother anyway with anyone else.
Do I know now that he was trying to manipulate me? YES! Does it make the years of snide comments and ridicule any better? NO!
For so long I felt like there was something not right. But I was convinced...as he convinced me...that I "hated sex". I knew it wasn't really the case but what else could it be? He even went so far as to tell me I should "become" a lesbian since i didnt want to have sex with him!!! I didn't want to because I did not feel that he cared for me at all. Which I was also told was wrong...so yeah..its all about sex i guess and now I never want to bother anyway with anyone else.
Do I know now that he was trying to manipulate me? YES! Does it make the years of snide comments and ridicule any better? NO!
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