Just need to vent
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Just need to vent
SIGH...Sorry but I need to get some things off my chest.
I cant with grams because she is yelling at me not to wake the baby.
I have been feeling really good since I came out of my whatever that was last week.
Pretty positive and ready to move forward.
Finding little things everday that bring me joy besides getting high as you have seen in my little thread I made.
Well yesterday my stupid ass lawyer calls me for the first time ever since January and leaves a message telling me I have to be in court in 4 hours for that crap that happened at the job last year.
He says I have to be there and they are going to drop it. Well thats good right? Wrong. I didnt get the message until after court started. I have called this idiot numerous times since Jan and he has not once returned any of my calls. Who does that? Calls 4 hours before a court appearance and leaves a message... oh by the way be there in 4 hours. I panicked and called the court and they said they have been trying to get ahold of me for months and sent me summons after summons. Well I havent received any calls or mail from any of them. They sure didnt have a hard time getting ahold of me yesterday. So it was ajourned until July 17th. Then after over a year all that nightmare will be over.
Today I get a cutoff notice from the cable..phone ..and internet. Luckily they will give me until the 3rd to pay the balance in full. Which is $522. How I will get it is beyond me. But it bought me time until then.
My Lyme disease wont go away. I have been on antibiotics for 3 months now and it just wont go away. My knees are in so much pain and my Dr is oblivious to it all. Take 800 Ibuprofen. I been doing that. It is not helping. Ok so he says take it with tylenol too. WHatever. Why dont he take some tests and see WTF is wrong and why it is getting worse?
ANd looking for a job. I am running into the same ole background check BS again. My past is so colorful. How do people ever outlive their wrongs?
I have noone to blame but myself. But good Lord. It seems when it comes. It comes like a freakin freight train.
Is it possible to hit me with just a little grief at a time?
Anyway. No I am not looking for sympathy. And I sure as hell dont feel sorry for myslef.
I know I am the cause of all of this and take full responsibility for it all.
I just needed to rant before I lost it.
Thank you for letting me be a baby for a minute.
This too shall pass. But right now I just want to scream.
I cant with grams because she is yelling at me not to wake the baby.
I have been feeling really good since I came out of my whatever that was last week.
Pretty positive and ready to move forward.
Finding little things everday that bring me joy besides getting high as you have seen in my little thread I made.
Well yesterday my stupid ass lawyer calls me for the first time ever since January and leaves a message telling me I have to be in court in 4 hours for that crap that happened at the job last year.
He says I have to be there and they are going to drop it. Well thats good right? Wrong. I didnt get the message until after court started. I have called this idiot numerous times since Jan and he has not once returned any of my calls. Who does that? Calls 4 hours before a court appearance and leaves a message... oh by the way be there in 4 hours. I panicked and called the court and they said they have been trying to get ahold of me for months and sent me summons after summons. Well I havent received any calls or mail from any of them. They sure didnt have a hard time getting ahold of me yesterday. So it was ajourned until July 17th. Then after over a year all that nightmare will be over.
Today I get a cutoff notice from the cable..phone ..and internet. Luckily they will give me until the 3rd to pay the balance in full. Which is $522. How I will get it is beyond me. But it bought me time until then.
My Lyme disease wont go away. I have been on antibiotics for 3 months now and it just wont go away. My knees are in so much pain and my Dr is oblivious to it all. Take 800 Ibuprofen. I been doing that. It is not helping. Ok so he says take it with tylenol too. WHatever. Why dont he take some tests and see WTF is wrong and why it is getting worse?
ANd looking for a job. I am running into the same ole background check BS again. My past is so colorful. How do people ever outlive their wrongs?
I have noone to blame but myself. But good Lord. It seems when it comes. It comes like a freakin freight train.
Is it possible to hit me with just a little grief at a time?
Anyway. No I am not looking for sympathy. And I sure as hell dont feel sorry for myslef.
I know I am the cause of all of this and take full responsibility for it all.
I just needed to rant before I lost it.
Thank you for letting me be a baby for a minute.
This too shall pass. But right now I just want to scream.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 1,947
Chiynita,
wow. you have a lot on your plate. It just kept coming at me as i kept reading it. sounds very tough and I'm glad you took the time to vent and to share it with us. I can relate to feeling overwhelmed and being stuck in the hole that comes when multiple things are happening for the worse.
you are not alone in that and your sharing about will bring many positive responses from the people who know you on this site. I don't know you because i don't know anybody hardly here because I am so knew...(and there are sooo many people here on this site1)
yes you are alone in that it is only YOU who is experience the pain that you are feeling right now. but each of us who read your post also have our pains that we are enduring alone right now. it sounds to me that your plate of pain is a little fuller than mine at this moment, but i have had my share of pain today from letting my uncomfortable feelings lay inside of me instead of running away from them. actually running away from them doesn't make the pain go away anyway.
anyway those who know you a little bit here know some positive loving and wonderful things about you. I do too, just because I can sense it from the posts.
so you are GREAT. take this moment and try to celebrate your Greatness. you are an indescribeably miraculous present moment being. take in a slow breath and then let it out. where did the breath come from? i surely don't know. but mine just came from the same place that yours did.
anyway....i'm trying too much to help perhaps....i'm just experience a bit of 'caring' for you, a cyber stranger. your post touched me. it made me feel less alone. it made me feel empathy for you and others. it allowed me to feel my humanness (as opposed to my MEEE-ness)
thanks
wow. you have a lot on your plate. It just kept coming at me as i kept reading it. sounds very tough and I'm glad you took the time to vent and to share it with us. I can relate to feeling overwhelmed and being stuck in the hole that comes when multiple things are happening for the worse.
you are not alone in that and your sharing about will bring many positive responses from the people who know you on this site. I don't know you because i don't know anybody hardly here because I am so knew...(and there are sooo many people here on this site1)
yes you are alone in that it is only YOU who is experience the pain that you are feeling right now. but each of us who read your post also have our pains that we are enduring alone right now. it sounds to me that your plate of pain is a little fuller than mine at this moment, but i have had my share of pain today from letting my uncomfortable feelings lay inside of me instead of running away from them. actually running away from them doesn't make the pain go away anyway.
anyway those who know you a little bit here know some positive loving and wonderful things about you. I do too, just because I can sense it from the posts.
so you are GREAT. take this moment and try to celebrate your Greatness. you are an indescribeably miraculous present moment being. take in a slow breath and then let it out. where did the breath come from? i surely don't know. but mine just came from the same place that yours did.
anyway....i'm trying too much to help perhaps....i'm just experience a bit of 'caring' for you, a cyber stranger. your post touched me. it made me feel less alone. it made me feel empathy for you and others. it allowed me to feel my humanness (as opposed to my MEEE-ness)
thanks
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
There are alot of people who have it way worse than me.
I have way more to be thankful for than not.
This post was just me getting it out before I exploded.
I will be ok. I always am.
I am alive. I have a great family.
And most of all...I am sober today.
With the great support of eberyone here.
I know things will be ok in the end.
I believe in Karma.
All I can do is my best. And that will always see me through.
And it can for any one of you out there struggling too.
I have way more to be thankful for than not.
This post was just me getting it out before I exploded.
I will be ok. I always am.
I am alive. I have a great family.
And most of all...I am sober today.
With the great support of eberyone here.
I know things will be ok in the end.
I believe in Karma.
All I can do is my best. And that will always see me through.
And it can for any one of you out there struggling too.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
keep going the center is soft and chewy...
Hi
wow
that is all too too much.... can't say i been there but i can read and i hear you.
Ya. And all you want is to "vent a little" and then all done....
YOUR SOMETHIN' ELSE you are sweeeeeet
Well, with the way you are so getting thru all this you are also your own best friend!!
your totally inspiring ! it feels good knowing people like you are gettin' on with gettin' on day in and day out. Makes us all grateful to be alive.
You deserve a break today... (and the next day and the next....)
very best wishes
wow
that is all too too much.... can't say i been there but i can read and i hear you.Ya. And all you want is to "vent a little" and then all done....
YOUR SOMETHIN' ELSE you are sweeeeeet
Well, with the way you are so getting thru all this you are also your own best friend!!
your totally inspiring ! it feels good knowing people like you are gettin' on with gettin' on day in and day out. Makes us all grateful to be alive.
You deserve a break today... (and the next day and the next....)
very best wishes
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 43
Originally Posted by chiynita 
There are alot of people who have it way worse than me.
I have way more to be thankful for than not.
This post was just me getting it out before I exploded.
I will be ok. I always am.
I am alive. I have a great family.
And most of all...I am sober today.
With the great support of eberyone here.
I know things will be ok in the end.
I believe in Karma.
All I can do is my best. And that will always see me through.
And it can for any one of you out there struggling too.
I have way more to be thankful for than not.
This post was just me getting it out before I exploded.
I will be ok. I always am.
I am alive. I have a great family.
And most of all...I am sober today.
With the great support of eberyone here.
I know things will be ok in the end.
I believe in Karma.
All I can do is my best. And that will always see me through.
And it can for any one of you out there struggling too.
You are in my thoughts and prayers. We are all here for you.
You have the right attitude and KEEP hanging in there, okay?
"Welcome To The Future..."
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: WV
Posts: 224
Chi,
It will get better! Sounds like you are just having one hell of a week! And boy do I ever relate to almost everything you said. From the court problems to the joint pain, I'm right there with you sweetie! Sorry you are going through this as well. It's great to vent rather than holding it all in! Let it all out, then get on with life. Don't worry about the things you have no control over, especially when it's not happening right in this moment. Easier said than done, I know, boy do I ever know! But just live in the moment Trish, one moment at a time. Count your blessings! You are alive. You are better than you were two weeks ago. You are here among friends. You took the time to post an inspiring thread to celebrate people's clean time. See where I'm going with this???? Know that you are loved Trish. Sometimes, in this world, it is all we have!
Love you,
butterfly19 (SP)
p.s.: Grams has a date tonight doesn't she?? Wheeeeeeeeee! I wish I were Grams right about now!
It will get better! Sounds like you are just having one hell of a week! And boy do I ever relate to almost everything you said. From the court problems to the joint pain, I'm right there with you sweetie! Sorry you are going through this as well. It's great to vent rather than holding it all in! Let it all out, then get on with life. Don't worry about the things you have no control over, especially when it's not happening right in this moment. Easier said than done, I know, boy do I ever know! But just live in the moment Trish, one moment at a time. Count your blessings! You are alive. You are better than you were two weeks ago. You are here among friends. You took the time to post an inspiring thread to celebrate people's clean time. See where I'm going with this???? Know that you are loved Trish. Sometimes, in this world, it is all we have!
Love you,
butterfly19 (SP)
p.s.: Grams has a date tonight doesn't she?? Wheeeeeeeeee! I wish I were Grams right about now!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Trish)))
I never seem to get hit with just ONE thing, either...it all comes at once.
But you did exactly what I do....come here, vent, and get it out of our system....and don't pick up. That is a huge thing! I also give myself a set amount of time (no longer than 30 minutes) to have a "pity party", feel sorry for myself (even though it's all my own fault), and then get back to focusing on what I CAN do.
I'm right with you on the legal crap....criminal background check is wrong, state doesn't want to fix it (it shows me as a felon and I'm not), lawyer is dragging his butt on it; still have past due tickets in the town I lived (and used) in for $1600; and the guy I hit when I wrecked my car may be hunting me down since I didn't have insurance to fix his truck. All this hit at once, when work was really slow and I was bringing no money in and a background check was hampering me on finding a 2nd job.
So, I focused on what I COULD do....called the lawyer and gave him a nudge, keep working and have a tiny bit of money set aside for the tickets and the other guy's truck. May just have to throw myself at the mercy of the court on the tickets, get put on another probation and payment plan.
Didn't mean to hijack your thread...sorry, but since you and I have already discussed how much we are alike, wanted you to know even our bad days are similar
The lawyer and courts screwed up, but you have a new court date and the case will be dropped....YEAH!!! You can watch the baby when she wakes up and, if I guarantee she will bring a smile to your face. You've got a "colorful" work history...me, too. Kinda hard explaining why you were a nurse for 12 years, dropped off the face of the earth for 2, and now waiting tables without telling the truth. But you will get another job...you always do.
Most importantly, you didn't use. Give yourself a pat on the back, sweetie, and keep on putting one foot in front of the other.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I never seem to get hit with just ONE thing, either...it all comes at once.
But you did exactly what I do....come here, vent, and get it out of our system....and don't pick up. That is a huge thing! I also give myself a set amount of time (no longer than 30 minutes) to have a "pity party", feel sorry for myself (even though it's all my own fault), and then get back to focusing on what I CAN do.
I'm right with you on the legal crap....criminal background check is wrong, state doesn't want to fix it (it shows me as a felon and I'm not), lawyer is dragging his butt on it; still have past due tickets in the town I lived (and used) in for $1600; and the guy I hit when I wrecked my car may be hunting me down since I didn't have insurance to fix his truck. All this hit at once, when work was really slow and I was bringing no money in and a background check was hampering me on finding a 2nd job.
So, I focused on what I COULD do....called the lawyer and gave him a nudge, keep working and have a tiny bit of money set aside for the tickets and the other guy's truck. May just have to throw myself at the mercy of the court on the tickets, get put on another probation and payment plan.
Didn't mean to hijack your thread...sorry, but since you and I have already discussed how much we are alike, wanted you to know even our bad days are similar
The lawyer and courts screwed up, but you have a new court date and the case will be dropped....YEAH!!! You can watch the baby when she wakes up and, if I guarantee she will bring a smile to your face. You've got a "colorful" work history...me, too. Kinda hard explaining why you were a nurse for 12 years, dropped off the face of the earth for 2, and now waiting tables without telling the truth. But you will get another job...you always do.
Most importantly, you didn't use. Give yourself a pat on the back, sweetie, and keep on putting one foot in front of the other.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
*Grateful*
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
Chiynita,
I am sorry you are going thru everything at once. That is a major bummer.
I live in lyme disease country here, and my son has had it. I don't know if you have any insurance but I do know there are doctors who specialize in lyme disease. Perhaps you could look for one in your area. 3 months sounds like an awfully long time.
hugs! Sheila
I am sorry you are going thru everything at once. That is a major bummer.
I live in lyme disease country here, and my son has had it. I don't know if you have any insurance but I do know there are doctors who specialize in lyme disease. Perhaps you could look for one in your area. 3 months sounds like an awfully long time.
hugs! Sheila
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: California
Posts: 358
Thanks for sharing Chiynita. I'm sorry things are piling up. It does remind me of this though: I can think of one thing that will make it worse. Same goes for me.
I'll say a prayer for you tonight. I have been forgetting to pray lately, and you'll give me a good excuse to get back into that. Thanks!
-- NM
Same goes for me.I'll say a prayer for you tonight. I have been forgetting to pray lately, and you'll give me a good excuse to get back into that. Thanks!
-- NM
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