Embracing her future
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Embracing her future
My RAD is headed to a sober living facility in Georgia tomorrow. She finished her 28 days in rehab this past Monday and has been home this week tying up her legal loose ends.
All charges were dismissed at her first court date because of rehab and the halfway house. Her charges today were a little trickier because she didn't think she needed an attorney until she actually got there. Turns out she did do fine all by herself.
She was answering to a failure to appear charge and two other charges. Every defendant in court was given 10 or 20 days in jail on failure to appear, but not her. She talked to the DA and enlisted his help. She was given 6 months unsupervised probation so she could leave the state and her record will be expunged if she gets in no more trouble.
She had no documentation of rehab or even the acceptance letter from the halfway house, but she won over the DA and the judge. I wasn't in court with her either, she was alone, and that made it even better. Today she took that high IQ of hers, a lot of honesty, and negotiated her way into the future.
She's still going through withdrawals because detoxing off suboxone without a taper is hell, but she's dealing with it stoically. She's going to meetings and keeping herself VERY busy with physical activities too. When she gets a sudden case of the crabbies she lets me know. That's my clue to shut up and leave her alone until it passes.
This week she also said goodbye to everyone, including the FORMER boyfriend who introduced her to her DOC. He's still in jail but was supposed to get out the same day she left rehab. He said it was a sign they were meant to be together. Since he didn't get out she's taking it as a sign they aren't.
I gave her a ride there today because she wanted to tell him face to face. While she was taking care of her business with him I spotted a little boutique and found something for her. I swear God steered me to that store.
Her begged her not to leave, said how much he needs her blah blah blah. She said she never realized how co-dependent he was until after being in rehab. She told him she has to take care of herself and he has to do the same for himself.
She was a little teary eyed and then noticed the bag from the boutique. She asked what it was and I told her a gift for her. She instantly perked up then shouted when she held this delicate silver bangle bracelet in her hand, and read the engraved Serenity Prayer.
As we drove away from the jail Tracy Chapman came on the radio. My daughter let out another shout, yelling "this is SOOO perfect!!!" and began singing as loud as she could Give me one reason to stay here and I'll turn right back around. The jail was left behind in the rear view mirror.
Today was a lot of divine intervention and no one can convince me otherwise.
Today I watched my daughter take a huge leap into her future and the best part was I had no part. It was all her as it should be
All charges were dismissed at her first court date because of rehab and the halfway house. Her charges today were a little trickier because she didn't think she needed an attorney until she actually got there. Turns out she did do fine all by herself.
She was answering to a failure to appear charge and two other charges. Every defendant in court was given 10 or 20 days in jail on failure to appear, but not her. She talked to the DA and enlisted his help. She was given 6 months unsupervised probation so she could leave the state and her record will be expunged if she gets in no more trouble.
She had no documentation of rehab or even the acceptance letter from the halfway house, but she won over the DA and the judge. I wasn't in court with her either, she was alone, and that made it even better. Today she took that high IQ of hers, a lot of honesty, and negotiated her way into the future.
She's still going through withdrawals because detoxing off suboxone without a taper is hell, but she's dealing with it stoically. She's going to meetings and keeping herself VERY busy with physical activities too. When she gets a sudden case of the crabbies she lets me know. That's my clue to shut up and leave her alone until it passes.
This week she also said goodbye to everyone, including the FORMER boyfriend who introduced her to her DOC. He's still in jail but was supposed to get out the same day she left rehab. He said it was a sign they were meant to be together. Since he didn't get out she's taking it as a sign they aren't.
I gave her a ride there today because she wanted to tell him face to face. While she was taking care of her business with him I spotted a little boutique and found something for her. I swear God steered me to that store.
Her begged her not to leave, said how much he needs her blah blah blah. She said she never realized how co-dependent he was until after being in rehab. She told him she has to take care of herself and he has to do the same for himself.
She was a little teary eyed and then noticed the bag from the boutique. She asked what it was and I told her a gift for her. She instantly perked up then shouted when she held this delicate silver bangle bracelet in her hand, and read the engraved Serenity Prayer.
As we drove away from the jail Tracy Chapman came on the radio. My daughter let out another shout, yelling "this is SOOO perfect!!!" and began singing as loud as she could Give me one reason to stay here and I'll turn right back around. The jail was left behind in the rear view mirror.
Today was a lot of divine intervention and no one can convince me otherwise.
Today I watched my daughter take a huge leap into her future and the best part was I had no part. It was all her as it should be
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
awwww Chino...you're post is bringing me happy tears!
That is so awesome that she is making such huge progress. I have found that dealing with legal stuff once we're clean, goes much better when we admit we screwed up, but show that we are trying to get back on track.
Hugs and prayers to you and your daughter!!
Amy
That is so awesome that she is making such huge progress. I have found that dealing with legal stuff once we're clean, goes much better when we admit we screwed up, but show that we are trying to get back on track.
Hugs and prayers to you and your daughter!!
Amy
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
What a wonderful post of recovery in action...your daughter's and yours!! Your loving support and ability to let her find her own way and applaud her efforts is so evident, thanks for sharing it here. Lots of warm wishes and prayers for joy and serenity in this amazing journey
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
This is just the sweetest post, Chino. Your words are wonderful, helping me to visualize the moment and hear the sounds of triumph in your daughter's decisions today, as well as the awe you are experiencing in not having a part and seeing HP at work. What a joyful, serene realization that must be, and you always have this experience to look back on as a reminder. Thank you and bless you both
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: East Tawas, MI
Posts: 3,683
Thank you for sharing such words of hope. I know that my daughter has told me that she got sick of the dope and THEN she got sick of the abf. It was so hard for her to walk away but she knew that her survival depended on it. Sounds like your daughter knows that too and she is walking a good path. You will both remain in my prayers. Hugs, Marle
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
They say coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. I believe that.
Your post just tickled my heart too, so many blessings are waiting for them when they are ready and I think you were both blessed today.
'Scuse me while I get my sunglasses, recovery is shining here...yours and hers.
Thank you for this message of hope, love and miracles happening before our eyes.
Hugs
Your post just tickled my heart too, so many blessings are waiting for them when they are ready and I think you were both blessed today.
'Scuse me while I get my sunglasses, recovery is shining here...yours and hers.
Thank you for this message of hope, love and miracles happening before our eyes.
Hugs
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Originally Posted by peaceteach 
What a joyful, serene realization that must be, and you always have this experience to look back on as a reminder.
Our office is about two miles from the courthouse and she was sending me text messages, letting me know how she scared she was as they marched defendants off to jail. She asked if I could call her attorney and have him fax the documentation then bring it to her. I said sure and made the phone call.
The whole time I was praying, asking God to allow me to help her if that was the right thing. While I was waiting for them she sent another text and said it was too late, she was talking to the DA.
For one moment I felt frustration then in our conference room, with people around me wondering what was going on, I closed my eyes I prayed "God this is between you and her, please help the right thing for her happen" then let it go. It was the most beautiful feeling even without knowing the outcome.
The rest of the day I was floating, especially because of those coincidences. On the drive back I was in tears and told her how proud of her I was. She said she had been praying the entire time too. That was beautiful as well, coming from a young woman who just over a month ago had no HP except for a drug.
The last time I felt this way was almost three years ago when my dad died. Instead of praying for his mortal life, I prayed for his release because there would be no recovery. His illness was too far gone for that. I'm American Indian and also spoke to my deceased grandmother while sitting next to his bed in ICU, asked her to please come get him because of his suffering. Ten minutes later he passed on.
I've learned to ask God for help letting go and found the relief and absolute joy in it. No matter what the circumstances I have these reminders that in all aspects of my life, a power greater than mine knows best.
Leap of Faith Survivor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
Chino, what an amazing post..the hairs on my head are standing up...
thank you so much for sharing this blessed day...
you must be so proud..what a girl!
and what a beautiful spirit you are...
as I read this I pray for continued blessings for you both.....
thank you so much for sharing this blessed day...
you must be so proud..what a girl!
and what a beautiful spirit you are...
as I read this I pray for continued blessings for you both.....
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Sounds like a winning movie script. Think about it.
Who will play your daughter? Who would play you ?
How great for you to witness the transformation...in the right direction this time.
I am happy for you.
Who will play your daughter? Who would play you ?
How great for you to witness the transformation...in the right direction this time.
I am happy for you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
The script isn't finished yet
When both of my children were young I had movie script dreams like a lot of parents of the day they'd go off to college or move into their first apartment. My son burst that bubble when he pulled up to the patio, loaded up his stuff in his truck and drove off.
Then my daughter moved out and into an apartment with the former BF last year. Saying that was not a day for celebration is a huge understatement. Three months later she moved back home with a disease called addiction.
Yesterday I lived that dream and it was so unexpected that it rocked me. We unloaded all her stuff then went grocery shopping. When I offered to help put the groceries up, she said no thanks she wanted to do it herself. That was it, time for me to go.
I had a thousand things I wanted to say but there was time for just a few, "I love you, remember safety first, call us if you need anything and I love you. I'm so proud of you and hey, I love you." Then I walked down the stairs with a huge smile on my face and tears rolling down my cheeks.
The journey didn't happen the way I envisioned and neither did the moment, but it was better and it was perfect.
Thank you everyone for being a part of the journey. You've given me your ESH and it has sustained me.
When both of my children were young I had movie script dreams like a lot of parents of the day they'd go off to college or move into their first apartment. My son burst that bubble when he pulled up to the patio, loaded up his stuff in his truck and drove off.
Then my daughter moved out and into an apartment with the former BF last year. Saying that was not a day for celebration is a huge understatement. Three months later she moved back home with a disease called addiction.
Yesterday I lived that dream and it was so unexpected that it rocked me. We unloaded all her stuff then went grocery shopping. When I offered to help put the groceries up, she said no thanks she wanted to do it herself. That was it, time for me to go.
I had a thousand things I wanted to say but there was time for just a few, "I love you, remember safety first, call us if you need anything and I love you. I'm so proud of you and hey, I love you." Then I walked down the stairs with a huge smile on my face and tears rolling down my cheeks.
The journey didn't happen the way I envisioned and neither did the moment, but it was better and it was perfect.
Thank you everyone for being a part of the journey. You've given me your ESH and it has sustained me.
Leap of Faith Survivor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
Originally Posted by Chino
I had a thousand things I wanted to say but there was time for just a few, "I love you, remember safety first, call us if you need anything and I love you. I'm so proud of you and hey, I love you." Then I walked down the stairs with a huge smile on my face and tears rolling down my cheeks.
The journey didn't happen the way I envisioned and neither did the moment, but it was better and it was perfect.
The journey didn't happen the way I envisioned and neither did the moment, but it was better and it was perfect.
now, where are my sunglasses...
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 427
Chino,
This just makes for a beautiful day. I am so happy for you and your daughter and her new journey. Something most of hope will come our way one day too with time. Prayers for you and ((hugs)) Keep smiling Chino I know your happy....
This just makes for a beautiful day. I am so happy for you and your daughter and her new journey. Something most of hope will come our way one day too with time. Prayers for you and ((hugs)) Keep smiling Chino I know your happy....
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
I've loved reading your awesome post. It fills my heart with a lot of joy for you and for her. I see all kinds of "God-incidences" in your posts....look at the miracles HP can create when we step aside. What a great reminder for me.
Enjoy the wonder of all of this!
Enjoy the wonder of all of this!
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