MatildaRose

:prayingI am new to this site but am so glad to have found it.I am 38 days alcohol free but I wonder when I will start to feel sober.Maybe I am not sure what I am supposed to feel like??? I guess I am wanting a feeling of being free from this addition.It is a shadow that seems to follow me where ever I go.That feeling needs to go....I wonder if it ever will????Hip

iwantadonkey

Hi hippychick!congradulations on 38 days thats fantastic!!i know how your feeling im the same,not sure what to feel half the time.emotions all over the place!i just keep thinking it gets better!!

CarolD

I see you had a long stretch of sobriety before.
so.....why not do whatever you did then for success?

Relax and let your healthy new life flow.

kj3880

hippychick;
38 days is great work. As you probably already know, you're going to have to spend some time on you before you shed the "dry drunk" feeling and get some emotional peace. Do you go to AA or anything to get that work done? A variety of stuff plagues us in sobriety. I'm struggling with a lot of really bad feelings right now, too, and I'm on day 76. I haven't been doing any step work, i don't have a sponsor, and my home group tells me those are the problems with the way I still feel. Dealing with feelings...ugh...
kj

serenityqueen

Congratulations on 38 Days!!!

Don't take that away from yourself.

I hear so many people say that AA isn't for them or that they don't need treatment . . . removing alcohol alone is not the answer. It's only one ingredient in the recipe for a Happy, Joyous and Free Recovery!

I like to use this as a comparison. If someone's heart isn't working and they have a heart replacement, the surgeon can't simply go in, cut the old heart out and sew in a new one. That will only work for the short period of time the patient is laying there on the table. The new heart is going to fail without proper follow up, in many times it's also called Rehab, and then, the patient is in Recovery.

I am by no means what some call a Big Book Thumper. I don't go around quoting the Big Book and think that I have to live my life strictly by the Big Book of AA. For some, that is what works for them and God Bless what ever works for the individual. However, I have worked the 12 Steps and continue to work them on a daily basis. There is no "cure" for alcoholism, but we can be in remission or what most call Sobriety or Recovery.

For me, and most others who have long term, quality Sobriety, it was/is necessary to be around other people in Recovery. If I isolate myself and hang with people who still use or still have the stinking thinking, I can't get any better. I learned the tools of Recovery from the 12 Steps as well as going to Meetings and following what has worked for millions of others around the world.

Sure, when most people first walk into the rooms of AA, it's not the most comfortable place to be. First of all, it's something new, and new is usually not comfortable. Also, some feel "defeated" by admitting they are an alcoholic but for me, it was a relief to know that there is a reason that I did what I did, felt how I felt . . . I wasn't nuts nor was I a social outcast.

I seriously hope you will get to some meetings and start talking to the winners there!

God Bless & One Day at a Time my Friend,
Judy

lizw

I'm nearly 10 years and am wondering the same thing. (Jokes) I say easy does it. We don't get sick overnight so we certainly ain't going to get better over night either!

HeavyJ

Hey Hip!

Congrats on your 38 days! that's (Let's see 38 minus 12 is 26) 26 days more than me! Feel sober, feel great , and feel life!

Heavy

navysteve

Hippy Chick,
It is wonderful that you have found a new way of life here ( or re-found/rejoined, I can't think straight right now). As soon as you start working the steps, the sooner you will start to feel better, but there is little instant gratification here, step work often means facing some unpalatable truths about ourselves, that is why a sponsor is a good idea. I posted this on another thread but since I love redundancy so much ( and fire) here it goes again:

1. Go to meetings
2. Interview potential sponsors ( and I do mean interview, this is life or death!) Ask them these questions:
a. Did you work the steps out of the Big Book?
b. Are you recovered from alcoholism? How do you know?
c. Are there more promises than the ones they read in the meetings?
d. How long do I have to wait to get this thing? ( trick question, the answer should
be you don't have to wait)
I strongly suggest getting a sponsor who has worked the steps out of the big book. And the questions I gave you will give you some indication. Run away from the sit down and shut up crowd, run farther away from the just don't drink and go to meetings people. Seek out a recovered alcoholic, they have answers to your drinking problem. If you do that, your chances of having a happy life will increase

kj3880

Steve,
Hey, you never gave me this list!?! I probably didn't ask, did I? Well, I just love this list, because it is so true. I've had people tell me that "newcomers should sit down and shut up" and people who think that the only way to stay sober is to live in the rooms constantly (I'm finding these people tend not to have an outside life. They date, eat, play, in NA/AA rooms. They go to several meetings a day, even over a year into sobriety) I don't want my life to be limited in that way.) I love the idea of interviewing a sponsor like that. Thank you, thank you, thank you, for this post.
kj

RobbyRobot

Hi
ya great questions. I began feeling free from my addiction after i achieved some lifestyle change. the more my lifestyle changed away from my old ways the more free i felt. sounds so obvious just reading it here, but it was not that clear going thru it back then. more like a daily fog with some sunny minutes sprinkled in and around. kinda tough really.

As i went on things got better. just before my one year came up around 11 months i was seeing sunlight through the fog pretty steady. yay i could see my way the path the freedom the life the thing i wanted most non-stop by then. if i blinked i didn't get lost no more. that was the start of the times of when i could say life was good -- and i didn't have to feel bad and guilty 5 minutes later -- like all the other times before that. my pink clouding was finished. yay!

one thing i gotta say strongly: lifestyle means just that lifestyle. changed my lifestyle from using and dying to giving and living. i did not think and feel and talk and listen my way into a new lifestyle. i actioned my way into it. actions. actions. actions. thats what made the difference.

freedom.

wow. still gives me shivers just sharing all that. have a great day hippychic.

navysteve

That is sad. I thought the whole purpose here was to get a life worth living?

I didn't give you the list because you seemed to get irritated when I mentioned anythng AA. Remember, I am an addict ( one of those drugs was alcohol) and I found the best way to work the steps ( after trying various ways) was the Big Book of alcoholics anonymous. People in AA have sponsored people in NA before, to say that wouldn't work is a cop out because it has worked when NA sponsors are not available. I know about your troubles with a sponsor and my heart goes out to you, I hope this will work for you

lovingseren

I don't belong to NA or AA, I think both programs have so much to offer.

I belong to Women For Sobriety.....a self help, positive, empowering group for women, created by a woman, Dr Jean Kirkpatrick PhD over 35 years ago.

There are other programs of recovery out there....do a google search.

Find what works for YOU.

There is a superb life out there for you..I promise.

The longer you are sober, the better it gets!

Seren

"There are many paths to Sobriety" Bill W

MatildaRose

THANKS FOR CARING...I read and reread your posts.When I had the long term soberiety before my life was that of a Mom,business women and married to a different man.My life is so different now.I have no children to keep me busy and no need to make money....Maybe I am bored.AA is out,especially since the TV reruns have started again.I know that this sounds like ******** and I will get the same YAAAH...YAAAH..that I have gotten before.Is there anyone who can relate to being a public profile person that wants space to recover out of the public eye???If so,please write....

tobefree4me

Hi Everyone. Found this board tonight and decided to join. Am 2 days sober. I finally had the realization that I needed to quit drinking....tried to cut back but it only became worse. Realized i was using alcohol to put me to sleep at night, slow down from work, and take the pain away trying to deal with a parent with terminal cancer. Wasn't sipping alcohol, I was gulping it I would open a bottle (didn't matter what) pour a 1/2 glass and drink it down quickly and say that's all, back to work, but, then 10 minutes later i would be pouring another glass----- actually planning a trip to the store in my mind for the next bottle. The next morning I'd wake up saying Im not going to drink today only to find at about 4pm or so convincing my self that I'll only have 1 drink today- It has to be years since I've only had (one) drink! HA! Anyway, I appreciate the forum- am reading other posts for help and information, and am thankful for this site. Since I'm new to sobriety I can't offer any advice but I wish you all well in your road to recovery. And hippychic, I am a public profile person and am looking for alternatives to AA.

Boleo

The limitations and weaknesses of abstinence typically do not show up until sometime later-on in the recovery process, when the now sober mind starts to realize that only a few things get better while most “life challenges” go on. They begin to recognize that most of the slogans they heard were simply not true or were gross exaggerations. One such slogan is; “just don’t drink, go to meetings and life will get better”. Your parole officer might think your life is better but he is looking at the situation from the perspective of a baby-sitter who is responsible for cleaning up your mess. The reality is that if you can’t sleep at night because of worries and fears, your life may in fact get worse and the 4 horseman of the Apocalypse may even move in with you. Peace of mind is a precious commodity to the soul living a sober life. Drugs and alcohol may have been a “rock” comfort-wise, but life without them may prove to be the “hard place” for the person who was caught in the middle and must now choose one side or the other. Now where does he or she find refuge?
A person taught to say the serenity prayer in his or her treatment program is in a better position than someone not familiar with the importance of peace of mind. Serenity is the deluxe edition of sobriety, which includes peace of mind, acceptance and a starting point for meditation. Without serenity, sobriety may not be worth having. True sobriety rides on the coat-tails of serenity. The next time you can’t sleep at night try asking yourself if sobriety is of any help in this particular situation.
Where humility has teaching power, serenity has healing power. That is the power to instill peace of mind. Just because someone was powerless over their drinking or drugging does not mean they have to be powerless over their recovery.

jurneyman

We, as in the program of AA are not trying to deprive you of Alcohol, we are trying to free you from it. The goal being happy joyous and free from alcohol

DharmaQueen

Hi Hippichic, maybe stop, turn around and talk to that shadow. Ask questions. Get curious about it. The shadow may always be with you, but you can change your relationship to it. Write about it. May you be happy and have an end to suffering.

shugabooga

i like the sound of it and contacted them for more information. it seems more focused and gentle than AA. the first AA meeting i went to was primarily older Irish Catholic men and the second was alcoholics/addicts, some with some serious drug addictions. i think my problem is more self-esteem and depression......so i drink to get out of the house..........rather than joining a hiking club or taking a dance class....because i'm always too hungover to keep a commitment and afraid of social situations where i don't have a drink. but i want to live a fuller life doing more outdoor and physical activities (and where i would meet people who don't drink to excess). that's what recovery means to me in some senses.

i hope i hear from them soon!

CAPTAINZING2000

THE 4 S's

Sobriety= spirituality = sanity = serenity

To me, it seems easier for those that, come into AA of their own accord. The people coming in that were ordered, have a harder time being forced.
I wanted a change in my life. Anyone drinking themselves into oblivion on a regular basis isn't happy.



There's a whole new beautiful world out there for you sober, just waiting for you