Day 1 (again)
getting there
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,314
Day 1 (again)
Well, today is day 1 for me. I'm feeling really, really anxious and am almost afraid to go to bed. This probably doesn't make any sense, but I think I'm afraid of sleeping because I am not in control of my situation when I am asleep, and I never know what I will wake up to.
I had an appointment with a therapist this afternoon. It went well and she gave me some ideas on how I can try to get myself out of the depression/anxiety cycle before I decide about medication. Key things she recommended are to make myself eat (I'm terrible about this), get some exercise everyday, and take a b-vitamin supplement and fish oil.
I was feeling pretty good after the session, but now I can feel the anxiety setting in again. This sucks so much. I called my pdoc today but she didn't have any appointments until next Wednesday. Ugh. So the waiting game begins.
One of my cats goes in for a follow up visit tomorrow to see if her medication is working. The past two days, she randomly started having these coughing spells in the morning. Not sure what it is, but really can't handle another cat problem. Please say a prayer for us that it will go away on its own and she will be okay.
I had an appointment with a therapist this afternoon. It went well and she gave me some ideas on how I can try to get myself out of the depression/anxiety cycle before I decide about medication. Key things she recommended are to make myself eat (I'm terrible about this), get some exercise everyday, and take a b-vitamin supplement and fish oil.
I was feeling pretty good after the session, but now I can feel the anxiety setting in again. This sucks so much. I called my pdoc today but she didn't have any appointments until next Wednesday. Ugh. So the waiting game begins.
One of my cats goes in for a follow up visit tomorrow to see if her medication is working. The past two days, she randomly started having these coughing spells in the morning. Not sure what it is, but really can't handle another cat problem. Please say a prayer for us that it will go away on its own and she will be okay.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Hi colagirl 
Like Ananda, I'm SO glad you're here again finishing up another day #1. Baby steps, right?
Also -- it's GREAT that you're getting some help with the depression and anxiety issues. Again, baby steps!
Hugs out to you and your little furry one, colagirl. Hope you can relax enough to get a good sleep.
Like Ananda, I'm SO glad you're here again finishing up another day #1. Baby steps, right?
Also -- it's GREAT that you're getting some help with the depression and anxiety issues. Again, baby steps!
Hugs out to you and your little furry one, colagirl. Hope you can relax enough to get a good sleep.
getting there
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,314
Thanks everyone! Sometimes I come here and you guys make me cry because you don't even know me and you care enough to read and reply to my posts. Of course, just about anything could make me cry right now...
Jeeplady - how is your kitty doing today?
Carol - just curious, how did AA help you with depression? I was thinking of trying out a meeting hoping it might help, but not sure how...
Jeeplady - how is your kitty doing today?
Carol - just curious, how did AA help you with depression? I was thinking of trying out a meeting hoping it might help, but not sure how...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Cola
Only those who care about themselves can really extend it to others. No one in my "real" life really understands what I derive from this place. This IS real life...
We walk together here. The only thing we have in common is a common desire and at least some degree of self honesty. Otherwise we wouldn't be here.
Tend to the anxiety and depression. It is both part of and separate from our addiction. Sometimes it is hard to separate symptom from disease. The only way I know for certain to tell the difference is to control what we can and put the alcohol aside.
Best to you. BTW, is that Cannon Beach?
warren
Only those who care about themselves can really extend it to others. No one in my "real" life really understands what I derive from this place. This IS real life...
We walk together here. The only thing we have in common is a common desire and at least some degree of self honesty. Otherwise we wouldn't be here.
Tend to the anxiety and depression. It is both part of and separate from our addiction. Sometimes it is hard to separate symptom from disease. The only way I know for certain to tell the difference is to control what we can and put the alcohol aside.
Best to you. BTW, is that Cannon Beach?
warren
FreeSpirit
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Inside My Spirit
Posts: 1,274
I could I.D. with your situation about waiting
to see your PDoct i also had to wait at the beginning
of my recovery but then i use one of my tactics
to push the appointment further up i spoke to my regular Doct
and told him my situation and he speed it up
i hope your cat gets better
to see your PDoct i also had to wait at the beginning
of my recovery but then i use one of my tactics
to push the appointment further up i spoke to my regular Doct
and told him my situation and he speed it up
i hope your cat gets better
getting there
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,314
Thanks again everybody.
Jeeplady - it's a deal. I feel like most people think I'm crazy for being so stressed over my cats. It's nice to have someone who understands.
Warrens - yes, that is Cannon Beach. Are you familiar with the OR coast?
Jeeplady - it's a deal. I feel like most people think I'm crazy for being so stressed over my cats. It's nice to have someone who understands.
Warrens - yes, that is Cannon Beach. Are you familiar with the OR coast?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Cola
Every once in a while I sneak out of my haven in extreme north Idaho and venture forth. Frequently it is to the Oregon and Washington coast. Used to rent a beach house by Cannon Beach when my kids were still kids.
Hope to visit again soon, although this time it will be without that wonderful oceanfront brewpub. What a wonderful ale they made...
Lost my favorite cat to a snowy owl. I know how you feel.
warren
Every once in a while I sneak out of my haven in extreme north Idaho and venture forth. Frequently it is to the Oregon and Washington coast. Used to rent a beach house by Cannon Beach when my kids were still kids.
Hope to visit again soon, although this time it will be without that wonderful oceanfront brewpub. What a wonderful ale they made...
Lost my favorite cat to a snowy owl. I know how you feel.
warren
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Europe
Posts: 1,361
this may sound strange,
It's okay to feel anxious. It won't kill you. It won't be the end of things. Just accept that it's there, it doesn't have to be a reason to hide in booze or drugs. And then, when you accepted it, sooner or later, it will go away!
It's okay to feel anxious. It won't kill you. It won't be the end of things. Just accept that it's there, it doesn't have to be a reason to hide in booze or drugs. And then, when you accepted it, sooner or later, it will go away!
"Meow. No, I am not a pup!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 269
Oh Cola! I feel for you. Animals are soooo underrated for the love and support they give. Not religious but will pray for your cat just in case there is a god and she/he has sense to look after pets which keep us sane (or relatively in my case!)!!!!
Hugs
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: NYC - New York
Posts: 305
Hi ColaG
The anxiety is a bitch - I was reluctant to take meds at 1st (fear of another addiction) but I tried them in the end and they really helped me.
Saying prayers for your kitty - I'm sure she'll be ok
The anxiety is a bitch - I was reluctant to take meds at 1st (fear of another addiction) but I tried them in the end and they really helped me.
Saying prayers for your kitty - I'm sure she'll be ok
getting there
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 1,314
SB - I know, I've been on them once before and hated the side effects enough that I swore I would never take them again. But it turns out I might hate the anxiety and depression more! I hate the long-term ones more than the as needed ones.
If I dare say it, I am feeling slightly better today. Its an infinitesimal improvement, and I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm feeling hopeful, but it's there.
My cat goes to the vet in an hour and a half, and I am nervous nervous nervous!!
If I dare say it, I am feeling slightly better today. Its an infinitesimal improvement, and I wouldn't go as far as to say I'm feeling hopeful, but it's there.
My cat goes to the vet in an hour and a half, and I am nervous nervous nervous!!
Guest
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Buffalo, NY
Posts: 34
colagirl,
being by yourself right now is like being in a very dangerous neighborhood. do whatever you can to get around some healthy people you can talk with. we really can't beat this thing on our own. fear of relapse only works for so long, and we can never tell how long that will be. don't be a martyr to show the rest of us what doesn't work again. get yourself around some people who can help you, for real. keep praying, too.
being by yourself right now is like being in a very dangerous neighborhood. do whatever you can to get around some healthy people you can talk with. we really can't beat this thing on our own. fear of relapse only works for so long, and we can never tell how long that will be. don't be a martyr to show the rest of us what doesn't work again. get yourself around some people who can help you, for real. keep praying, too.
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