loner1968

Ok so it took me all day yesterday wallowing around on the couch and trying not to feel guilty because I did not want to go and visit my father. I don't hate him. I love him. He's an A and he really doesn't talk much. He only opens up when he is drinking and then there isn't much time from him being cool to him being a jerk!

He's been this way all my life and most of his own.

So I had to work up the courage to call him and sound chipper and he tried too I guess but it was like

"Hey I'm calling you to wish you a belated father's day"

"ok"

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing...I got a week off from work."

"cool what are you gonna do?"

I was going to work outside but its supposed to rain.........."

"ok well just wanted to say happy f's day"

Ok

I love you

ok

bye

bye

UHHHGGG!!! I didnt expect much else I guess.

CarolD

My family is kin to yours it seems.
Heck...we don't often do Christmas cards.

DesertEyes

I dunno, Loner. For a "toxic family" it seems to me like you did awesomely well. You didn't take out your frustrations on him, you didn't try to change him or make him feel guilty for what he's done to you. You acted like a decent, caring person and reached out to offer him an opportunity to start the process of healing the relationship he destroyed.

All I see is that your actions show great recovery. What his actions show.... well that's between him and his Higher Power. I think you done good, and I think you should be proud of yourself for that.

Mike

GiveLove

Loner, you did so much better than I would've! Yesterday was A stepmother's bday, and I tried all day to work up the -whatever- to call her. But I knew she'd be drunk by 10am and would go on for about a year about her latest alcohol-related health disaster, or how awful life is (she will not help herself at all), etc., you know the drill.

So finally, I sent flowers instead. With a nice card. She likes flowers. BUT I don't think that shows good recovery on my part at all....except maybe I didn't force myself to call her out of ACoA guilt. I knew I'd be one of about 2 people who'd remember her birthday and it made me feel sad inside to do nothing at all.

You get the medal for trying your best, Loner!!!

Wascally Wabbit

Believe me, when I call my mom all I get is non stop complaining.