AH incarcerated, wants to change, what to expect?
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Join Date: May 2008
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AH incarcerated, wants to change, what to expect?
title pretty much says it all. he's only been in over the weekend and will not be out for at least 2 weeks, possibly much longer. he says this is his wake-up call. any tips for what to expect when he get out? what are the stages he might go through?
he has been resistant to the idea of treatment and honestly he hasn't mentioned it now either but he did say he wants to change his life. he wants to get back into his church. they have 3-4 meetings (not aa, church stuff) a week......would going tto those be as good as going to aa?
looking to learn from anyone whos been here before.
he has been resistant to the idea of treatment and honestly he hasn't mentioned it now either but he did say he wants to change his life. he wants to get back into his church. they have 3-4 meetings (not aa, church stuff) a week......would going tto those be as good as going to aa?
looking to learn from anyone whos been here before.
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Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
There is no way of knowing if he is serious about change yet. While he's in jail, he has little choice. His actions once he is out will speak with more authority than anything he says.
In the mean time you can think about what you want in your life and what you can do to improve your life.
In the mean time you can think about what you want in your life and what you can do to improve your life.
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Stumbling toward happiness
Posts: 4,706
Originally Posted by hellyaellen 
......would going tto those be as good as going to aa?
There are rare exceptions, but there are many examples of this on SoberRecovery, and is what is most likely to happen. I'm sorry to say that, but it's true. Take care of YOU -- decide what kind of life you want, as your life is the only one you can control.
Good luck
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Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
When i was i jail for a short while, they finally had me and 3 or 4 others lined up to be released. We were told were would be released after midnight. We were actually planning on walking to a bar when we got released!
The jail was onto this type of alkie behavior and were were released at 3am after last call.
I finally found recovery 6 years later.
I would expect the worst kind of messed up thinking - like mine! However you can act now - arrange for him to be visited by some AA folks while he is in jail. You'll need to call AA to do this, but it can be done. Get him an AA Big Book - lord knows he'll have time to read it. The AA people will help you with this.
Good luck, and keep posting.
The jail was onto this type of alkie behavior and were were released at 3am after last call.
I finally found recovery 6 years later.
I would expect the worst kind of messed up thinking - like mine! However you can act now - arrange for him to be visited by some AA folks while he is in jail. You'll need to call AA to do this, but it can be done. Get him an AA Big Book - lord knows he'll have time to read it. The AA people will help you with this.
Good luck, and keep posting.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
No, church meetings are nothing like AA. AA teaches them different thought and behavior patterns to control their alcohol craving. If he is not willing to go into treatment and some kind of program, then you can expect more of what you've already gone through. Nearly everybody has an epiphany in jail. It often lasts about a week, if that, when they're out and facing pressures to drink.
My XABF was in jail for 4 days and I heard quack quack I'm done drinking.....3 DUI's after that!
When we set our expectations to high especially of others, we are let down....try to turn the focus on yourself and not so much what he is going to do for himself. Hope and pray that he finds the path that is right for him and in the meantime find the one that is right for you and take care of YOU-
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Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,381
It is real easy to think of right actions locked up. I know because I have been there. But there are people that do not want to go through that again.
In 2000 I said to myself that I was sick of trouble and I never wanted to see a court house again. Well, I quit drinking and have never been to court since. I believe a person has to want to change.
If they want help that is a great sign.
In 2000 I said to myself that I was sick of trouble and I never wanted to see a court house again. Well, I quit drinking and have never been to court since. I believe a person has to want to change.
If they want help that is a great sign.
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Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 4
thanks for your replies. i know its easy to want change when your in jail. and i know its what he does when he get out thats going to be the proof........
and i am doing a lot of thinking about what i want, what i need out of my marrige, and i tell ya, beer and all the rowdy behavior that comes with it, is not what i want.
i'm going to get rid of the beer thats in the house. 'm going to tell him that there is to be no more drinking in the house. if drink comes into the house, i go out of the house for the night, with the kids........
i think thats somethng i can stick too.
and i am doing a lot of thinking about what i want, what i need out of my marrige, and i tell ya, beer and all the rowdy behavior that comes with it, is not what i want.
i'm going to get rid of the beer thats in the house. 'm going to tell him that there is to be no more drinking in the house. if drink comes into the house, i go out of the house for the night, with the kids........
i think thats somethng i can stick too.
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