New Here...life starts today
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 92
New Here...life starts today
Hi all. I'm new here...well not really, I have been reading every day for the past 6 months, but finally decided it was time to register. I will not bore you with the long version of my history, but will try to keep only the important things in this post.
I am a 33 year old stay at home Mom of 2 young kids. My drinking began in high school and then progressed in college. I got married and became pregnant and quit drinking. Fast forward 3 years and I had another child. This is when my drinking began again. I used to drink liquor in college and had too many blackouts so I switched to beer. That is currently and has been for the last 7 years, my drink of choice. It used to be that my husband and I would have a few beers a couple nights a week, but at this point it is every night. I am able to control the amount I drink, but still drink daily. some times it is only 2 beers, sometimes it's 4, on occasion it is 10. I know this is taking a toll on my body, but I can't seem to give it up. I will wake in the morning feeling like **** whether I've had 2 or 10. I will tell myself that I wont drink that night, but 8o'clock rolls around and I head straight to the fridge. This makes no sense to me, but I am more afraid to not drink, than to drink. I have NEVER touched a beer in the morning and usually don't begin my drinking at night until after 8PM, so I've never really had withdrawals, yet I am afraid of this happening. In the last 7 years, I have only been sober for 2 weeks:-(
I have decided that today starts a new, sober life for me. I NEED to be there for my kids. If anything at all, I will NOT drink today.
In short, that is my story. My mind is a bit jumbled today (had 10 last night) so if this post makes no sense, please ignore it. I will attempt to come out of my shell in the coming weeks. Thanks for listening.
buttercup
I am a 33 year old stay at home Mom of 2 young kids. My drinking began in high school and then progressed in college. I got married and became pregnant and quit drinking. Fast forward 3 years and I had another child. This is when my drinking began again. I used to drink liquor in college and had too many blackouts so I switched to beer. That is currently and has been for the last 7 years, my drink of choice. It used to be that my husband and I would have a few beers a couple nights a week, but at this point it is every night. I am able to control the amount I drink, but still drink daily. some times it is only 2 beers, sometimes it's 4, on occasion it is 10. I know this is taking a toll on my body, but I can't seem to give it up. I will wake in the morning feeling like **** whether I've had 2 or 10. I will tell myself that I wont drink that night, but 8o'clock rolls around and I head straight to the fridge. This makes no sense to me, but I am more afraid to not drink, than to drink. I have NEVER touched a beer in the morning and usually don't begin my drinking at night until after 8PM, so I've never really had withdrawals, yet I am afraid of this happening. In the last 7 years, I have only been sober for 2 weeks:-(
I have decided that today starts a new, sober life for me. I NEED to be there for my kids. If anything at all, I will NOT drink today.
In short, that is my story. My mind is a bit jumbled today (had 10 last night) so if this post makes no sense, please ignore it. I will attempt to come out of my shell in the coming weeks. Thanks for listening.
buttercup
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Welcome buttercup! Glad that you shared with us! 
There is a lot of support here so please keep posting and sharing with us..
There is an "Alcoholism forum" that you might find helpful too (you may know this already) and there are stickies at the top of the page with a wealth of information.
Takes a lot of courage and strength to share-
Others will be along shortly with some ESH-And again we are glad that you are
here!
There is a lot of support here so please keep posting and sharing with us..
There is an "Alcoholism forum" that you might find helpful too (you may know this already) and there are stickies at the top of the page with a wealth of information.
Takes a lot of courage and strength to share-
Others will be along shortly with some ESH-And again we are glad that you are
here!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
welcome buttercup....your post makes total sense, and i am so glad to see you make the decision to post....it's not just an idea in your head...you have shared it. that is a big step. please post and let us know how this first day is going and any help you need! I'll be at work, but others will be around.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: United States
Posts: 69
Welcome! Read and surf and learn and do what feels best to you to help you stop and stay that way. It is a decision and for those like me...it is a damn good one! LOL
Have a great day and again ... WELCOME
T:ghug3
Have a great day and again ... WELCOME
T:ghug3
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
Welcome to the site, Buttercup! You'll find lots of support, information, and friends here. keep posting. You may also want to try AA. I've found it to be very helpful in staying sober.
All the best to you as you begin your journey to sobriety!:ghug3
All the best to you as you begin your journey to sobriety!:ghug3
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 201
Hi Buttercup...Welcome to SR!
I like you read the board for months and woke up hung over one morning and said...This is the day! I think your timing is key at 33 years old! I know first hand at 47 that drinking takes a huge toll on the body....
Even though your only drinking 2 beers some nights and 10 on others. I have found the longer you drink, the more the disease progresses!
"I know this is taking a toll on my body, but I can't seem to give it up"
"I NEED to be there for my kids"
If it seems hard now, wait 14 more years.
Glad you desided to signup, looking forward to your post's...
Dave
I like you read the board for months and woke up hung over one morning and said...This is the day! I think your timing is key at 33 years old! I know first hand at 47 that drinking takes a huge toll on the body....
Even though your only drinking 2 beers some nights and 10 on others. I have found the longer you drink, the more the disease progresses!
"I know this is taking a toll on my body, but I can't seem to give it up"
"I NEED to be there for my kids"
If it seems hard now, wait 14 more years.
Glad you desided to signup, looking forward to your post's...
Dave
....Welcome to our recovery communityMember
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 92
Thank you to everyone for the warm welcome. Over the last 6 months I've seen the enormous amount of support on this board and I'm grateful to be here. I can't talk to anyone about this and my husband is the only one who knows. He is very supportive, but the embarrassment I feel doesn't allow me to share a lot of my feelings with him. I just realized that tonight will be the first night in 3 1/2 months that I will not drink and I am dreading it already...sigh...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
The first day of not drinking is very scary. Try to plan something, like doing something with your kids. Making plans that you cant break is a great way to stay sober in the early days. Everyday you wake up, just think, "i wont drink today", who cares about tommorrow. You can do it, and if you find that you cant, there are programs to help.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
Welcome to SR Buttercup, what you say makes perfect sense.
I found in my case that my drinking had to be only at certain times of the day as the kids started to get a bit older. With work, school, homework, dinner etc instead of boozing whenever I wanted I couldn't really start until early evening. Problem was it would go on most of the night, I would fall asleep on the sofa getting only two or three hours sleep and then have to get up for work. The vicious circle would then start all over again.
I also ditched most spirits in favour of beer, a few scary out of control incidents made me at least take some form of action( even though I was still kidding myself).
As you know there is great support and advice here for you, heres to day 1.
I found in my case that my drinking had to be only at certain times of the day as the kids started to get a bit older. With work, school, homework, dinner etc instead of boozing whenever I wanted I couldn't really start until early evening. Problem was it would go on most of the night, I would fall asleep on the sofa getting only two or three hours sleep and then have to get up for work. The vicious circle would then start all over again.
I also ditched most spirits in favour of beer, a few scary out of control incidents made me at least take some form of action( even though I was still kidding myself).
As you know there is great support and advice here for you, heres to day 1.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Down The Rabbit Hole, USA
Posts: 15
Welcome Buttercup! I like how your title says "life starts today." All I know is that my life honestly keeps getting better and better the more I don't drink. Does it mean that all my troubles are gone? No way, but now I am putting my energy into learning the tools I need to operate and live a good life instead of into drinking and trying to feel better after having drank. Life starts today! You really don't have to feel hungover and guilty tomorrow if you don't drink today............HUGS!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 92
I made it through night one and I feel a sense of strength this morning that I didn't know I had. I've always told myself I can't do things because I'm not strong enough (very low sense of self-worth) and I finally proved myself wrong...it feels damn good. I know it's only day 2 but its a start and i'm gaining the confidence that I can do this! Last night was not fun, though. Had tons of anxiety and was not really able to sleep, but I'm okay.
Happy Day to all...I will NOT drink today:-)
Happy Day to all...I will NOT drink today:-)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
Good job buttercup! Getting back to normal sleeping habits may take a little while but getting sober is worth a little sleep deprivation. If you can (and I know you can) try to exercise a little today...a tired body tends to sleep better.
Most of us can identify with not believing in ourselves...I think it comes with the territory. The fact that you stayed sober yesterday proves that you are stronger than you think. The power that we as humans possess sometimes lies dormant from lack of use. I believe if we change our thinking...our attitudes...we can change our lives. Everyday you remain sober and focused on your destination makes the trip that much easier. Wishing you much success!
Most of us can identify with not believing in ourselves...I think it comes with the territory. The fact that you stayed sober yesterday proves that you are stronger than you think. The power that we as humans possess sometimes lies dormant from lack of use. I believe if we change our thinking...our attitudes...we can change our lives. Everyday you remain sober and focused on your destination makes the trip that much easier. Wishing you much success!
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