losthope31

so H and I have been separated now for 3 weeks. He relapsed after almost 3 yrs of sobriety w/ crack/cocaine. I at the time of the relapse said I was done and he understood and moved out. We are still friends and have been talking a lot about how we are going to split up things and so forth. My confusion comes b/c I thought for sure that this was what I wanted was a divorce but then I think about all the wonderful qualities he has and we get along so well and he is an awesome father. I just don't think I could ever trust him 100% again. And if he keeps relapsing, well, I don't want to go through that again either. I just hate that this drug took away my best friend and partner for life. I'm very afraid to start over with someone else especially b/c my H is the only person I've ever "been with", in fact he was my first real boyfriend. So its very, very scary. I also start thinking well maybe my H is my soulmate and we are meant to be together and I won't find anything else as good as my H is. I'm so glad I see my therapist tomorrow and I hope she can help me. I hate these confusing life decisions and thoughts.

rahsue

I'm sorry you had to go this route but give it some time, you have to do what is right for you and your family. Time is a funny thing it can fix things it can heal things.

beegee

Dear losthope, I can not think what you must be feeling being so torn. They say when in doubt do nothing. You probably need some time to think and decide or some friends from here to help you see your way. People who are where you are or have been there.
Hang in there and don't rush into anything.

pumkin

Losthope
seems like you and me sharing the same destiny.
ı have given several chances to our relationship but relapses are inevitable. I will also file for divorce this week and it is really hard to stickt to my decision
what if I regret after that happens ?
but it is really the best to live the moment and do not afraid of what the future will bring to us. there is no place that we could feel worst when they relapse.
I hope best will happens to all of us .
he is also my soulmate , the one I want to be with for the rest of mylife
but I can not keep thinking what will happen next when he relapses and I am living my life in worries.
I dont know which one is better. to stay with him or stay with worries for the rest of it.

hope213

welcome to S.R. take your time, you do not have to make any decisions now. work your program & let him do his thing whatever he choose to do. you can not keep him clean & you can not make him use. you know the life with an addict & when the time comes you will know what to do. we are here for you. keep coming back & let us klnow how u r. prayers,

patchoulli

Hi honey. I am sorry that you are in this situation. I can honestly tell you that unless he wants to make the changes necessary to remain clean, nothing is going to change..The wonderful person under the demon of addiction is not here. The active addict brings heartbreak and chaos...it is progressive, it gets worse, not better. Please take care of you and your child. You are in my thoughts...Marian