Ladybugg

It seems my ex has a new love. I found out he is seeing a girl that I used to work with, actually we ran the same machine together for a couple of years. I guess he moved right out of girlfriend number 1's trailor, right in with this girl. I am hurt and I don't even know why. I was moving right along and then out of nowhere, this sort of stopped me in my tracks. We have been apart for 2 years, I don't understand why I still love him. I know I can't be with him and never would even consider it. Somedays I just feel sad about the whole situation and I think, what a waste. I guess this won't bother me for long and I will get over it, I just needed to get this out. I hate feeling like this.

Ladybugg

I think it is these voices in my head that are tellling me that this time he will get it together. Like I really believe that his using or recovery has anything to do with me in the first place. Years of telling him that his problem is him and not anyone else, and I still believe he will meet the right woman and magically change.

I am hearing voices and answering my own posts, :wtf2

lilkim

It's ok. I'm going thur the same thing it will pass. It just really hurts now. I was with him throught the broke years. Now some one else is benifiting. It sucks.

BBD

I really can understand how you girls feel. With normal relationships there usually is closure but with addictive personalities I think you have to protect yourselves and move on. I'm sorry your still hurting but hopefully time will heal all. Big hugs, Bonnie

Abundance

When my xah husband and I split... I got through it with a lot anger... and somehow... someway... I just moved on. I totally detached... like no looking back. But what did it for me was seeing him again a few months after finally having the courage to leave... just to see if there was that special connection.... and even THAT was gone.... I saw that as my final chance to just turn and run and not look back. I jumped right into MY life and got excited about doing my thing without the worry of him relapsing every 3 months.

My aunt used to tell me that thinking of them wiping their own bum (literally) would put you off them quite quick! LOL! Making the faces and all... it just simplifies it!

OH... and it's painful to have growth and growing pains... so you ladies will always be remembered... my xah to do this day talks about learning what he was taught from our marriage. I could go to that bitter place, but I don't see the point.... it feels so much nicer to be kind and be grateful that they are moving on.

Give yourselves a hug!

Ladybugg

I pray that I can let go of any bitterness that I still have and that I can be okay with him trying to do his thing. I don't want that life but I still want him to suffer, and that is bothering me to feel that way. I pray that my HP can help me to get past these feelings and be happy that he has moved on. I know I will never be forgotten. Thanks.

rahsue

well I think it's logical that you would still be in love with the person you fell in love with, not necessarily the man he is today and he is seeing someone you worked with and not a stranger, that would feel wierd to say the least, so I think what you feel is very normal and 2 years isn't really that long for being in love with someone, I'm sure it takes each person a different length of time to "get over" a love. hang in there maybe your just in alittle slump and feeling mushy, I get that way and it goes away quick enough.

sdw1469

Know how ya feel. My exabf moved out of my house, lived with mom about six weeks and then moved in with someone else. She seemed to be pretty decent (I dropped off my daughter at her home for visits). And this really pissed me off. I felt like: "I'm the good one, why does he get to have somebody good and I get to be all alone" Plus I still loved him. I was very jealous. Funny about a month or so he started calling me from her house at like 3 am asking if he could come over. Never happy.

She ended up kicking him out after about six months. about a year later we got back together and guess what? it still sucked, he still sucked and it took no time at all before he started missing in action. He lives with his mom now which is good because she's the only woman who will put up with a man that doesn't come home 3 or 4 nights a week.

Just remember: " and this too shall pass"

Ladybugg

I know. He is already on his second relationship and the first one didn't really know him so she had to learn the hard way. This new one knows what he does and I guess she thinks she will change him. I am feeling mushy and I know it will pass. My son is working at the same construction as his dad for the summer. We hear from him more and know more about him. I didin't end it because I wanted to. I had to. There was no clousure and there will never be. He was binging at the time and I just made him leave. So it was over and I knew it after 18 years. It has just been one of those weeks I guess, where my negative and self-defeating thoughts have been taking over. It is all about me and I know it. Thanks again!!

sdw1469

When I feel bad I always remind myself: Better her than me.

There were definitely good times but the cost was far too high.

Take care of you.