AWayOut321

Hello,

I'm a 21 year old male and I've got a lot of problems. These problems are both physical (I think I've definitely damaged my brain) and mental in nature. I have no friends and I spend my days at home. If an old friend does call, I'm usually not interested in having a conversation, because... what's the point? I've become a failure and a loser. I don't have a job, nor do I go to school. I used to have many friends and I used to work and attend school on a regular basis, but now, I just can't. I can't function in a social situation, I'm just not comfortable. I'm not even comfortable writing this message and I can feel the anxiety and stress mounting. I've been trying to figure out what the problem is, but nothing seems to work... Every time I seem to improve... It leads to nothing. About one year ago, I was caught stealing a small vodka bottle and sentenced to probation. Now, I have a case worker and a psychiatrist. I don't understand how this can possibly help me (it will clear my record, though). If I can't help myself and if I can't understand what's been going on with me, then how will I be able to explain it to a shrink and get the help that I need. So far, I've been taking the prescribed medication, but it only makes me feel worse and it doesn't do anything for my thinking... Both doctors encourage me to continue, so I take my pill religiously. I'm trying to improve and I eventually want to go back to school and make new friends, but it seems so hopeless right now... (I really hate it when I'm like this). Anyway, I've started to exercise again and eat properly. I'm trying desperately to help myself, because I need to believe in something... I need a reason to live. As you can see, I still haven't lost hope and I hope that I never will!

firebird

Hello and welcome,

You have found a great place for help and support. I think its good you have a psychiatrist to talk to. Sometimes I find that having to write or talk about whats wrong in my life helps to clarify things in my head . It's hard at first but gets easier. I, too, isolate myself and stop eating when things become overwhelming. But that only makes things worse. Do take care of yourself, eat, don't stay in bed day all, try to get out of the house--even if it's just a short walk.

I'm sorry I can't offer more help but I wanted you know that you are not alone and that it is huge that you found this site and posted.

Rusty Zipper

never give up that hope! AWO


rz

dave47

Welcome to SR, there are plenty of decent folk here to give you advice and support,
best wishes.

least

Keep working on yourself and a sober life. I go to a shrink also, as well as two counselors. I find it to be a great help to have someone to talk to.

Don't give up hope. You can get yourself and your life back to where you want to be. Just keep trying.:ghug3:praying

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

There is always hope and you are so young that so many good things can happen in your life.

Is it possible that you are not connecting with your psychiatrist or that he/she is not helping you through this tough time? If so, you might consider switching to a different dr. It's good that you are taking the meds that you've been given and sticking with them. Believe me, you are not a failure or a loser as long as you are striving to improve your life. I hope you keep reading and posting.

CarolD

Welcome...

DSodaNow

Welcome- Thank you for having the courage to share with us. This is a great place to come and get some of your thoughts out and read others experiences. I think most of us here experience some level of anxiety issues. Try to relax and know that you are safe to share here.

Have you been really open with your doctor about your feelings and how you believe the medicine is affecting you? The more honest you are the better able he should be able to help you. Maybe if you can't talk to him directly you could print off some of your shares here.

Best of luck to you! Glad you found this site.

AWayOut321

Thanks to everyone (beacons of light!) who read and responded to my thread, I really appreciate it. Thank you

Yes, you're right on! ~ That's one of my main problems and that's the reason why I don't have any friends; I find it difficult to connect with people, but even if I do, I get disconnected and end up sorta in my own little world. It makes me feel like I'm losing my mind or worse: it makes me feel like I'm becoming... conscious. It confuses me to no end. I'd rather not get into that at this point, but I'd just like to add... I feel alienated from my best friends. I mean, hanging out with a former friend is way better then if I were to meet someone new, but there were times in which I felt like I didn't even know these people, it's almost as if I lost my memory of our friendship. My friends have informed me on many occasions that I have changed, etc. So, if I have some difficulty chatting with an old best friend, then how am I going to be able to trust/connect with my psychiatrist. I've spoken to various mental health professionals and some are easier to talk to then others, however, it's still not the same and I'm never completely comfortable...

These past couple of years of isolation have made things worse, because I took it to an extreme level. I wish I never took drugs - my life would be completely different! ~ But then I think, maybe this'll all workout and I'll be stronger and better then I would have been otherwise. There's a light at the end of the tunnel... I'm just scared it's a reflection from the other side.

Yes, I have. They (including my family doctor) have encouraged me to continue taking the medication. It's a low dose and It's not that bad, really, but I feel I'm more disconnected with the outside world (on it) and so I feel the need for isolation. Also, I feel I used to feel and think better off the meds, but then again, I think this is how the meds work...? (So, when I get off, I'll feel sorta rejuvenated...).

Thanks, again.