misswhisper

Hello, all. I have been reading around your message boards the last couple of days - looking for the support and motivation to stop drinking. Thank you for all of your posts - they really help me strip the denile away from what I am living with - me, the alcoholic.

I had a year sober until January and I have been on a relapse ever since. Things have, of course, become progressively worse and I really want to stop. I need a plan - I can't go to treatment, unfortunately - so I will have to detox by myself. I would appreciate anyone's idea's or comments regarding this --

Respectfully submitted,

Me

Ananda

even if you cant go to treatment, you may be able to go to detox under your drs care.....and if not that...at least involve your dr in the process you are going through. you may have medical needs during the process.

We are here for you and as you go through this post, post and post again....and read read and read....If you have any skin on people who can be with you at least through part of this it will be very helpful.

So very glad you are here.

Anna

Hi and Welcome!

Yes, you should talk to your dr about detoxing. It can be dangerous.

I'm glad you found us and know that you did it before, and you can do it now. We do understand how difficult it is and are here to offer support.

Tazman53

Please at least see your doctor before just going cold turkey, detox kills a lot of alcoholics, detoxing is more then show of will power, it can be deadly.

What did you do to stay sober for a year?

Did you quit doing it?

Rowan

Hi and welcome. I'm glad you found us and hope you stick around. We are here to encourage and support one another in recovery.

Aysha

Yep..Probably a good idea to consult a doc before stopping.

misswhisper

Thankyou, thankyou.

I will think about the DR thing. I have detoxed myself before - the anxiety is the worst part of it. I am concerned about my inability to manage my responsibilities without alcohol. I am a maintenance drinker - need the medicine to be ok.

I can't believe that I "decided" to try to manage my drinking again. I knew that I wouldn't be able to - guess I made a choice to go back into the nightmare..... How dumb is that?

During my earlier recovery, I did AA - had a sponsor - worked the steps - the whole 9 yards. Then my recovery fell apart - I had some problems with my sponsor that had to do with boundaries and other things, our community is small and there is so much disfunction in the recovery community here - in addition to being rather "high profile" in the business community - which just gave me excuses to pull away from what had been working.

Once I can detox, I can go to meetings outside of our community. I know that I need that piece of recovery - that I can't do this alone.

This helps - even just talking about it here.

Thanks.

tennis71

Welcome to SR - I look forward to reading more.

My only thoughts are What are you willing to do to get sober?

Also, for me I had to make sobriety my first priority over everything else in my life. Can you make sobriety your number one priority?

Welcome again, take it a day at a time and thanks for posting!

SoBearish

Welcome to the site!!

ThisIsTheDay

Hi and welcome to SR....

"I had a year sober until January and I have been on a relapse ever since"

Wow that's a long time....well you know can stop and sounds like you have plan.

Good luck!

least

Glad you found us. I've had a problem staying sober since the first of the year. I'm now on day seven and if I can do it, so can anyone. PLease do whatever it takes to detox safely and stay sober.

:ghug3

Tazman53

Misswhisper please keep in mind that your program is your program, your sponsor is part of your program and is your sponsor happens to mess with your program for what ever reason find another sponsor and move on with your recovery.

Just to let you know in case you did not notice already, every detox is worse then the last one, so be prepared. You know what worked before, you know that when you quit working it what happened.

It sounds as though you have an excellent plan, back to meeting and new sponsor. When you speak to someone about being your sponsor it may be best to let them know what problems you had with your first sponsor, that way your new sponsor can start off on the right foot aware of what your old sponsor did.

CarolD

Good to see a new member...Welcome!

misswhisper

thank you all for your comments and support. i have been doing some research around all of this - and i have contacted someone locally that i know and trust - in recovery.

my plan is to find a good doctor who can supervise my detox - and then to go to out of town meetings 3 or 4 times a week - along with continuing to come to this site for support. i really appreciate you people out there that care. it's quite amazing, really -

thanks again -

ThisIsTheDay

Wow that sounds like a great plan...

Good Luck and keep us posted!

colagirl

Hi misswhisper and welcome to the site! I hear you on the anxiety thing, that's what got me a couple of days ago. It's awful! I was a daily drinker too but somehow managed to not get physically addicted. Everyone here has given you good advice about detox though. I look forward to reading more of your posts.

misswhisper

thanks, colagirl and the rest of you. Yeah, the anxiety is the worst. Actually, anxiety is why I drink, most times, too. And it is only when I have been sober and in recovery for a period of time that the anxiety actually goes into remission..... So many things get better in my life when I'm sober. It is just amazing to me that I drink when I've got it going on. But this disease is cunning, baffeling and powerful... and it kicks my ass!

I know that I underestimate it at times - I get it all figured out in my head and I think I've got it beat - and - pretty soon I am having a coctail to celebrate!

That makes sense, huh?

Rowan

It sounds like you have a solid plan - make sure you follow it with action

Welcome back to recovery.