brentsgirl

Are there some addicts who just don't have a bottom? My xabf seems to have a trampoline at the bottom of each of his.

lightseeker

they all have their bottoms but some of them are the ones that end in death, institutions, or jail. My RAH had more "bottoms" than you can count. One of the things that makes it difficult for addicts to find their bottoms is when their loved ones haven't found theirs.

I know that you are worried and concerned because you love him. I found that the answers that I was seeking about RAH never came to me until I completely changed the focus of my questions to me. (example: any time I asked a question about him I made myself apply it to my own life). I am receiving almost all of the answers that I had wondered about but it only happened after I let it all go and turned all of the time that my thoughts, worries, concerns that were focused on another to myself. Melody Beattie's books really have helped me a whole lot - have you had the time to read them? Also, return to the sticky's at the top of the forum.

Hope that things are going well for you otherwise - I know who devastating this whole experience is for you but there really are helpful ways to deal with it all.

Hugs -

splendra

One of my good friends said to me once that what looks like a bottom to us could be

Mt. Everest to them....

laurie6781

Everyone's and I do mean EVERYONE'S bottom is different.

Whether it is the bottom in addiction to alcohol and/or drugs, or the 'bottom' of being a codie.

There is no predicting when 'the light bulb' will go off, and for some it is too late when it does.

The best thing you can do for you is to take care of YOU.

J M H O

Love and hugs,

Jody Hepler

I learned that most addicts want to get better, when we take away all the pillows.

And it was very hard for me to do!

Love in recovery,
Jody Hepler

frstnm

I had a bottom that was pretty low.
I kept digging......

loner1968

ya know what's strange? I never thought about codies having a bottom but it makes sense. Sick and tired of being sick and tired works for me too!

brentsgirl

Loner,

I agree. I haven't really thought about it either. I wonder where my codie bottom is?? Just got the book "Co-dependent No More", so hopefully that will help!

Thanks!
BG

Spiritual Seeker

Most addicts suffer greatly when near the bottom.
Depression and suicidal thoughts tend to occur. The body and mind ache.
Not being able to figure a way out of the situation and not having the strength to crawl out of their pit seem common.

A recovering addict, court or family member usually needs to intervene in my exper.

brentsgirl

SS,

Thanks for the insight. My xabf hasn't been to a meeting in well over a month, but the day before he took off on his latest binge last week, he called an old friend from NA. Reaching out? I dunno, it just scares me to think, he has gone so low. Lower than I thought possible and still no bottom reached. I am just praying that his bottom won't be found inside a coffin.

BG

Impurrfect

(((Brentsgirl)))

Laurie's right...codies usually have to hit bottom before they will start taking care of themselves. Just as an addict has to accept that they can't continue using/drinking, codies have to accept the 3 c's...you didn't cause his addiction, can't cure it, and can't change it.

I realized I was every bit as addicted to my XABF's as they were to their DOC. Everyone kept telling me I deserved better, he was no good for me, etc. but I still held on for dear life...until I got tired of being miserable.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

11d

I agree with a Codie's Bottom being when they finally accept the 3 C's. I really had a hard time with this. To give up trying to be everything to everyone......to learn the word NO. After that, I finally accepted the 3 G's. Just to get off of him and onto myself. I always thought that was selfish, especially living with an addict who is so selfish. It took a while and I still go back and forth, but I realize that it is my path to serenity.