wenchris

well, I have had my grandsons for a week. The baby is a month old tomorrow and the 2 1/2 year old was an angel but quite two year oldish all day today. My son was supposed to leave detox Monday at noon but he called his girlfriend this morning because he was mad since he could not sleep (?) and she went and picked him up. Grrrrrrrrr. The first phone contact was tearful and shaky but it quickly all went down the proverbial tubes as the day got harder and my son went looking for his fix, knowing he loses babies permanently if ho doesn't make a full turn around. He did not find the meth, we had already called everyone and warned them about selling to them, we made sure our son had NO money, No car keys and NOTHING available to sell. I am supposed to have him at the doctors office tomorrow to help him get started on something for continued screaming anxiety and an antidepressant. I don't know if I still take him or give up. I don't know what to say or what to do. It is so hard not to cry in front of the babies and I want to just give up on my son, too. I will do the naranon as soon as I am allowed to leave the babies with someone else, two weeks or so. I am so lost........

Ann

My thoughts are to do what is right for you and the babies, that's enough people to have to look after.

I,m sorry he is already back on the run, I know how disappointing and sad this makes you. What helps me is to say a prayer and give my son to God and then try to get my focus back on me and all the good things in my life.

Those babies are blessed to have you, special prayers going out for all of you.

Hugs

serenityqueen

I wish I had some words of wisdom to pass on. But I don't. Just some thoughts and many Prayers.

For starters, no matter how many times you call everyone warning them not to sell any drugs to him, make sure he has no money, car, nothing, he's still going to manage to get high. And you can't do this your whole life. It isn't helping him get help for his disease. It may keep him from getting drugs as easily, but it won't stop him. I know when I was using, I had "friends" who cared so very much about me that the last thing they wanted to do was to see me dope sick. Especially when I got out of tx or detox. They did what they had to do to pull me back.

I know many addicts, including myself, who take an antidepressant. But I would make sure the doctor is very aware that he is an addict and had just walked away from detox if he is going to consider putting him on any benzos for anxiety. Benzos like Xanax, Klonopin, Ativan and Valium (even though it's not prescribed very often any more) have the potential to be extremely addictive. . . especially to an addict.

My Prayers go out to you and I think you are an incredible woman for taking on the care of your Grandkids, especially at the ages they are. Please, do some things for yourself. We're you able to find any assistance in taking care of the kids on a part time basis? I know you said that it will be a few weeks until you can leave them with someone, but how about anyone coming in while you are there as well? This way you could possibly get in a well deserved nap or a long, hot relaxing bubble bath.

God Bless,
Judy

bigsister1982

Wenchris, my thoughts are with you & congrats on taking charge of this. It sounds like you're doing an awesome job.

Just a word of advice. Find out what the doctor is prescribing, and if possible, have someone clean hold onto the meds. Hopefully your doctor is sensitive to the situation but you never know what they will prescribe. I really like your signature line and that's what made me think of this.

As much as things are hard right now, it's a step forward, and hopefully soon, your son will realize the hell he's been through, and understand that he doesn't want to get back on drugs so he doesn't go through that again. Just because he's out of detox doesn't mean all hope is lost. Sometimes people need family & love more than just a bed to sleep in.

helpus

(((Wenchris))) Just sending support & hugs.

marle

Sending some hugs and prayers. My daughter is currently on suboxone and as of right now it is helping her overcome the cravings for her DOC which was heroin. She went through 2 days in detox to get stabilized on the subs and then a week in rehab. She is now in a halfway house where she will stay as long as she needs to. But she had to fall pretty far down in that hole before she was willing to try something different. I do have a glimmer of hope for the first time in 2 and a half years. Hugs, Marle

greeteachday

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. So glad you can be there for those babies but I too hope that you can get some help soon so there is a little time for you.

wenchris

Well, the update is, Chris was not looking for opiates but was looking for something like Xanax, nonetheless. He didn't get it. He did refuse the meth according to him, SAID he does not want that he just wants the leg spasms to stop. Tonight, he took off on foot when his girlfriends mom went in to get a sweatshirt. He walked two hours through the woods and got to another house, they called and said he was there, offering for somone to come and get him. He is back at his home, still crying, but insisting he just wants the bodywide charleyhorses to stop. So now that he has not used I am still willing to take him in and see if we can help him through the next week or so. He does not want the Suboxone. We do have someone to administer but I have no idea what the heck to do. Thank you all for your help, it is so very important. I have the next two weeks off work with the babies (at least) and some calls in for day care and my hubby is still helping me A LOT.

Spiritual Seeker

wow you are right in the middle your son's stuff.
Trying to exercise all that control must be very stressful for you.

With those babies, you have to be.
Thankfully, you are able to be there and step in for them.
This is awful to see your son's addiction progress and his life become unmanagable.
As parents we often have to let go, as a grandma that's a different story.
It sounds like you have learned not to enable your son.

sleepygoat

Sounds like you are trying very hard and actually doing very well, as well as doing everytihng you can. Why on earth did your son NOT go to rehab? He sounds like a poster child for the need for rehab.