mikeb

Any feedback on them, curious as I will probably start alanon also id like to get into somethings a little bit more focused on recovery of ME and my big issues

Ann

My home fellowship was CoDA, Mike, I went to a terrific meeting in Toronto for 8 years before we moved north.

We has about 30 members most meetings and many double winners as well (also belonging to AA or NA and addressing their own codependency as well).

It truly was about us, substance wasn't an issue. Many members who found themselves very codependent had issues unrelated to substance of any kind.

That said, Alanon and Naranon are about us too and are very similar to CoDA and to each other and we have members here from all three fellowships.

The important thing is that you are giving meetings a try. Give yourself a chance to get used to them and try several different meetings to find the ones that suit you best.

Please let us know how you make out. It's a good thing you are doing for yourself.

HUGS

Astro

I attend one CoDA meeting every week, AA every night. I often post that I need AA to keep me sober, but CoDA makes my recovery brighter and shows me what healthy relationships look like. Man I love those meetings, and look forward to them every week.

I agree with Ann, CoDA meetings are about us. What I hear is how others set healthy boundaries and focus on taking care of themselves. And what I notice even more that's quite different from my AA meetings is the depth that we look within and aren't afraid to share with the group. It's pretty amazing, I'm so grateful to have the program available for my recovery.

mikeb

See this is what I need more than anything right now, the AA/Alanon side I understand very well its not as hard for me to deal with as the issues within me that I want to change....

Lots of these are direct results of being in an addict relationship for so long and my family background but this is exactly what I was looking to hear so I somehow manage to have a CODA meeting right next to my office building I kinda wish I would have thought about this about 5-6 yrs ago might have made some repairs earlier

Thanks I will update everyone after I attend one...

greeteachday

Glad you can find a Coda meeting so close, that's terrific. My Naranon group is very much focused on us...one of the things we say in our intro each week is that our sharing should be focused there...Sharing about the addicted loved one is very limited and only done in reference to how it relates to how we feel. So I think sometimes it just depends on the group. I haven't had active addiction in my life in almost 2 years, but I keep coming back to my Naranon group because I know my recovery program impacts every aspect of my life.

Ann

Funny how that works. I think we all wish we had known sooner and begun our recovery a long time ago. I know for me, I wasn't ready, it wasn't until I was ready to surrender exhausted and beaten that I could open my mind and my heart to what this program is all about.

When we are ready, the answers come....and not one moment before.

Good luck and I'm looking forward to hearing your update.

Hugs

Astro

I know what you mean about wishing you had gone earlier, but I have no doubt that when I went to my first meeting the timing was right. My sobriety from alcohol had to be pretty solid before I worked on my emotional sobriety. I spent 27 years drinking and longer than that being in one form of dysfunctional relationship or another, so I figure I'll be working on myself for the rest of my life!

What finally got me to a meeting was finally recognizing that I was in an endless cycle of obsession and commitment issues, and seeing what it was doing to all my relationships. After a year in CoDA I feel like I've barely scratched the surface, but it's good (can be painful, but still good) to start the process of digging deeply into my past and working on the issues.

I'll look forward to hearing about your experiences with the meetings!

BJW

I'm an active member of CoDA and will honestly share that I love the fellowship. I also attend Nar-Anon, but the focus of CoDA is more personal for me. There's a lot of healing in CoDA that has to do with where I came from and how it is I became co-dependent in the first place. I know now I was a codie long before I married an alcoholic or raised an addict child. There's more thought given in CoDA to my family of origin and how that relates to the dysfunctional codie I grew up to become. Nar-Anon, which I also attend, offers exactly the same 12-step recovery, but in CoDA there's a bit of a different feel. It's hard to define. It's just different. For me it's more intimate and the experiences shared are broader. I have noticed that in CoDA there are members from many other 12-step programs, myself included.

In my experience, regardless of the programs I attend, recovery means focusing on the solution rather than the problem. Thus far that has been my experience and I'm a grateful member of two, sometimes three 12-step programs.

I wish you well and encourage you to seek recovery regardless of which Anon group you choose. They are each valuable and offer a road to the land of mental, emotional, and spiritual health.