trish

My husband is an alcoholic. Not a heavy drinker, but definatley one who has his beers every night. When I first started coming on this board, I was in denial. I figured that since he was not a staggering drunk ( like my dad was ) it was acceptable. Now I know better. Summer is here and his drinking gets so much worse. He is outside being " CHATTY KATHY" and sucking his beers down. My 16 year old daughter asks him if his beer is glued to his hand. He used to start after 12:00, now it's as soon as the beer store opens up next door. Yeah, I know, he has the leisure of buying his alcohol so close to home. He is always over there, talking and hanging out with all of the other drinkers, while I sit in my yard and watch. He has no problem talking to the girls that work there, because they are drinkers too. We don't talk really anymore, and when we do it is usually about financial problems. Except when he wants to make me feel that I am only put on this earth to be his masturbation tool. I am not any fun anymore to him. Have been trying to continue in my drug abuse recovery and I am making my way back into society.
So life really is hard, some of us recovering addicts are pressed into difficult situations while trying to revive ourselves from our drug induced past.

constant

OH Trish.....How I can relate.....the "the tool" as if it is our obligation just because we are married to them....no matter how they are behaving. The being be-littled by them and the ugly things they say because they haven't gotten their way! Don't know if you read the daily readings that bargiedeb posts, but yesterdays really applied to the lashing out. It really made since.

My hubby was hanging out at the local watering hole last summer with female bartenders and waitresses EVERYDAY! The last straw was when he took the bartender for a ride on the back of OUR Harley to one of OUR friends house!!!! I told him to stay out of there (the bar) or he could move out of our house.......long story short he still lives here and doesn't go there anymore!

Keep working on yourself Trish.....find some boundaries that work for you. I am sure that you know the ropes, but hang in there girl, I am rooting for you.

Constant

Gabe

In his little world of denial, you HAVE to be the one with the problem. Otherwise, he might have to cop to the fact that HE is the problem. I could go on and on about the lies my ex-A told about me and the things he accused me of that were flat-out untrue. Just remember, the alcoholic in your life is not living an honest life right now. The things he is saying to and about you are the fallout from that.
I'm sorry that things are so difficult for you right now. I hope that you can keep the focus on you and your recovery and off of him.
Peace,
Gabe

trish

Hey, thanks for being here for me and letting me vent. There isn't many people to talk to around my neighborhood. Yesterday was not so bad with him. He was actually not holding a beer every second. He kept asking me what was wrong and he knew better than to wait for my reply. I am tired of always being the "Mother" in our relationship. Even when we used to do drugs, it was the same way. Anyway he wasn't soushed yesterday.....I guess he just drank enough not to go through DT's.