Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Commitment

As we walk through life, there are many things and people we may lose, or lose out on, if we are unwilling to commit. We need to make a commitment for relationships to grow beyond the dating stage, to have the home or apartment we want, the job we want, or the car we desire.

We must commit, on deep levels, to careers, to goals, to family, friends, and recovery. Trying something will not enable us to succeed. Committing ourselves will.

Yet, we need never commit before we are ready.

Sometimes, our fear of commitment is telling us something. We may not want to commit to a particular relationship, purchase, or career. Other times, it is a matter of our fears working their way out. Wait, then. Wait until the issue becomes clear.

Trust yourself. Ask your Higher Power to remove your fear of commitment. Ask God to remove your blocks to commitment. Ask God for guidance.

Ask yourself if you are willing to lose what you will not commit too. Then listen, quietly. And wait until a decision seems consistently right and comfortable.

We need to be able to commit, but we need never commit until we are ready. Trust that you will commit when you want to.

God, guide me in making my commitments. Give me the courage to make those that are right for me, the wisdom to not commit to that which does not feel right, and the patience to wait until I know.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

cmc

Thanks Ann,
I used to dive right into a friendship just because of circumstances. Nowadays I am more selective and careful of my side of things but I also try not to over-correct and shut people out. I get to choose how it goes and at what pace. I don't have as many close friends as I used to, but the new ones & those I have kept around are not toxic- and in fact are wonderful.

Chino

Same thing with me and I used to share my life story at the drop of a hat. I thought it meant I trusted them but discovered I was really looking for validation and acceptance. I've slowed down since then and surprisingly my circle of friends has expanded to people I would have otherwise shut out. I allow trust and companionship to grow instead of forcing it.