alcoholism vs. binge drinking?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 10
alcoholism vs. binge drinking?
Hi all, I'm new here, so please be gentle.
My father is an alcoholic who has been sober for 20 years (most of my lifetime). I never touched the stuff til college, when pressures gave in. I got into a pretty serious binge drinking pattern my freshman year which caused me to almost fail out of school. I was able to cut it down significantly by sophomore year so that I was only having a drink every once in awhile. But every once in awhile...I would relapse. This pattern would continue. By my senior year, I was in a relationship with a BIG drinker and we would get blitzed almost every night. I go from being a fun drunk to a crazy person in about two seconds. My alcohol induced outbursts (during most of which I was blacked out) pretty much forced my boyfriend to break up with me (and urge me to cut down on my drinking.)
I have cut down SIGNIFICANTLY, and I haven't blacked out in almost a year. I'm just kind of confused about the whole binge drinking vs. alcoholism thing. I'm not sure which I fall into. I still drink socially right now, but I am kind of terrified of going too far one of these nights. I wish I could get totally sober, but it is so easier said than done. Most of my friends are big drinkers, and I'm in theatre where people drink all the time. I know these aren't really excuses.
Anyway...I wanted to introduce myself and ask people's thoughts on the binge drinking vs. alcoholism thing. Look forward to hearing from you guys. Have a blessed night.
-C.
My father is an alcoholic who has been sober for 20 years (most of my lifetime). I never touched the stuff til college, when pressures gave in. I got into a pretty serious binge drinking pattern my freshman year which caused me to almost fail out of school. I was able to cut it down significantly by sophomore year so that I was only having a drink every once in awhile. But every once in awhile...I would relapse. This pattern would continue. By my senior year, I was in a relationship with a BIG drinker and we would get blitzed almost every night. I go from being a fun drunk to a crazy person in about two seconds. My alcohol induced outbursts (during most of which I was blacked out) pretty much forced my boyfriend to break up with me (and urge me to cut down on my drinking.)
I have cut down SIGNIFICANTLY, and I haven't blacked out in almost a year. I'm just kind of confused about the whole binge drinking vs. alcoholism thing. I'm not sure which I fall into. I still drink socially right now, but I am kind of terrified of going too far one of these nights. I wish I could get totally sober, but it is so easier said than done. Most of my friends are big drinkers, and I'm in theatre where people drink all the time. I know these aren't really excuses.
Anyway...I wanted to introduce myself and ask people's thoughts on the binge drinking vs. alcoholism thing. Look forward to hearing from you guys. Have a blessed night.
-C.
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Hi and welcome to SR!
my advice is to read the stickies at the tops of the forums=-
especially the alcoholism forum.
I hope you find the answers you're looking for here,
as well as make a few new friends and find support for what you're looking for.
A short answer to your question -
it's pretty much not the timing of the drinking that defines an alcoholism problem -
it's when the stopping ... is the problem.
my advice is to read the stickies at the tops of the forums=-
especially the alcoholism forum.
I hope you find the answers you're looking for here,
as well as make a few new friends and find support for what you're looking for.
A short answer to your question -
it's pretty much not the timing of the drinking that defines an alcoholism problem -
it's when the stopping ... is the problem.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
I'm glad you found us here on SR.
I'm an addict/alcoholic. Here's my description of an alcoholic.
An alcoholic doesn't have to drink daily. I believe that to be a common misconception. Many alcoholics don't. What defines an alcoholic, in my opinion, is when the drinking begins to cause problems. I would start drinking before I went to the bar or parties. I drank after I got home. I drank alone. I tried to hide my drinking because I knew that those around me were telling me that I turn into somone I'm not when I drink. Friends and family were urging me to either slow down or just quit. I had blackouts too. Waking up and not having any idea what happened the night before until someone told me. I would hit redial on the house phone and not remember calling the person at all. My calls on my cell phone shocked me. I spent money I don't remember spending. . . .
I knew I was an alcoholic when my drinking lead to problems such as having a bad day and not wanting, but needing a drink. When I had a good day and wanting, no needing that drink to celebrate. When I was bored, I needed a drink to get through the day.
Usually if someone wonders if they are an alcoholic, they usually are. I hope that if you even are thinking you have a problem that you will stop now before things get a lot worse. My alcoholism and drug addiction cost me so much in my life.
God Bless,
Judy
Certified Scrabble Cheat!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The Hill City, MS
Posts: 316
Welcome to the site Drama. You will find so many loving and caring people here. Our backgrounds are as varied as our excuses. I believe you stopped here for a reason.
Barb summed it quite well:
It's pretty much not the timing of the drinking that defines an alcoholism problem -
it's when the stopping ... is the problem.
Again, welcome.
Barb summed it quite well:
It's pretty much not the timing of the drinking that defines an alcoholism problem -
it's when the stopping ... is the problem.
Again, welcome.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 39
Hello, I'm a theatre person too!!! I actually think there are many reasons why being sober would be conducive to being an actor. Training as an actor (or actress) requires sooo much discipline, commitment, and physical and mental endurance and willingness. I think that it would be hard to stay on top of everything if I was drained of energy from drinking. I actually wasn't involved in the arts for a couple of years, and being out of touch with my creativity felt terrible...it was around that time that my life became progressively unmanageable, I think - I don't know which came first; I think they fed off of each other. I believe that as artists we really need to learn how to take care of ourselves and set boundaries. I completely understand wanting to party with the other theatre people...at the same time, I'm sure they will love you as you are even if you don't drink because you all share a greater passion!
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
Welcome Drama,
I have to agree with what everyone else has said, thus far. Stick around, read and listen to the wise people here. They are an amazing group of people and have a great deal to offer. They have helped me to stop drinking, when I thought it was going to be impossible. I wish you well.
I have to agree with what everyone else has said, thus far. Stick around, read and listen to the wise people here. They are an amazing group of people and have a great deal to offer. They have helped me to stop drinking, when I thought it was going to be impossible. I wish you well.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
drama, welcome to the family...
as mentioned, for me, when i said ENOUGH!
it was way to late to stop on my own...
alcoholism had bought my ticket to the Abys!
a spiritual experience, you stoped by this site! Hmmm!
good wishes Drama...
rz
as mentioned, for me, when i said ENOUGH!
it was way to late to stop on my own...
alcoholism had bought my ticket to the Abys!
a spiritual experience, you stoped by this site! Hmmm!
good wishes Drama...
rz
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Welcome,
As others have said, it's not how often you drink, or even how much, the problem is how it affects you. If you drink and you can't stop, that's alcoholism.
For me, when I tried to control my drinking, I obsessed about it. I worried constantly about how much I could drink, when, where, etc. It was such a relief to finally just stop.
As others have said, it's not how often you drink, or even how much, the problem is how it affects you. If you drink and you can't stop, that's alcoholism.
For me, when I tried to control my drinking, I obsessed about it. I worried constantly about how much I could drink, when, where, etc. It was such a relief to finally just stop.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Welcome to SR drama, alcoholism is not drinking every day, nor is it the amount drank.
It is not how much we drink, how often we drink, or how long we have drank for that determines if we are alcoholic or not, it is what happens to us when we drink!
BTW do some research on the progression of alcoholism, binge drinkers find the progression usually to be along the following lines.
The length of thier binges get longer.
The length of time between binges gets shorter.
If a binge drinker continues to drink long enough many of them do become daily drinkers.
One other thing I would suggest is to do a search on the post by "Queenteree", her husband is a binge drinker, who may be on his last binge, his liver is shutting down, he is suffering dementia, his doctor has already told him he has 6 months or less to live if he does not quit drinking now and still may not live much longer if he does stop. He is still on a binge.
It is not how much we drink, how often we drink, or how long we have drank for that determines if we are alcoholic or not, it is what happens to us when we drink!
BTW do some research on the progression of alcoholism, binge drinkers find the progression usually to be along the following lines.
The length of thier binges get longer.
The length of time between binges gets shorter.
If a binge drinker continues to drink long enough many of them do become daily drinkers.
One other thing I would suggest is to do a search on the post by "Queenteree", her husband is a binge drinker, who may be on his last binge, his liver is shutting down, he is suffering dementia, his doctor has already told him he has 6 months or less to live if he does not quit drinking now and still may not live much longer if he does stop. He is still on a binge.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 10
Thanks so much everyone for your warm welcomes, kind words and insightful answers. I think I've been kind of caught up in this image of what I thought an alcoholic was- my dad was the type who drank every day, often alone so that's always kind of been my definition. And then I went to college, where blackout drinking seemed to be accepted as a sign of having a good weekend. I shouldn't have gone to a party school.
eccentricmuse, you are absolutely right. Sometimes I wonder why I even bothered doing all this training on my voice and body when I'm not taking care of either when I'm drinking heavily! And I can't tell you how many auditions I've most likely blown because I was hungover. Or auditions I flat out missed because I couldn't get out of bed. Drinking has been such a huge part of my social life that I know it will be a challenge to stop, but I'm at least beginning to think that this might be a wise choice.
And now I'm off to read the stickies!
eccentricmuse, you are absolutely right. Sometimes I wonder why I even bothered doing all this training on my voice and body when I'm not taking care of either when I'm drinking heavily! And I can't tell you how many auditions I've most likely blown because I was hungover. Or auditions I flat out missed because I couldn't get out of bed. Drinking has been such a huge part of my social life that I know it will be a challenge to stop, but I'm at least beginning to think that this might be a wise choice.
And now I'm off to read the stickies!
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
Welcome Drama,
I was a binge drinker and can really relate to your questions. I know that the only person that can decide if you are an alcoholic is yourself. I began going to AA simply under the third tradition (the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking). It took me a really long time for me to figure out that I am an alcoholic. There were times that I did "successfully drink" but I never knew when I wasn't going to be successful. Also, I did a full-time job of creating an unmanageable life. Finally, I quit listening to the differences between myself and "the alcoholics" and began to listen for the similarities. That's when the light came on and I realized that it wasn't how much or when I drank....it was what happened to me when I did.
I unfortunately took a long long time to figure it out. 4 marriages later and lots of heartache I finally understood that what I had was a sickness of the spirit. Alcohol was but a symptom. And when I stopped drinking, went to meetings, found a sponsor, and worked the steps it made a huge difference. It all probably wouldn't have worked if I hadn't needed it. I just wish that I had investigated the whole thing better when I was your age. Keep coming back!
I was a binge drinker and can really relate to your questions. I know that the only person that can decide if you are an alcoholic is yourself. I began going to AA simply under the third tradition (the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking). It took me a really long time for me to figure out that I am an alcoholic. There were times that I did "successfully drink" but I never knew when I wasn't going to be successful. Also, I did a full-time job of creating an unmanageable life. Finally, I quit listening to the differences between myself and "the alcoholics" and began to listen for the similarities. That's when the light came on and I realized that it wasn't how much or when I drank....it was what happened to me when I did.
I unfortunately took a long long time to figure it out. 4 marriages later and lots of heartache I finally understood that what I had was a sickness of the spirit. Alcohol was but a symptom. And when I stopped drinking, went to meetings, found a sponsor, and worked the steps it made a huge difference. It all probably wouldn't have worked if I hadn't needed it. I just wish that I had investigated the whole thing better when I was your age. Keep coming back!
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
journey and rewards
Originally Posted by dramatothemax 
I wish I could get totally sober, but it is so easier said than done.
Boy did you come to the right place! There is so much wisdom in the answers you've already received. And there is not a single person here who doesn't really and truly "get" your statement above. Non-alcoholics don't always understand that, in my experience. Or they just belittle it a bit.
What it sounds like to me is that you are recognizing that you are at the beginning of a long and treacherous journey. And you have to make sure you have all the maps and all your gear and the right shoes, etc. You have to make sure you even want to go on this journey. It's scary. "Maybe you don't need to go on it," you think?
But if you do choose to go on this journey now, and you move steadfastly through the widerness of sobriety and recovery, you will be given gifts that you couldn't believe. With recovery, life becomes livable again - not a chaotic messy stew where you don't trust your own self to behave appropriately at an afternoon BBQ. Not the nightmare of waking up not knowing where you are and how you got there. Life can be peaceful and you can find yourslef craddled in a life that you enjoy, with friends who respect you and with work that is intersting.
These seem like fairy tale promises but they're not. Most of us here are still in fairly early recovery - I've got 4 months (
- feeling rather happy about that at the moment) and so, for me, I am seeing glimpses of how recovery is remaking my life into something I want to participate in. I don't have it all down by a long, long shot. It takes time and effort. But I really do see gifts in my life that weren't there before.I hope you read the stickies and then you stay here and participate. It's a wonderful site with lots to offer.
I also would like to 2nd LightSeekers post - very valuable stuff.
I'm feeling loopy so I'll sign off and not subject you to any further ramblings. But I'm glad you're here. Keep us posted if you care. I'd like that.
- MLE
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 10
Thanks everyone! I'm so glad my questions made sense, and were statements you all could relate to. I tend to feel like I'm not making sense, or completely alone in my particular situation.
I did have a drink today (sigh), but I was able to limit myself to just ONE on a Friday night when those around me were drinking. And I went home early! It's maybe not anything to be proud of, but for me it's a start.
Thanks for everyone's words. They really brightened my day today. I found the stickies very useful as well. I will keep everyone posted as I try to figure out which path is best for me. Looking forward to getting to know everyone through their posts.
I did have a drink today (sigh), but I was able to limit myself to just ONE on a Friday night when those around me were drinking. And I went home early! It's maybe not anything to be proud of, but for me it's a start.
Thanks for everyone's words. They really brightened my day today. I found the stickies very useful as well. I will keep everyone posted as I try to figure out which path is best for me. Looking forward to getting to know everyone through their posts.
Certified Scrabble Cheat!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The Hill City, MS
Posts: 316
Originally Posted by dramatothemax
I did have a drink today (sigh), but I was able to limit myself to just ONE on a Friday night when those around me were drinking. And I went home early! It's maybe not anything to be proud of, but for me it's a start.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,126
I've been meaning to post on this thread since the first time I read it, but I kept fergittin' (there's that pesky ole sometimers poppin' up agin....lol). You've gotten some really great replies, especially Tazman's.....:
"...It is not how much we drink, how often we drink, or how long we have drank for that determines if we are alcoholic or not, it is what happens to us when we drink! BTW do some research on the progression of alcoholism,
binge drinkers find the progression usually to be along the following lines.
The length of thier binges get longer.
The length of time between binges gets shorter.
If a binge drinker continues to drink long enough many of them do become daily drinkers..."
One thing to remember is that we're all different.....I followed the above progression, right up thru the binges to the daily drinking/using [starting with my Southern Comfort in my morning coffee (a pot; 6 cups), beers throughout the day plus probably a coctail with lunch, and my drinks with my dinner meal, and OF COURSE, my desert cognac, my after-dinner drinks.....till bedibye time,.....and on to the next day to start it all over again]
But then a strange thing happened.....I can't remember exactly why, but I reverted back to a binge drinker, which for me, this time, kept including arrests, jail, fines, lawyers.....totally not fun (believe me, California jails were not nice, but Texas jails are REALLY NOT nice....lol). This is how I can totally relate to the old joke.....: Yes, I'm allergic to alcohol; everytime I drink, I break out in handcufs.....lol.
Anyway....so you see.....we're all different, but the same.....I'm willing to bet that not one person here could guarantee what would happen when they were still active....a nice quiet/normal night with a few drinks, or complete chaos.....and for me this was the clincher...... (o:
Like may words in recovery (including that word also), no one gets to define these words for anyone else but him/herself.....words like, alcoholic, alcoholism, recovery, recovered, sober.....etc., etc., etc., ..... et al.
NoelleR
"...It is not how much we drink, how often we drink, or how long we have drank for that determines if we are alcoholic or not, it is what happens to us when we drink! BTW do some research on the progression of alcoholism,
binge drinkers find the progression usually to be along the following lines.
The length of thier binges get longer.
The length of time between binges gets shorter.
If a binge drinker continues to drink long enough many of them do become daily drinkers..."
One thing to remember is that we're all different.....I followed the above progression, right up thru the binges to the daily drinking/using [starting with my Southern Comfort in my morning coffee (a pot; 6 cups), beers throughout the day plus probably a coctail with lunch, and my drinks with my dinner meal, and OF COURSE, my desert cognac, my after-dinner drinks.....till bedibye time,.....and on to the next day to start it all over again]
But then a strange thing happened.....I can't remember exactly why, but I reverted back to a binge drinker, which for me, this time, kept including arrests, jail, fines, lawyers.....totally not fun (believe me, California jails were not nice, but Texas jails are REALLY NOT nice....lol). This is how I can totally relate to the old joke.....: Yes, I'm allergic to alcohol; everytime I drink, I break out in handcufs.....lol.
Anyway....so you see.....we're all different, but the same.....I'm willing to bet that not one person here could guarantee what would happen when they were still active....a nice quiet/normal night with a few drinks, or complete chaos.....and for me this was the clincher...... (o:
Like may words in recovery (including that word also), no one gets to define these words for anyone else but him/herself.....words like, alcoholic, alcoholism, recovery, recovered, sober.....etc., etc., etc., ..... et al.
NoelleR
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