dslittlesister

I was originally joined this forum to ask how I could help him, my brother, with his drug addiction. However, he's in rehab for the second time (well, detox right now, but rehab after) and after some of the awful things he's done to our family, I finally understand the whole concept of enabling and codependency.

I used to think that it was so cold to cut someone off for the sake of not enabling, but I get it now. It got to the point where he was only coming home every few days to sleep it off and then steal from our family before taking off again, only to withdrawal hundreds of dollars daily from our bank account. We didn't want to report the card as stolen because we truly believe he will get well some day and the amount he stole is quite substantial; we don't want him to have a huge charge pinned on him when he's already got a few minor charges.

So I guess I'm trying to learn how to live with the terrible disease that addiction is. It was tearing my family apart until we collectively decided that his addiction will NOT become ours. It's so hard to see my big brother in the condition he's in. We've been told he has one of the most addictive personalities ever seen by a counselor in a court-mandated program.

I know he has to be ready to get help. He has to be ready to make changes. And he has to hit rock bottom before he can finally realize what he's doing to himself. However, I've thought he's hit his lowest low at least twice already, only for him to sink lower.

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us.

I hope that your brother will seek help before he sinks any further. A bottom can be at any point when someone decides that they have had enough.

Take care of yourself.

CarolD

Prayers for you and your family.

Welcome!

Horselover

Praying for you, your family and your brother. Praying he finds a sober life.

niceguy01

Praying for your whole family. :praying

Serenity8

Welcome to SR. This is a great place to learn how to take care of yourself regardless of what our loved ones are doing.

HERRERA

You Ask How You Can Helphello And Thanks For Joining.
You Ask How You Can Help Your Brother, Well I Believe You Already Have By Making The Decision To Not Let His Addiction Be Yours. And It Is A Family Disease As Well. You Make A Good Candidate For Anlon-on. I've Been In And Out Of This Program For 12 Years, Been To About 13 Treatment Centers, Lied, Cheat, Stolen, I Can Go On But That Will Probably Take Up Some Time. Please Don't Get The Wrong Message You See There Are Recovering Addicts/alcoholics Who Have Struggled And Have Maintained There Sobriety Through This 12 Step Program. I Have Recently Came Back From Some Relapses Of My Own, And Nothings Changed. I've Let Me Family Down For The 100th Time. You Know This Last Time I Went To Treatment They Didn't Even Come To Visit Me. For A While I Was Mad At Them, But To Tell You The Truth I Couldn't Blame Them They Actually Were Doing Me A Favor, Because I Wasn't The Victim Here. Today I Work The Program Pray, Mediatate,read And Work The 12 Steps With My Sponsor And Go To Meetings Consistanly One Day At A Time.
You See I Recognized My Problem Was Me And Me Being Consistant.
Your Brother Will Get This One Way Or The Other. I Hope And Pray He Gets It While He Still Has Time. The Ending Results Are Recovery,jails, Institutions, Or Death.
Please Tell Your Brother You Love Him But You Don't Want To Love Him To Death By Enabeling Him, That's What My Husband Did For Me And I'm Grateful That He Did Because We Have A Better Relationship Now.
May God Bless You And Your Family.

least

Dear LIttle Sister, I will keep your big brother in my prayers. God knows what we need before we ask for it. Prayers that your family can stay strong in this troubled time.:ghug