Question about AA meetings
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Open means it's open to anyone, whether they're battling addicition or alcoholism or not - like you could bring your mom for support or something like that. Closed means it's just for those battling addiction or alcoholism.
At least that's my understanding of it!
At least that's my understanding of it!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
So do I have to say that I'm an alcoholic to attend a closed meeting? I know I am, just not sure that I want to walk in and immediately say that to a bunch of strangers the first time I go. On second thought, maybe that's exactly what I should do.
Last edited by flgirl; 05-23-2008 at 02:07 PM. Reason: more to say
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,051
You don't have to say it, but I'd encourage you to do so. For me it's my way of admitting that I'm an alcoholic, just like everyone else in the room. It's much less painful to admit my similarities than it is to look for differences. Does that make sense?
I found that the more I opened up, the more people welcomed me and the more comfortable I felt in the rooms. Now they feel like home to me.
Asking questions never sounds stupid! I hope you have a positive experience with meetings.
I found that the more I opened up, the more people welcomed me and the more comfortable I felt in the rooms. Now they feel like home to me.
Asking questions never sounds stupid! I hope you have a positive experience with meetings.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
Thanks Astro,
I figure that if I've made it this far, may as well go ahead and go ahead. I'm scared to go, but not anxious in the way I have been. Isn't that odd? Oh, and still not had a drink.
I figure that if I've made it this far, may as well go ahead and go ahead. I'm scared to go, but not anxious in the way I have been. Isn't that odd? Oh, and still not had a drink.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,051
I think I was scared to go for my first 5 months, but I went almost every night and held onto my chair with both hands so I wouldn't leave before I heard the message.
One day I got tired of hurting, a guy came up and offered me a handshake, and I had the amazing sensation of being pulled in by many hands.
I guess that is what's meant by letting everyone else love us until we can love ourselves. What a great feeling.
Good work with not drinking. When everything else fails, sometimes abstinance is all I have. And even that can work pretty good in a pinch!
One day I got tired of hurting, a guy came up and offered me a handshake, and I had the amazing sensation of being pulled in by many hands.
I guess that is what's meant by letting everyone else love us until we can love ourselves. What a great feeling.
Good work with not drinking. When everything else fails, sometimes abstinance is all I have. And even that can work pretty good in a pinch!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 486
Its a good question actually. I have never looked up the difference on the web site but from what I have seen, open meetings are of a general nature for all to attend and participate. Closed meetings are more specifically geared to the alcoholic who is working the steps, kind of like a 12 step class. They either go over the big book page by page or the 12 by 12 step study book and they are more structured than most open meetings I have attended.
And don't worry about sharing, I think that most meetings are similar in that they do not require you to share or read. If you are anxious about either one, don't worry you should be able to just sit and listen to the others (of course you should introduce yourself when prompted so the group knows your name
).
That is my take on it anyways as I only have 1 closed meeting that I attend on a regular basis, the rest are open.
And don't worry about sharing, I think that most meetings are similar in that they do not require you to share or read. If you are anxious about either one, don't worry you should be able to just sit and listen to the others (of course you should introduce yourself when prompted so the group knows your name
).That is my take on it anyways as I only have 1 closed meeting that I attend on a regular basis, the rest are open.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
I think the thing I'm the most scared of is losing control of my emotions. I know that sound ridiculous, given the fact that I had lost control of my life. I'm still bouncing all over the map, but my head is a whole lot clearer today, and I haven't strayed far from the posts. Hope I am making sense. You guys have been my lifeline today!
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
flgirl I am so pleased to hear you're going to a meeting!
I think alot of people who have never been to a meeting have some misconceptions of what goes on. Television only shows a person standing up in a room in front of everyone, microphone, podium and all and saying'Hi,my names Judy and I'm an alcoholic." That's not how it is. That happens when a person stands up and gives a lead (their story)
Most meeting rooms can easily be mistaken for a church basement function, folding tables and chairs or chairs in a big ol' circle. You NEVER have to speak a word unless you choose to.
A meeting starts with the reading of How it Works, The Twelve Traditions and the Eleven Promises. Then, unless it is a very large meeting, the Chairperson, who is basically the host of the meeting for a lack of better words will say, "Let's go around and introduce ourselves, my name is Bill and I'm an alcoholic." "Hi Bill" and then the next person, "My name is Judy and I'm and alcoholic," "Hi Judy" . . . . . It's pretty much asked that you at least say your first name. If you don't choose to say you are an alcoholic, you don't have to. Just say your name and that's it. No one is going to stop and say, "Hey, Mary, are you an alcoholic?" You will simply get the same smile and welcome, "Hi Mary" In an open meetings, if you or anyone else chooses to bring a friend, a support person . . . this person will generally say, "My name is Sue and I'm here with Mary." Again, "Hi Sue"
That would be the extent of your speaking. If you so choose.
Many meetings will ask if there is anyone present for their first meeting or first time at that particular meeting. It's hoped at that time that you again will say, "Hi, I'm Mary" and once again you will receive huge smiles, welcomes and applause. This is not to single you out, it is to let those who have been around awhile know that you may need some phone numbers, given a meeting list . . . basically to see that you are made to feel welcome. No one wants to put you on front street.
I think when you walk out of your first meeting your going to tell yourself that this is nothing like you expected. For me and nearly everyone else who goes to that first meeting are in awe at how it seems as though everyone else in the room is telling "their story" It was a great comfort for me to know that I wasn't the only one who had these thoughts, fears, obsessions . . .
Let us know how it went!
God Bless and remember, It Works if You Work It!
Judy
I think alot of people who have never been to a meeting have some misconceptions of what goes on. Television only shows a person standing up in a room in front of everyone, microphone, podium and all and saying'Hi,my names Judy and I'm an alcoholic." That's not how it is. That happens when a person stands up and gives a lead (their story)
Most meeting rooms can easily be mistaken for a church basement function, folding tables and chairs or chairs in a big ol' circle. You NEVER have to speak a word unless you choose to.
A meeting starts with the reading of How it Works, The Twelve Traditions and the Eleven Promises. Then, unless it is a very large meeting, the Chairperson, who is basically the host of the meeting for a lack of better words will say, "Let's go around and introduce ourselves, my name is Bill and I'm an alcoholic." "Hi Bill" and then the next person, "My name is Judy and I'm and alcoholic," "Hi Judy" . . . . . It's pretty much asked that you at least say your first name. If you don't choose to say you are an alcoholic, you don't have to. Just say your name and that's it. No one is going to stop and say, "Hey, Mary, are you an alcoholic?" You will simply get the same smile and welcome, "Hi Mary" In an open meetings, if you or anyone else chooses to bring a friend, a support person . . . this person will generally say, "My name is Sue and I'm here with Mary." Again, "Hi Sue"
That would be the extent of your speaking. If you so choose.
Many meetings will ask if there is anyone present for their first meeting or first time at that particular meeting. It's hoped at that time that you again will say, "Hi, I'm Mary" and once again you will receive huge smiles, welcomes and applause. This is not to single you out, it is to let those who have been around awhile know that you may need some phone numbers, given a meeting list . . . basically to see that you are made to feel welcome. No one wants to put you on front street.
I think when you walk out of your first meeting your going to tell yourself that this is nothing like you expected. For me and nearly everyone else who goes to that first meeting are in awe at how it seems as though everyone else in the room is telling "their story" It was a great comfort for me to know that I wasn't the only one who had these thoughts, fears, obsessions . . .
Let us know how it went!
God Bless and remember, It Works if You Work It!
Judy
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
MMM must be different from area to area....here closed is that you must be alchoholic to attend. Open means anyone can come, however one of the groups only lets alchoholics speak...the others let anyone if it's open.
Some closed meetings here are bb or step, but some are topic/discussion.
If you call the local AA number you can probably get an answer that is correct for your area.
Some closed meetings here are bb or step, but some are topic/discussion.
If you call the local AA number you can probably get an answer that is correct for your area.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 448
I think at this point I am willing to admit to being an alcoholic. You guys are giving me the strength I need to do that. Now the other thing is the meeting is at a church down the road, but I don't know which building, and will feel rather stupid wandering around asking "Is this the AA meeting"? Silly I know, but it's gonna be hard enough to admit to other alcoholics that I am one, let alone some church member there for a different function.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Like Astro said, it's usually pretty obvious.
Look for which area of the church parking lot has all of the cars in. You can go park by there, sit in your car for a minute and when someone pulls up, you can simply roll your window down and ask,"I this where the meeting is?"
If it's where the AA meeting is, you will more than likely get a huge smile and a point in the right direction.
If there, by chance is another function being held at the Church, the person will more than likely say, "Oh, the fundraising meeting?" or whatever meeting may be scheduled as well. If that's the case, you can say, "Oh, maybe I'm in the wrong place, thanks" And then look for the other group of cars.
I'll be looking for you tonight to let us know how it went.
Hugs,
Judy
Look for which area of the church parking lot has all of the cars in. You can go park by there, sit in your car for a minute and when someone pulls up, you can simply roll your window down and ask,"I this where the meeting is?"
If it's where the AA meeting is, you will more than likely get a huge smile and a point in the right direction.
If there, by chance is another function being held at the Church, the person will more than likely say, "Oh, the fundraising meeting?" or whatever meeting may be scheduled as well. If that's the case, you can say, "Oh, maybe I'm in the wrong place, thanks" And then look for the other group of cars.
I'll be looking for you tonight to let us know how it went.
Hugs,
Judy
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: LA - Lower Alabama
Posts: 5,068
For Flgirl and anyone else interested, here is a great guide to your first AA meeting. I sure wish i had read this before I ever went to a meeting.
Your First AA Meeting
Your First AA Meeting
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by flgirl 
So do I have to say that I'm an alcoholic to attend a closed meeting? I know I am, just not sure that I want to walk in and immediately say that to a bunch of strangers the first time I go. On second thought, maybe that's exactly what I should do.
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Flgirl,
Please don't be apologetic about asking questions or feeling anxious. This thread is now, to me, one of those threads that we should send all new people who are anxious about attending their first AA meeting to.
I bet it was scary for all of us that go to AA and it was scary partly because it was another step toward surrender to the idea that we were in fact alcoholics. Also scary because we didn't know what to expect. And scary because we were afraid that our emotions might get out of control. You've voiced all of those fears. And I know I experienced each of them, for sure. Great job. I can't wait to hear how it went for you.
BTW - I sobbed through my whole first meeting.
- MLE
Please don't be apologetic about asking questions or feeling anxious. This thread is now, to me, one of those threads that we should send all new people who are anxious about attending their first AA meeting to.
I bet it was scary for all of us that go to AA and it was scary partly because it was another step toward surrender to the idea that we were in fact alcoholics. Also scary because we didn't know what to expect. And scary because we were afraid that our emotions might get out of control. You've voiced all of those fears. And I know I experienced each of them, for sure. Great job. I can't wait to hear how it went for you.
BTW - I sobbed through my whole first meeting.
- MLE
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