Teggie

He got his hydro filled a week ago, we've had the discussion before, he scarfs them down then borrows from neighbors etc.

So he asks me to hold them and give him only a certain number a day. Stupid me said yes.

So I notice he's still on a "up" the last few days, more than usual. I go to refill his med boxes and the bottle seems to have less in it.

So I confront him, yes, he saw where I had hidden them & took extra for the "pain" He also says he gave his neighbor 15 of them....bull....more lies I am sure.

I put the pills back in the bottle, handed them to him ands said "I can't do this anymore, and your not going to do it in this house. He went out the door, got his laptop, got into his truck and left.

I'm such an idiot, why do I refuse to see things that are right in front of me.

I can't do it anymore.

Teggie

bigsister1982

I tried to control my brother's prescription meds when he stayed with me. That worked until he wanted 3x what he needed and then a drive to go hang out with his sketchy friends. I said absolutely not - then he threatened to call the police on me and have me charged for theft.

After that he didn't stay with me anymore! I would never hold medicine for anyone else again. It made me feel like a drug user and pushed a lot of responsibility onto me that I didn't want to take on. I hated stressing about what was going on with the extra meds, who they were going to, and who they could hurt.

I don't know how many times I've said that I can't do it anymore. But you will surprise yourself with your strength. You can love someone without enabling them and taking on responsibility for their mistakes/problems. And that's the best help you can give anyone.

Teggie

So neighbor shows up asking where hubby is. I say I don't know because I told him to leave. He asks why and I say he loves his pain meds more than us & that he should know that because hubby had supposedly gave him 15 of them.

Neighbor says he's sorry to hear it and no, he did not receive any pills from hubby. I say Oh, thats nice, tell him I want my debit card back when you see him.

So thats nice, guess he scarf'd those too. what the hell ever, he dropped off my card. I'll have him removed from my acct & have his cell phone deactivated by 12 noon tomorrow.

Hell hath no fury than a codie spurned.

Teggie:codiepolice

bigsister1982

It's a terrible limbo - would you rather think that they've given away their pills (therefore endangering someone else) or that their addiction is so strong that they are going through meds like candy?

It's a terrible rhetorical question with no good answer

BayAreaPhoenix

(((Teggie)))

Sorry you're going through all this.

Sounds like you've got a plan together tho for what you're going to do, that's good!

Hang in there.

hello-kitty

Are you serious?? I dunno... I might cancel it if I was you. ESPECIALLY if I was serious. Why does he need your debit card? So he can spend your money???

Oh wait! I scrolled down. THANK GOODNESS you have a plan in place. GOOD FOR YOU! Stick to your guns. He made his choice when he walked out. But he'll probably be back and he'll probably beg... so be prepared with your boundaries and consequences firmly in place.

Teggie

Today has been tough. He went and stayed last night at his "friends" house, the alleged non recipient of the 15 pain pills he prob scarf'd down.

So he comes to the door a dozen times at 6am while I am trying to get kids ready for school. He needs cell phone charger, clothes, etc etc.... Then he heads out back to the shop, fiddles out there awhile leaves awhile, comes back etc. He works making countertops, cabinets etc and makes them out in the shop. He's broke right now but has some checks coming from jobs he's done.

So this afternoon I note his truck is back there but shop is dark so I figure he has plans of just staying crashed back there. I don't like that, it defeats my purpose of "leave".

So I go out there thinking maybye we will talk some. Sure enough he's got a recliner beach chair out there & is napping. I notice he doesn't get near me enough to see his eyes. But I can tell he's still medicated. I should have just said leave but I had to "talk" Should have saved the "talk" for when he runs out of meds which I figure will occur in about 4 days.

I ask what his intentions are? He says he plans to give me part of his income for the mortgage and he'll just live in the shop. I ask him does he know why I asked him to leave, he says he has no clue (yah right) I tell him why (again) & he states I am crazy (again)& have been just looking for a reason to ask him to leave. He says he won't stop taking his pills because of the "pain" Yah know it's all my fault, everything, because he says so.

I say I may be crazy but he's an addict and looks and acts like a duck. I ask him over and over "Why did you take extra meds out of the bottle without telling me?" to which I never got an answer. Never did. Now on looking back, the entire conversation should have never happened. Totally useless and no good for me at all.

I get pissed, (again, conversation should not have happened) tell him to pack his sh*& & leave the premises. He was not to stay in the shop. I went back into the house, a bit later I hear tires squealing & son tells me later he's back at friend's house (which btw is messy and bug infested)

BTW our son is his son and son askes him why he is at friend's and hubby tells him that his mom won't let him stay at home & gets son all upset with me. Takes me awhile to get son, who is 7 calmed down and knowing he can still see his dad.

Then I have a long phone call with my sister who has been down both sides of this road & then with my mom. Now, after posting I feel a tad bit more calm.

I don't know how this will end up but all I can do is take it day by day, raise my kids and stick to my boundries.

Thanks so much, it helps so much to be here with y'all.

Hugs
Teggie

splendra

(((((Teggie))))

I am so sorry you are going thru this. It is good that you are trying to back away from him. I know the anger. My H stayed in our travel trailer last summer and managed to weddle his way back into the house. I hope you can get him out for your own sake cause I doubt he will take you seriously until you do.

Just take good care of you and be gentle with yourself.